Meth Teeth and Scary Music Videos

Today, I've pretty much been chilling out, doing nothing at all.  During my time doing nothing, I have mostly been surfing the internet, and testing my dog's problem solving skills.  Well, I'll be honest, that's all I've done.


I looked at my stats page earlier.  I have a bit of a statistics fetish, I love it.  That's why I kind of stopped blogging for an entire month; my stats page didn't work.  I lost all will to blog.  But now it's working again, and I've noticed something strange.  In the bit where it says "keywords" or whatever it is that shows you how people found your blog, is the term "meth teeth".  Now, people have been searching for "meth teeth", and coming across my blog.  What the hell.  Seriously.  Google meth teeth and tell me how it's related to my blog.  I'll save you the effort.  I did a post a while back about True Blood, the tv show.  I mentioned the horror that is Anna Paquin's teeth.  I also mentioned the meth panthers, I believe.  So that might be it. 



I've also been getting a few page views from a site called alphainventions.com . Never heard of it, but it's sent 18 people my way.  Thank you mysterious website, I may not understand what you have to do with me, but thank you anyway.


So other than staring at my stats, I've come across a few other interesting things.  This isn't new to me, but has anyone seen the short film "Runaway" by Kanye West?  I know he's a douche and all that, but for some reason this video is mesmerizing.   It's 34 minutes long, has all the music from his newest album, and it makes no sense whatsoever.  Click here for a link to the full length film.  I don't even like Kanye's music, but I just find this so interesting.


From what I understand, Kanye sees a fiery thing crashing to the ground while he's driving around in a forest.  He goes to check it out, and he finds some feathery phoenix-woman who has strategically placed feathers.

  It cuts to the woman freaking out about everyday household items, since she's from another planet or something.  Then she's crawling around on the grass.  Then she's dancing around the house.

No, she's not naked.  Don't worry.  Then there's some weird symbolism thing going on with a kid running around. Cue marching band and fireworks display and explosions and stuff.  Cut to the bird lady playing with a cup.  He then takes her to a formal dinner in a warehouse type thing.  There's ballerinas dancing around while Kanye somehow ends up on top of the piano he was playing.  Then a waiter serves a giant bird for a meal, and the bird lady loses her shit, which I suppose is understandable.

More scenes of grass frolicking and moody slow motion explosions.  Then there's a conversation between the two about how she can't stay in this world because she doesn't belong and stuff.  Some weird shots of the bird lady that sort of imply that they got it on (is that even possible?), and he wakes up on the roof.  More explosions, then it shows her flying off in flames, and him running through the forest like he was at the start.



It's so freaking weird, but I really like it.  Even if the lyrics are vulgar at some points, all of the music carries this atmosphere that really compliments the film.    You should check it out.


Anyway, other than that, I've been reading about a man called Josef Fritzl, the man who had his daughter locked in a secret basement for 24 years, fathering 7 children with her.  I think I've read enough about it that it could be a stand alone post, so that's most likely going to be next.


Lastly, since I only posted like a day ago, my actual life hasn't changed much.  I think I'm pretty close to getting a job at a service station, thanks to a friend's mother who runs the place.  So if I do, it shouldn't be too bad working there.

Also, I mentioned in the last post about my bf baking a cake.  I expected it to be an absolute disaster.  Apparently, so did he.  When I got there, he had so much cake mixture all over his shirt that it looked like he had thrown up on himself (he hadn't, thank god).  The cake was finished, and ready to eat.  He took it out of the fridge, and I witnessed, honest to god, the most homosexual looking cake I've ever seen.  It was bright pink.  With those candy butterfly things on it in cute pastel colours.  Seriously, it's gay-ness hurt my eyes.  It was just so pretty, it belonged at a four year old's princess themed birthday party.  Sometimes I really question his sexuality.  The pink cake, combined with his love of skinny jeans and hair gel, it makes me wonder...

Australia Day! Also, I have an award!

I've been given an award by Dani-Q, so I'll do that at the end of this post.  Here's a brief update on my life.  

Still no job, but the bag shop at the local shopping centre is apparently looking for casual staff to do 8-10 hours a week, which is perfect for me.  I spoke to the lady, and she seemed really positive.  So I went home, got my resume, and went back there a few hours later.  The lady actually recognised me, which was very encouraging.  I got an email back about a job at a grocery store, and they said their hiring process is on hold until mid-February, so that sucks. Other than that, nothing new.

WARNING:  THIS PARAGRAPH IS A BIT GRAPHIC.

I went to the doctors about my digestion-related problems.  He referred me to a pathologist, who had to take blood, urine and faeces tests.  The pathologist wasn't very nice at all.  But she had to deal with my faeces, so I think we all know who came out on top.  BUT, she told me the sample had to be frozen, so I had to do it all again.  Of course, I got stage fright  and didn't go to the toilet for 2 days after that.  I finally did, handed in my jar of poo, and the lady thanked me for it.  I laughed like a demon.  I know it's part of her job, but it must suck.

 Since it's Australia Day, and I am Australian, I took part in the customary ritual of consuming a shitload of alcohol.  Being sick to begin with, I didn't consume as much as what I planned, but I still attempted to have fun.  There were too many people in town, and line-ups of about 30 mins for each club.  One place had a line for about 2 hours, apparently.  Also, thank god we had a designated driver, because the taxi line went the whole way down the street.  No thank you.

But now, today actually IS Australia Day, and I'm not doing anything Australia-related for it. Oh well, I think last night made up for it.

Last thing before I do the award bit, I just received a text message from the boyfriend.  He is apparently making a cake. He won't tell me what flavour.  I fear for the world.  This will not end well.

And now for the award! 

 Life Is Good

Apparently, since I have been given an award I have to answer questions and pass it on?  I think I can do that.

If you blog anonymously, are you happy doing this? If you aren't anonymous, do you wish you started out anonymously, so that you could be anonymous now?

To be honest, it doesn't really matter to me whether I'm anonymous or not.  I mean, I haven't given away all the details to me life, so to the casual reader, I sort of am.  If you wanted to go all out stalker on me, it wouldn't be too hard to find me though.

Describe an incident that shows your inner stubborn side.

I continue to argue, even when I know I'm wrong.  Mostly with my parents.  And if my side of the argument is going badly, I blame someone else and they cop it worse than I do.

What do you see when you really look at yourself in the mirror?

I see a sack of flesh with limbs and a face and other appendages.  I also stare at my eyes until they look more grey than blue.  Then I notice my terribly shaped eyebrows and run away before I'm tempted to shave them off.

What is your favourite summer cold drink?

I liked Pepsi Max, until I realised that it was one of the things that makes my digestive system do weird stuff, so I'm trying to cut down on it.

When you take time for yourself, what do you do?

I have very long showers.

Is there something that you still want to accomplish in your life?

Of course!   I haven't even had a real job yet!  Let alone a life, proper relationships, kids, etc etc.  All that normal life stuff people do when they have lives.

When you attended school, were you the class clown, the class overachiever, the shy person or always ditching?

Depends on the class really.  And who was in the class.  But I was usually seen as the overachiever, but only because I consistently turned up for class, and did the work (never the homework though).

If you close your eyes and want to visualize a very poignant moment in your life, what would you see?

When someone I was very close to was drunk, and said some very hurtful things that they didn't mean.  Even though they apologized, we were both hurt by the end of it, and it started the decline of our friendship.  We don't even talk anymore.  It sucks, because they were one of my best friends, but that incident brought out all the problems we had ever had. And don't worry, people who are reading this.  It's none of you.  You don't even know this person.

Is it easy for you to share your true self in you blog, or are you more comfortable writing posts about other people and events?

I share my true self I guess.  It's sort of a shallow picture, because I try not to name too many people, but what I do tell is like the top layer of my true self.

If you had the choice to sit down and read a book or talk on the phone, which would you do and why?

Read.  I can't talk on the phone.  I hate it.  My grandmother told my mum it was like talking to a rock when you're on the phone to me.  I'm a little bit better now, but I still hate it.

So that's it for the award bit.  I have to give it to other people now?  How about Morgan from the Adorkable Ditz' Missteps.  She always reads my posts.  I like her.  She's nice.

18th of November: Part 3. I really want Chinese food.

As the title says, I really want Chinese food.  I also really want to reach 30, 000 words so I'm not so far behind.

No, I don't want Chinese food.  I NEED Chinese food.  My thighs don't, but my mind does.  I want fried rice.  Dim Sims.  Honey chicken.  Sweet and sour pork.  Stir fry.  GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY CAN'T I LIVE IN THE FOOD COURT?


I also NEED Oportos.  It's like a burger place, and there's only one in Townsville. And it's amazing.  It has grilled chicken burgers, and they're somehow different to the other fast food shit.  I don't know how, but it's different.  Their chips are awesome too.  And their sauce.  It's all hot sauce, but there's different variations.  BBQ Chilli and Mayo, Sweet chilli, Hot chilli, Garlic aioli sauce. Oh man, it's too much.

There's Sumo Salad too.  They sell salads (like the chicken schnitzel and avocado salad), pastas (like that green shit I ate last time), and rolls (the most godly thing I have ever tasted).  I think they have fruit salads and yogurts and stuff too, but I'm not into that.

There's also a shop called A Spoonful of Sugar.  It's a lolly store, and it sells all the American stuff we don't normally get here.  They have fudge, chocolate bars, different types of soft drink, poptarts (!), gourmet lollipops, and JUNIOR MINTS.  Do you know how hard it is to find Junior Mints?  Which sucks, because they're the greatest thing I've ever had the pleasure of consuming.  I very nearly choked my boyfriend to death when I realised he sold Junior Mints where he worked, and he never told me until I went in there.  Bitch.


I'm not even hungry.  I just want something in my mouth.  Something edible and delicious.  I'm waiting impatiently for the Cleaning Nazi to come home from work, so she can take me to shove deliciousness down my throat.  Not long now...  Any minute....

(Total = 28, 206 words)

15th of November: I'm behind!

Well, I haven't posted for nearly 2 days now.  That means I'm about 4000 words behind.  Which is terrible.  One I'm in the hole, I don't know if I can find my way out.  A word-hole, of course.

This is the NaNo website's record of my achievements thus far.  Looked pretty damn good until the 13th.  In fact, it looks like it's somehow started going down slightly.

So I haven't really done much in the last few days.  Mostly working.  I've saved up $800, and I only finished uni 2 days ago.  So I'm well on my way to buying a car, as long as I don't do any ridiculously expensive impulse buys.  Like, one time I was buying shampoo or something, and I saw a catalogue while I was in the checkout.  There was an iPod advertised, and quick as a flash, I ran off and bought a new iPod touch.  This was a while ago, mind you.  I haven't done anything that silly in a while.

Change of topic right about now.

For the month of November, I have this massive list of blog topics, so I could write about this stuff, and not be desperately reaching like I am now.  The thing is, I honestly can not be fucked to do it.  I don't even want to look at the list.   Instead, I turn to my list of labels (basically rehashing shit I've already spoken about before on here).

Accents - It's always so easy to tell when a band/singer on the radio is Australian.  They have this ridiculous accent.  It somehow becomes more noticeable when singing.  As an example, look up the song "Revolution" by The Veronicas.

Alcohol - I'm going alcohol shopping tomorrow.  We have a store here called Dan Murphy's.  It's basically an alcoholic grocery store.  It's awesome, and overpriced, but so is all alcohol.  Anyway, tomorrow is cheap Tuesday, or Cheuesday, as I have previously referred to it as.   This means that my friends will accompany me to the local nightclubs, and we shall become incredibly intoxicated.  In theory.  I also have a dentist appointment, so we'll see how that goes before I start drinking.

Aliens - A friend of mine says that my bf could never shave his head, in case of an alien invasion.  She thinks that the aliens will take him home with them, mistaking him for one of their own.

Allergies - Despite my allergy to honey, I tried to eat a cereal composed of mostly honey and wheat.  It wasn't too bad.  It tasted like honey, but without the swelling and itchyness.

Anatomy - I still don't have my results back yet.  Makes me sad.  I'm sure the results will make me even more sad.

Anosmia - I attempted to make hamburger patties.  When I cooked them, Dad ran out asking what that smell was.  That smell was the patties.  Because they were a year old...

Assignments - Even if my uni is over, I still continue this personal assignment of 50,000 words. Idiot.

Australia - See accents.

Birthday - It was such a massive build up to all my friends turning 18, and now some of them are nearly 19.  Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but it's been ages since everyone's birthdays.\

Blogging - I blog enough about blogging.  I don't need more.

Celebrities - Not really related, but I was watching Beauty and the Geek the other day, and it was the makeover episode, where they all shave their neck beards and take off their COD shirts, and put on normal clothes.  The first guy to come out looked idiotic.  The people on the show turned him from a nerd, to a tracksuit wearing, bleach blonde wigger.  His hair was white.  From behind, he looked like an old man in a tracksuit going for a run.  2 of the other guys though, actually ended up REALLY hot!  Like, one of them looked amazing.  Like, he could easily be a model/actor.  And the other guy had really long hair and a beard, and when it was cut off, he was hot too.  Not like in-your-face "hit it and quit it" hot like the other one, more like a "I could marry a guy like this" kind of hot.  Which isn't bad at all.

Childhood - I try to block it out.

Christmas - Not long now.  They'll start playing Christmas carols at work any day now.


Cleaning Nazi - Today, she came home and agreed to take me to the boyfriend's house.  I told him I'd be there at 4pm.  The Cleaning Nazi says to me, "Hang on, I'll just clean all the ceiling fans in the house first".  She also doesn't understand why I was annoyed at having to wait for over an hour.  Apparently, she doesn't think that turning up an hour late is rude at all.

Computers - I don't know if I've already blogged about this, but I went to Officeworks and bought a lap-desk.  It's pretty much a flat piece of wood that you can use as a desk.  It has a curvy cut out part so it fits nicely against your stomach.  It also has a cushiony bit on the bottom to make it comfortable on your legs.

Dogs - I'm cuddling my puppy dog right now.  He's being incredibly loud with his groaning and moaning and gremlin noises.

DVDs - I'm considering buying my sister a DVD for Christmas.  Problem is, I don't know what she has and doesn't have.  I'm thinking maybe Beauty and the Beast, she only has it on VHS.

Emotions - Umm.  Emotions got a bit out of hand tonight, when I was at my BF's house.  Simply because of Call of Duty: Black Ops.  I swear, the moment he's not gazing lovingly at it, I'm going to break it.  I already laughed like a maniac when his internet connection dropped out.

Energy drinks - If I have more than one within six hours of eachother.  I have a very interesting reaction.

Exams - Fuck that shit.

Fear - This blog is taking so damn long, simply because I'm discussing Dani-Q's love life with her, and her fear of dying alone and unloved.  I'm also attempting to explain the concept of kissing in nightclubs.  She's not getting it.

Food - I've been eating so much junk food lately.  I feel bad about it but it's so much more convenient that making my own, because I have to constantly watch what I'm cooking, since I can't smell the house burning down.

Hair - My hair is hideous at the moment.  I need to do something with it. After my old hair dresser told me to piss off, I haven't had the time to get my hair done.

Injuries - Apparently, riding a bike while high is a bad idea.  It results in bandaged arms and possible stitches.  Don't worry, it wasn't me.  But I drove past them several minutes before they did it, which I find hilarious.

Love - Such a silly thing.

Magic - I don't remember what post this label was even referring to.  So I don't know what kind of magic I was talking about.

Nightclubs - I've been having a massive D&M with Dani-Q about nightclubs.  It's frustrating.

Party - I haven't been to a decent party in so long.

Patriotism - I patriotism-ed myself out the other day.  I don't even want to think about it.

Psychic - In my post about my visit to a psychic, I mentioned that she said the law would catch up with someone.  They did.  Hard.   Like, fines, possibly a court date, and potential jail time if things go really badly.  It wasn't about stealing though, so she wasn't really right about anything.


Psychology - You know, when I meet people, after they find out I study psychology, they ask me if I can read their mind.  No, no I can't.  I'm a future psychologist, not a psychic.

Stupid People - A friend of a friend added me on facebook.  He's the type who has a really clingy girlfriend, and they break up and get back together all the time.  Like, once a week.  At least.  Not even an exaggeration.  And it's all on facebook.

Tarot Cards - See psychic.

Text Messages - My phone goes weird sometimes, and I don't recieve text messages.  Then, I get them all at once, a few days later.  Last time, I got about 60, mostly facebook notifications.

The Future - I don't even want to think ahead.  Anything past January is unplanned at the moment.

Toys - The list of blog topics I have is mostly talking about toys.  And I don't want to write it.  Those posts are better off for when I've finished work and I'm pissed off about it.

Twitter - Another dodgy phone moment = There's a Twitter application you can download.  It worked fine, then stopped for like 2 weeks straight. It's fine again.  Very weird.

University - The one I go to is shit.  I hate it.

Water - I don't drink nearly enough.  I tried drinking the reccomended 2L a day, and I couldn't sop peeing.

And I'm too lazy to talk about work, writing, and zombies.  I'm sure you can all come up with you're own ideas about what I would say.

I have more to say, but I'm too tired to put the necessary level of thought into it, so this will have to be the end for now.

Word Count for this post = 1604
Total November word count = 25,178

13th of November: UNI IS OVER

 As you can tell from the title, uni is over for the year.  Thank god!  I'm so happy, but it hasn't sunk in yet.  I can't get used to the feeling of being able to do what I want without feeling guilty about not studying.  Earlier, I was thinking "Man, I wish I could play the ps3", and then I realised there's absolutely nothing stopping me, and I move on without playing the PS3 anyway.

 I don't really have a planned topic for today, since I'm running out of creativity and privacy to think about stuff.  So, to get my word count up, I googled "random questions to ask people", and I'll answer them.  Hopefull it will inspire me .





Do you remember your favorite teacher?  - I didn't really have one.  The ones that liked me were quite tough, and I never did my homework, so I didn't like them that much.  They saw straight through me.  At uni though, I had a lecturer last semester that was awesome.  He taught sociology, and he was a total hippy.  He wore tie-dye shirts all the time, and did all this other hippy stuff I can't be bothered explaining.  He's like the local news station's go-to guy for an "expert authority" so he's on the news pretty much every night.  It was funny seeing him the first few times, but now my parents even recognise him.

Which is your favourite cereal and why?  - Not a big fan of cereal.  Actually, I am, I fucking love cereal.  But I'm too lazy to eat a real breakfast most days, cereal takes a lot of prior planning and time management, and I kind of suck at that.  My favourite at the moment is Fruity Bites.  It's like pillow shaped lumps of whatever cereal usually is, and it's filled with a gelatinous substance, kind of like jam.  Sounds a bit gross, but its not.  Eating it makes me thirsty.

 As a side note, the question originally asked "what are your favourite 2 careers and why?"  and I read it wrong and went on about cereal.  So I changed the question, so I don't look like a complete retard.




Which is the hardest thing you ever had to do? - Hmm, I really don't know. Stand up to some shitty friends I guess?


When was the last time you lied and to whom and why? - I don't really remember.  I don't lie that much anymore.  It's more like "temporarily withholding the truth about my performance in anatomy to my parents".

Tell me about something you really regret? - Taking anatomy.  I'm sure I go on about it enough, so I'll spare you. There's not that much else I regret.  That's good I suppose.

Tell me about a mistake you made? - When I used to work at Hungry Jacks (Burger King for you Americans) years ago, an Indian family walked in and ordered.  They wanted 4 burgers, and 4 large drinks.  Because they were Indian, and I was an idiot, I thought they said "rings", not "drinks".  Rings, as in onion rings.  So they waited patiently for like 15 minutes, while I got them their onion rings, which take ages to cook.  And then they told me I got it wrong.  They could have told me 15 minutes earlier, but they didn't.  Oh well. 

Tell me about someone in your family? - I'll tell you about someone in my family I haven't mentioned yet.  My older sister Alyce.  She's 23, or 24, I don't remember. She was born as a perfectly normal baby, but when getting her triple antigen injections (which were compulsory at the time I believe), she had a terrible reaction, and since then, she's been special needs.  There's no real term for it, since doctors refused to accept that it was their fault.  So she's classified as "intellectually disabled".  That means she can't talk too well, usually she can get her point across, but sometimes not, and it's annoying as hell.  When you ask her how old she is, she tells you whatever number comes into her head.  Usually 4.  So that's why I don't remember her age. She can be taught to do somethings, like using the key to unlock the house, but other not things, like checking for cars before crossing the road. She also doesn't get the concept of personal space, and she walks wherever she wants.  At 7pm on the dot, she's stripped off in the bathroom, screaming for mum to shower her.  She does this regardless of who else is in the house.  Many a time, visitors (including my boyfriend, several times) have walked into our living room, and were treated with the sight of my overweight, special needs sister naked with a shower cap on her head. 

She's finished school now, and she goes to this place with carers and other disabled people, and I really don't like her going there.  They steal her money, and teach her bad habits.  She's learned to call me "a shit" when I piss her off.  As in, "Megan, you're a shit!". And when I call her Oscar, and ask her if she's a boy or a girl, she usually hits me, pretty damn hard. 


Tell me about someone you envy? - I envy anyone who can fit into the average costume at a costume shop.  Those things are tiny.  And my ass is not.  And I have a lot of friends with costume party fetishes.

Tell me about something you've achieved? - I finished my first year of uni today :)

Tell me about the worst punishment you had when you were a child? - Public humiliation at the hands of a teacher?  I don't even remember what I did, but the relief teacher wouldn't let me go to the toilet (I had my period, and it was getting rather unpleasant).  I told her I'd explain it to her at lunch time, as long as she let me go.  She didn't, and by the time I did leave, it was too late.  Red all over my pants, all over the chair I was sitting on, and I just ran to the office crying, and I went home that day.  Apparently, my friend had a massive fight with her about it after I left.  The teacher wouldn't believe my friend either (what the hell, the evidence was freaking everywhere), and made her clean it up as punishment.  After that day, I only had her once, and she recognised me well enough to swap classes with another teacher that day.  I hope she learned something from that day.

Tell me about someone you really admire? - I admire people who can stick to diets.

Tell me about the last movie you've watched? -  I don't even remember last time I watched a movie.  I've been too busy.  I think it may have been 17 Again, with Zac Efron in it. It was on the external hard drive of movies my BF left at my place, and I went through, looking at random movies.  It wasn't that bad.  I expected it to be worse.


Tell me about a country you would like to visit most and why? - America.  Because it seems awesome.  Anywhere in Europe.  Anywhere, actually. 

Tell me about your favourite music / song / band? - I can't be bothered talking about my favourite band, but look up the song "Hey Leonardo" by Blessid Union of Souls.  It's an awesome song.

Tell me about something you would happily do again? - I'm tempted to say "go on another cruise ship".  I like the cruise ship, and I like going to different places, but I don't like the "stuck in the middle of the ocean" bit.  I can look past that though, if I'm on a cruise ship.

Name your 5 favorite foods? - 1= Avocado.     2= Chicken.   3= Prawns (if they're done properly)   4= Chocolate.    5= Spaghetti?


Do you like to shop? - YESSSSSSS

How often do you go online? - Whenever I'm not sleeping, working, or doing something important.  Kind of sad.

Something or someone you miss the most from childhood? - Not having to worry.

Are you usually late, early or right on time? - Usually early, unless it's work, and then I'm late because mum insists that everyone come to drop me off.  Especially if they don't want to go.  She fights with them until they do, even if it makes me 10 minutes late.

Are you happy with your life for the most part right now? - I guess so.

You can have one of the following two things: trust/love? - I guess I choose love.  Right now, I lack trust in others, which prevents me from loving them.  If I had love, I wouldn't need trust, because I would love them enough to forgive them for anything.


Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? - Considering the fact that I'm the most reliable person I know, HELL YES.

Your best friend dies, what would you do? - Wonder who my best friend is.  I don't really have one.

When and how was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt? - About what?  I'm usually honest about how I feel, but it's never really a deep and meaningful conversation.

What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back? - I'm not sure, since I've never really been in either situation.  Probably to tell them I don't love them back.  I've had to turn down a few guys in the past, and I still feel bad when I see them and talk to them.  It wasn't like hardcore love or anything though.

What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up on? - Junk food.

Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? - Since I don't really know CPR well enough to do it on anyone, no.

Are you old fashioned? - In some ways, I guess.

Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a heart break or have never loved before? - All true love ends in heart break, because one of you has to die sometime.  And if I never love, does that mean I can't give/recieve affection, or just the true love/lifetime/soulmates kind of love?

If you could do anything OR wish for anything that would come true, what would you wish? - I wish I could have a loophole-free time machine that creates no paradoxes, and does not cause any problems for me.

Whats your middle name? - Peta.

How big is your bed? - I think it's a king/queen single.  I don't know, or care.  I'm not fat enough for a double yet.

What music are you listening to right now? - It's not music, but my ceiling fan.

What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number? - 7930

What was the last thing you ate? -  Dinner.  Which was KFC.

Who was the last person you hugged? - Probably the BF.  I'm not into hugging.

How is the weather right now? - Pretty damn good.  I'm inside though, so who cares?

Word count for this post = 1888

November total = 23, 574

Empty Fridge Space.

Empty fridge space would be nice right now.  I don't know about you, but seeing a packed fridge makes me anxious.  It means that something is happening.  Someone is coming.  The Cleaning Nazi is stirring from its slumber, preparing to unleash its fury on to a poor little Meeg-Meeg.

Saturday, 21st of August, it did.

It was kind of expected, since that happened to be the day of my 18th birthday gathering at my house.  As you may have previously realised, I kinda/sorta/maybe/probably/DEFINATELY have a problem with people being in my house.  But I have to seem like a normal person every once in a while, so I usually do stuff around my birthday.

When there's large numbers of people coming to your house, you gotta feed 'em.  Hence the sudden need for fridge space.  Its full of food purchased to fill someone else's stomach, and none for the inhabitants of the house.  Unfortunately, I fall under the "inhabitant" category.

Other than the food, the gathering was a moderate success. Sort of.  I just kept repeating to myself "As long as the close friends turn up, it wasn't a complete waste of time".  Well, most of the close friends turned up.  But that wasn't enough.  I feel a bit let down, and also a bit selfish for being let down.  It led to me being pretty miserable and tired all night.  The mood lifted slightly when stuff started catching on fire.  Nothing serious though.

Since the "party" was a failure, I thought, "well, going into town should be fun".  Seeing as though people have been harassing me about how awesomely amazing it is and how they go out every weekend and I'm missing out in the greatest thing ever and they're so excited that I'll be able to go and oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god town boys drinking awesome awesome oh my god wasting money eighteen boys dance oh my god.  So, yeah.  I cop this pretty much every day for a few month, and now that it's here, what do I get?  No money don't feel like drinking it's overrated town sucks I thought you were more mature than that they spike you're drinks you're dressing like a prostitute waste of money don't you have anything better to do you're going to fail uni now blah blah blah blah.


I don't know what to think anymore.  So I think I'll just talk about something else that  doesn't make me so angry.  Like psychology... Wait.


I've been trying to revise for my mid-semester psych exam.  Its not working too well.  Week 1 and 2 was the same as week 1 and 2 from last semester, so one would think that I already know it.   I'd think that too.  But I just get the feeling that I haven't done enough, and I don't know anything about this subject that I've been doing for 6 months longer than most of my peers.  Week 3 and 4 is a new-ish topic, which was sort of covered in senior high school biology.  Once again, I don't know if I know enough to do an exam on it.

There's a website you can sign up to and do chapter reviews and quizzes and stuff.  It makes me angry.  Like everything in psychology, its all very vague and difficult to navigate and I'm pretty sure its some sort of trap.   Especially when it tells me stuff like "Sorry, that was correct".

Everything in psychology is a trap.  EVERYTHING.  In like week 2 of last semester, they presented us with a "fun" tutorial exercise about how a experiment is done.  Five weeks later: BAM.  You know that "fun" thing we did a million years ago?  No?  Well, that's good.  We need a 1500 word lab report on it.  You don't know what a lab report is?  Even better!  You can add that to your list of stuff to learn.

You know what else makes me angry? Y'know how I was all angry about the Father trying to read over my shoulder?  Now, the Mother is hanging around, pretending to do stuff to read over my shoulder and/or steal the computer.  She can't do that.  I'm stressed as hell, thanks to her.  She sees that I'm clearly doing something, and offers to take me out to buy whatever junk food I want.  I clearly can't take her up on her offer, because I have to study, and I can't neglect it to stuff my face with junk.  If I did, she'd make all sorts of comments on how big my thighs are.

She can fucking leave me alone or I'll punch something in the throat.  Funnily enough, the more she hovers, the closer her throat is to punching range.

 I want to go for a drive.  Meaning, I want to just sit in the back of a moving car for hours at a time, just listening to music.  Being in cars and eating are the only 2 things in life that make me feel better, since everything else in life is an utter disappointment. And I can't do either without being called a selfish money waster.  Oh well.

I'm getting this awful feeling inside me now.  Lately, I've been constantly hungry, even after I just ate.  I don't know why, but the feeling is constant.  Normally, I just eat out of boredom or some sort of emotional pain.  But now, its out of physical hunger pains.  My stomach has been making sounds louder than my normal speaking voice.  That's a bit worrying.

Right now, its not hunger.  It's just discomfort.  This, coupled with the stress of tomorrow's exams, the disappointment of the weekend, and a lifetime of expectations that I can't live up to, makes me pretty damn unhappy right now. 

Out of curiosity, I just did a word count.  Nearly 1000 words.  Why can't I do this for assignments?  Just sit down and type and type and produce something that will get me through to the next semester, like this will hopefully get me through the night.

That's the worst part of these moods.  I know that all I need to do is get through the night.  But it always feels like I'll never make it.  The only person I want to talk to right now isn't available for talking, and they don't give a damn anyway.

I think I should just stop now and go back to raging at Darwin's theory of Giving Undergrads Unnecessary Amounts of Study.

First attempt at a blog.

Rather than do my uni assignment, I have instead decided to create a blog.  I'm willing to bet any amount of money that the password is forgotten in a week.  In fact, I may have forgotten it already.

With impeccable timing,  my father looks over his shoulder and asks "What the fuck is a dynamic bicycle?"  Good question.  A dynamic bicycle is the result of a random word generator being abused by a bored blog-creator.

Trivia time:
1.  The blog creator is a student of psychology at a terrible university.

2.  People assume that psychology students know a lot more than they actually do.  I am constantly hearing "Come on, psychologist!"  No, fuck off.  I'm not shouldering the responsibility of a psychologist until I've at least graduated.  I haven't even finished my first year.

3.  My psych tutor is a fool.  Don't try to teach people something you don't know yourself.  Especially if your students have enough knowledge on the topic to correct you.

4.  Psychology brings out my inner rage.  Probably not the best career choice.

5.  Psychology makes me hungry.  Damn classical conditioning.  I've learned to associate psychology lectures with dinner because of last semester's timetable.  Now I'm screwed.

6.  My original career choice in grade 3 was to be a solicitor.  I clearly had no idea what it was.  Come to think of it, I still don't.

7.  Next choice,  marine biologist.  I had no idea what that was either.  Lucky I didn't stick to it, because I am now terrified of the ocean.

8.  When I realised how boring marine biology is, I turned my aspirations to writing.  I still intend to do it one day... Maybe tomorrow.

9.  My father is still harassing me about what a dynamic bicycle is.  I settled for "a website".

10. My train of thought has been obliterated.  I didn't know where it was going anyway.

11.  People keep inviting me over their houses.  They don't get it.  If I have a choice of being at my house or yours, obviously I choose mine. That's why I live there, and not with you.  "But that's socialising for you!"  You may say.  No, just no.

12.  I don't come to your house, so please don't come to mine.  I don't care how much time we spend together outside of our homes, you can't come in.  It may seem rude,  but if you saw the amount of cleaning my family has to do before visitors come, you would tell your favourite people in the world to fuck off too.

13.  My mother turns into the cleaning Nazi if visitors come.  Every room of the house is immaculate,  the dog's hump rag has to be shaken out, the fucking ceiling has to be dusted and wiped with a damp cloth.  I'm not even kidding.  Even if someone is just using our toilet before they go on their merry way.  This is why I rage so hard when I see people with messy houses.  Did the cleaning Nazi attack you?  No?  Well, maybe they should, and it will give me a break for once.

14.  Do blogs have a word limit?  I'm tempted to see how long I can go for.

15.  I'm all pissed off now.  Now I'm rage-eating.  Actually, if rage makes me hungry,  that might explain why psychology makes me hungry.

16.  I kind of have rage issues.  Notice, I'm not "annoyed" or "angry"... Its rage.  Pure, uncensored, 100% rage.  Its probably quite entertaining, unless you're on the receiving end.

17.  My rage-food is making me feel better.  Seeing my father in the corner of my eye, isn't.  This entire night has just been an epic battle between my parents and I.  Starting with me announcing that I was staying home tonight.  One of them said "don't you use your reverse pychology on us!"  And it was ON.  Claws came out, and it somehow ended up as yet another screaming match about a certain friend of mine who I was apparently sneaking out to meet.  Right,  that's precisely why I told you I was staying home.  So I could make sneaking out more difficult for myself.  Maternal-Unit went to a movie, and called Paternal-Unit later to subtly check that I was still home.  To her horror, I answered the phone.

18.  I'm 18 in a week.  Which is awesome.  I've heard so many conflicting views about being 18, and I don't know what to think anymore.  Some people are all "OMG BEST THING EVER"  and other people are like  "Its awful, I hate it".

19.  Maternal-Unit is home.  Time to end this before she asks what a dynamic bicycle is.