The party (or rather, the horrific natural disaster) is over now. Lots of pics and videos.

Cyclone Yasi is over, and North Queensland is slowly getting back to normal. I'll start at the start.

Morning of Wednesday 2/2/11 = I was woken up by Dad, who told me that we would start feeling the effects of the cyclone within 3 hours.  He was right.  By about 10 in the morning, wind speeds were apparently around 40kph (25mph).  The sky was pretty dark, and my family was rushing around cleaning the yard and moving all of the garden ornaments and stuff.  My parents did a dump run, and left me to tape up all of the glass windows and doors.  While I was doing that, some random guy was on the news, telling us that the cyclone was category 5 (the most destructive category) and that our shelters only withstand cat. 3, so basically, we're all fucked.  He also said there was no point in taping windows, and no matter how much you try to protect your children, they will die anyway.  I was pretty damn angry at this guy, and the TV station for allowing this dickwad to stir people up.  If a place is preparing for a natural disaster, DO NOT TELL THEM THEIR KIDS ARE GUARANTEED TO DIE.   That's not very nice at all.  It's seriously the last thing people want to hear.  So I sat there, outraged with a roll of masking tape in my hands. I finished the windows and my parents came home.  I'll skip over midday, where my dog decided to be a naughty little shit and make everyone angry.  The video below is our backyard at midday, 12 hours before it hit.

Late afternoon of Wednesday 2/2/11 = The house was clean, important stuff was moved off the floor in case of flooding.  We were about as ready as we could get.  We decide to go for a drive around town, to see how well other places were prepared (stupid idea, I know.  But we were bored shitless!).  We got down to the beach, and the rain started.  We got a phone call from my Dad's cousin saying that her and her son were scared and wanted to stay overnight, and that they were leaving their house now.  So we went back home, and the cyclone was really starting to pick up.

Around 7pm on Wednesday 2/2/11 = We had found that all the wind was blowing onto one side of the house, so we closed the windows, and sat out on the patio and watched the storm.  Surprisingly, it seemed to be all wind and hardly any rain, which is kind of bizzare.  Typically, cyclones have destructive winds that rip off ceilings, then the rain gets in and destroys your stuff.  This time, it was mostly wind, and very light rain.  The news kept us updated on the speed of the cyclone itself, and the time that it was supposed to reach land got later and later,  which is bad news.  The slower a cyclone goes, the more intense it is.  Originally, it was supposed to be 9pm, coinciding with the high tide.  Then it was 11pm, then the news was saying midnight.


10:30pm on Wednesday 2/2/11 = We lost all power.  Since it was so late, and most places already lost power hours before, we assumed ours would last until we fell asleep.  So of course, we didn't have our radios, torches or candles ready when we finally lost it.  The first 2 minutes of blackout was a desperate scramble for something that emitted light.  When we found torches, we realised the radio batteries didn't work.  So we dug through our cupboards, and eventually found six C batteries.  We lit some candles, and sat around listening to the radio.  Towards midnight, something happened and the radio signal became a bit jumbled.  We picked up four different stations at once, and none of them were giving information.  We turned it off, and attempted to sleep.  The attempt wasn't very good.

1:23am on Thursday 3/2/11 (3rd of Feb for you Americans) = This is when the strongest winds were recorded.  I distinctly remember waking up to a very, very loud noise.  I checked the time, and looked on facebook to see how other people were doing.  Apparently, other people were also woken up by the noise of the winds, and some people were listening to stuff getting dragged across their roof.  A few days later, we bought the paper and it specifically mentioned this exact time as being the strongest point of the storm for Townsville.  Wind speeds were recorded at 130kph (80mph).  When I looked out my window, all I could see was the tree in the neighbours yard bending over and hitting my window (it's an incredibly flexible tree). Due to the lack of power and fans, I tried to sleep on top of my bed covers, but I decided to put my sheets over my legs because if the tree went through my window, I'd get a body full of glass, and that's not very nice.  So I suffered through the night with a closed window, no fans, and a tree tapping on my window next to my bed.

9am on Thursday 3/2/11 = I went out to survey the damage, and I took a video.  In total, 6 trees out of the ground.  One tree broken in half but still upright, as well as two broken gates.  The metal bolt thing broke off one of them, so it was wide open and flapping around in the wind.  On the other side, we lost a fence paling, which created a gap big enough for my dog to get through, as you see in the video.   I stopped filming because he ran straight onto the road and got attacked by much bigger dogs, who I had to rescue him from.  Notice the winds, still strong 9 hours after the cyclone crossed the coast.

8pm on Thursday 3/2/11 =Still no power, cooking by candlelight.  We lived like this with no power for about a day and a half, which wasn't too bad.

That's about it for my story, since after this it was all clean-up.  I'll put up some pictures from around the city.  The first one is just around the corner from my house.  30+ trees were taken out, all laying on the road and footpaths.

Below is a massive palm tree being held up by a power line. Very dangerous.

The weir near my house, and right next to a tavern. This isn't too bad compared to some of the other floods and stuff we've had, but look at that poor tree on the left :(

Another massive fallen tree covering the road.

Another suburb where most of the trees were upturned, with the roots facing the road.

KFC lost their rotating bucket.

The icecream place right on the beach boarded up their windows.  There were other signs about town saying stuff like "Kiss My Yasi".

Another view of that tree on the powerline.

As I get more photos, I'll keep adding them in new posts.

There's something living in my roof.

Before I start, I'd just like to explain my absence from blogging as much as I used to.  For some reason, my computer hates the Blogger website.  It just DOES NOT WORK.  And just as I type this, I notice my stats page is working again, for the first time in 3 months.  Weird.  It's like it knows I'm trying to complain about it, so it makes me look like an idiot.  I'm also pretty sure I said I was going to change my layout.  I tried, but it wouldn't let me.  I'll try again today.

Here's an update on my life:

1.  I no longer have a job.  Really, I'm still employed there, but I haven't been given any hours since Boxing Day.  I'm down to about $300 in my bank account, and I'm trying to keep that for phone bills only.  If I don't get another job in the next 3 months, I'm fucked beyond belief.  I've resorted to scavenging coins from my drawers/closet etc.  I took everything I found to the bank, and dumped it in their coin counting machine.  I had $40 worth of silver coins (silver coins are below a dollar in value, so I had a shitload of coins).  I've been applying for jobs, and the one I'm hoping to get had it's applications close yesterday.  So hopefully, I hear something next week.

While searching for a job, I've been considering "alternative" careers, such as a Hungry Jacks (The Australian Burger King) Bandit, Wet T-Shirt Competition Queen, and selling out-of-date Ritalin tablets to addicts.  All of these could net me at least $1000 within a month, but there's the whole illegal and/or "come back and bite me in the ass" factors to juggle.  So, I'm going to stick with the normal job application process, and suffer out being broke for a while.

It may be bad for my mental health though, because the pressure to find a job is unbelievable.  The Cleaning Nazi has been pushing me about having money to pay the phone bill, and getting a job so I'm not so fat and lazy at home.  My friends have organized this big trip, and I agreed to be in on it about a day before I had been officially told I was no longer going to get shifts.  So, if they can't find anyone else to take my ticket, I'm going to be selling it on eBay, along with most of my other possessions.  I have a list of stuff I'm going to sell if I'm desperate.  And no, my body is not on there.  I also have some debts to collect.  About $75 from the Cleaning Nazi, because of those "If I buy it can you pay me back" deals I'm always making.  And roughly $30 from the BF, but since he only gets paid once in a blue moon due to being new at his job, I doubt I'll see it any time soon.

Unfortunately, when I'm under pressure about certain things, I stress about it.  Then I become obsessed.  Then I cry in the shower.  Then I have a public meltdown.  Then, the next step is psychotic break, I presume.  Just a warning, if I lose touch with reality, it's just because of money.  I'm only temporarily crazy.

2.  I can't remember if I've blogged about this before, but I've been having phone trouble.  It was turning off, deleting my stuff, not reading my memory card etc etc.  Basically being a piece of shit.  I've been trying to get the plan cancelled, but Telstra keeps saying they need to SEE the problem before they can cancel it.  Now that they've SEEN the problem, they have to email everyone under the sun before they can cancel it.  Now that they've run out of people to email, they've decided they're just going to string me along for 6 months until my contract runs out.  I suppose it's OK, because even if I did cancel the plan, I couldn't sign up for a new one due to my financial circumstances.  I really do want a new phone though, but I just can't do it right now.

3.  I still have a month of nothingness until uni starts.  I've been obsessively checking the bookshop website to see when textbook lists were updated.  They weren't, so I just went in there anyway, and got the parental units to buy my books for me.  Now I've done the first week's worth of study for all my subjects, and I don't want to be too far ahead, so I've stopped.  This semester, I'm doing Statistics, Brain and Behaviour, Learning and Behaviour, and Health Psychology.  I'm excited, but I think it's only because it means I have something to do with my life.

4.  Since I'm about a month ahead on uni, I've been doing my usual "I'm going crazy with boredom" routine I do every year.  It's strange.  It starts with Christmas, where I'm stressed out beyond belief due to work.  Then it's New Years Eve, where a lot of alcohol is consumed.  Then nothing.  Everyone's broke, and no one wants to do anything due to a lack of money.  Then I do all my uni work early.  Then when I finish, I start playing Pokemon games on my Gameboy Advance (it's about 10 years old now).  I want to buy a DS so I can play the new Pokemon games, but considering my lack of money, spending $300 on a DS is taking the Pokemon thing A LITTLE BIT TOO FAR.  So I'll be content with my GBA and Pokemon Crystal.  Then, when the Pokemon thing get's old, I start watching TV shows, several seasons within about 2 weeks.

One year, it was Seinfeld.  Another year it was Supernatural.  Another year it was My So-Called Life (90s teen drama).  This year, it's Community.  And luckily for me, I started watching at the right time.  I watched the first season, and half of the second season.  Right as I finished that, I found out the show was on an 8 week holiday break, and it started back on the 20th of January.  So, I didn't have to tolerate the 8 weeks of nothingness like other Community fans had to.  But now that I've caught up, I have to wait a week for every new episode like the rest of the world does.  And that sucks.  I saw a group on facebook that fits my situation.  I can't find the exact title, but it's something like "Finishing an entire TV series, then wondering what to do with your life".

Then, while the Pokemon/TV thing is happening, a friend of mine announces suddenly that they're moving away, and not coming back any time soon.  Then we all frantically arrange to do something, and it all falls through until there's some last minute plan that saves the day.  My friend Alice has decided to move to Brisbane for uni, and she leaves on Monday.  Today is Saturday, and we haven't got a solid plan yet.  Right now, it's looking like a dinner and movies night tonight at another friend's house.  I hope this happens, because it means I have something to do with my life for a small period of time, even if it's to celebrate one of my best friends leaving.

5.  I need to go to a doctor.  This might get a bit too TMI if I go into detail, but it's digestion related.  And it fucking hurts.  I've booked into a doctor, and hopefully there's something that can be done about it.

6.  There's something living in the roof.  It's a rat or a possum or something.  Or, as I like to think, my evil twin begging to be let out.  But  after my restless sleep due to being sick, I woke up this morning very tired, and very pissed off.  There was this weird scratching noise.  I checked if it was my blinds grating against the wall. Nope.  The dog scratching at his bed outside my window? Nope.  I even went into the next room to see if the Cleaning Nazi was doing something to the other side of the wall.  Not that either.  I went back to my room, and concentrated.  It was definitely coming from the corner of my room, where the wall meets the roof.  I decided it was time to get a second opinion.  I went into Dad's room, and he was fast asleep.  The Cleaning Nazi saw me walking around, and asked what was wrong.  We both went into my room, and sat on the bed.  When we turned the ceiling fan off, the noise stopped for a minute, and I began to fear it was the onset of a psychotic break where I was hallucinating.  But no, it started again, and it was definitely coming from the roof.     We opened the manhole thing that leads to the roof. and checked it out with a torch.  Nothing was sighted, but all our ducted aircon and insulation has been chewed on.  Then I realised how horrific it would be if there was a rat in the aircon.  It would mean that if it chewed through the pipes, it could drop into any room of the house without warning.  So I refused to go back to bed in case a rat fell on me.  I tried to watch a movie with my sister, but I felt too shitty, and just went back to bed.  I haven't heard any scratching again, but I heard a screeching noise earlier.  It may have been something else though, so I don't know.  I just know that I don't want it anywhere near me.


Well, that's about everything that's been happening in my life right now.  I'll try and keep you updated on my visit to the doctors, as well as this thing in the roof that's terrorizing me.  Also, I finally updated the layout.  I hope it's not too hard to read.

Last Night's Dream.

Now, normally my dreams don't bother me.  I have pretty average dreams, like a jumble of the events and thoughts from that day.  Like, I bought face wash once and I had a dream about it.  That sort of thing.  But last night's dream was a bit different, because it sort of means something to me.  And not in the way that I had to use a dream dictionary and pull out some ridiculous Freudian interpretation.  I woke up and thought it was a nightmare, for reasons that I will detail later.  But the more I thought about it, I realised I was actually the bad guy in my dream, and I realised the effect that my real life actions may be having on other people, even if my subconscious presented it to me in an exaggerated fashion.

I realise I may be completely wrong about this interpretation, but it doesn't hurt if I change my ways for the better because of it.

Now, there's quite a few aspects to this dream, but from what I remember, there were 3 main parts.  They mostly revolve around me, my boyfriend, and a select few friends.

The first part I remember is that I was in a lounge room, on a couch with some friends.  We had guns, and we were shooting people rather nonchalantly.  We saw them as the bad guys attacking us, so we had no problem with these bodies piling up around us.  Then the boyfriend comes towards us.  He's not angry or anything, but I shoot at him anyway.  He still doesn't get angry, and I keep shooting until I rum out of bullets.  By now, he has a massive hole in his chest.  Right in the middle.  A big, gaping hole right through him where his heart should be.  It doesn't bleed, and he's still not angry at me.  My friends chuck a few insults his way, and he comes a bit closer.  Of course, we're terrified.   I thought he was going to hurt me, that he wanted revenge because I put a hole in him, or maybe I just made it bigger?

But he didn't get revenge on me.  He took me by the hand, and we went to the movies.  Some different friends were there, and they told us they were seeing a different movie, but they were in the same cinema, sitting next to us.  Some women sat behind us, and my friends were talking to them about the movie they were going to watch.  They mentioned the name of it: "Differentiate".  It's a ridiculous name for a movie, but that's what it was.  So my friends are chatting away, the boyfriend is sitting there happily and quietly, still with a hole in his chest, while I'm crapping myself, thinking he's going to kill me any second.

I don't remember exactly what happened next, but the dream changes settings.  I'm with the BF on a grassy hill.  There's heaps of people around, like there's a concert or something going to happen.  We're sitting there, and he's just talking casually with me.  I ask him if he's angry at me, and he couldn't understand why he would be.  I'm still terrified.

It changes again, and it's night time now.  I'm in a car with people, I don't know who, and I don't recognise the car at all, but in the dream it seemed normal to me.  We were going to a water tower, or some sort of man-made structure.  I think it was near a farm or something, but we were trespassing on someone's property, just to carve a message onto this wooden tower thing.  I don't remember the message or anything, but it had something to do with graduation.

The rest of the dream is fuzzy, but I went to different places, carving a message into things.  The whole time I was worrying about the BF, and what he was going to do.

When I woke up, I was still terrified.  Not of my boyfriend, but the fact that my subconscious could generate feelings of terror at his image.  I don't want to be scared of him. It's the opposite, I want to be with him as much as possible.  So why was I dreaming about this?

I originally took it at face value, that I dreamed about shooting people, and them having ridiculous injuries.  I googled "hole in my chest dream interpretation" and nothing came up. I kept thinking about it.  Normally I don't bother thinking about something apparently meaningless, but the emotions I felt that lingered after I woke up were really disturbing me.  So I thought about it.


Now, you may need a bit of backstory for this part, but it's kind of personal, so I won't go into depth.  Anyway, my boyfriend isn't the most emotional person.  There's a reason for that, but it creeps people out so you don't need to know.  But he's not as deeply affected by emotions as other people.  His mother died almost exactly a year ago, and from what I saw, there wasn't much of a grieving process.  He told me he didn't even cry at her funeral.  But I'm thinking (I haven't spoken to him about this, just my thoughts) that the emotions are there, but they're just internalized.  So it's not that he doesn't have them, he just doesn't show it.  And that's what the hole in the chest is about.  He has all these emotions eating him away on the inside, and my disregard for his feelings (the bullets from my dreams) is tearing him open until it's all laid bare.  The friend who was helping me shoot him in my dream is also known in my circle of friends as the loud/brutally honest/uncivilized one who speaks her mind.  Especially in relation to my boyfriend.  They tease each other and stuff, but sometimes the things she (and all my friends) says to me about him gets to me.  It goes beyond joking around, and gets quite hurtful, and even if he doesn't know it, and he wouldn't care, it still hurts me.

Anyway, I found it interesting that she was the one there helping me hurt him. 

Hmmm, what else.  I think the movie part was just provoked by the fact that we went to the movies together a few days ago, and that I made him choose, so that I knew we were watching what HE wanted to see (I didn't tell him that I'd already seen it until after we got out).

But it's just little things like that that trip me up.  I forget that even if he doesn't have the same sorts of emotions, he still has likes and dislikes and wants and needs, and I feel absolutely terrible that I've never really thought of him in that way. I haven't done anything bad to him, that I know of.  I haven't hurt his feelings as far as I know, I just haven't really taken them into account.  Just because he hides them, doesn't mean they don't exist.  I feel so bad.  And I think the fear from my dream is not because I think he's going to seek revenge or anything, it's that I'm afraid of what will happen to me when we break up.  I know he won't intentionally hurt me physically, I'm just worried that the pain is going to cause a metaphorical hole in my chest to match his.  He may not intentionally get revenge with malicious intent, it might just happen along the way.

15th of November: I'm behind!

Well, I haven't posted for nearly 2 days now.  That means I'm about 4000 words behind.  Which is terrible.  One I'm in the hole, I don't know if I can find my way out.  A word-hole, of course.

This is the NaNo website's record of my achievements thus far.  Looked pretty damn good until the 13th.  In fact, it looks like it's somehow started going down slightly.

So I haven't really done much in the last few days.  Mostly working.  I've saved up $800, and I only finished uni 2 days ago.  So I'm well on my way to buying a car, as long as I don't do any ridiculously expensive impulse buys.  Like, one time I was buying shampoo or something, and I saw a catalogue while I was in the checkout.  There was an iPod advertised, and quick as a flash, I ran off and bought a new iPod touch.  This was a while ago, mind you.  I haven't done anything that silly in a while.

Change of topic right about now.

For the month of November, I have this massive list of blog topics, so I could write about this stuff, and not be desperately reaching like I am now.  The thing is, I honestly can not be fucked to do it.  I don't even want to look at the list.   Instead, I turn to my list of labels (basically rehashing shit I've already spoken about before on here).

Accents - It's always so easy to tell when a band/singer on the radio is Australian.  They have this ridiculous accent.  It somehow becomes more noticeable when singing.  As an example, look up the song "Revolution" by The Veronicas.

Alcohol - I'm going alcohol shopping tomorrow.  We have a store here called Dan Murphy's.  It's basically an alcoholic grocery store.  It's awesome, and overpriced, but so is all alcohol.  Anyway, tomorrow is cheap Tuesday, or Cheuesday, as I have previously referred to it as.   This means that my friends will accompany me to the local nightclubs, and we shall become incredibly intoxicated.  In theory.  I also have a dentist appointment, so we'll see how that goes before I start drinking.

Aliens - A friend of mine says that my bf could never shave his head, in case of an alien invasion.  She thinks that the aliens will take him home with them, mistaking him for one of their own.

Allergies - Despite my allergy to honey, I tried to eat a cereal composed of mostly honey and wheat.  It wasn't too bad.  It tasted like honey, but without the swelling and itchyness.

Anatomy - I still don't have my results back yet.  Makes me sad.  I'm sure the results will make me even more sad.

Anosmia - I attempted to make hamburger patties.  When I cooked them, Dad ran out asking what that smell was.  That smell was the patties.  Because they were a year old...

Assignments - Even if my uni is over, I still continue this personal assignment of 50,000 words. Idiot.

Australia - See accents.

Birthday - It was such a massive build up to all my friends turning 18, and now some of them are nearly 19.  Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but it's been ages since everyone's birthdays.\

Blogging - I blog enough about blogging.  I don't need more.

Celebrities - Not really related, but I was watching Beauty and the Geek the other day, and it was the makeover episode, where they all shave their neck beards and take off their COD shirts, and put on normal clothes.  The first guy to come out looked idiotic.  The people on the show turned him from a nerd, to a tracksuit wearing, bleach blonde wigger.  His hair was white.  From behind, he looked like an old man in a tracksuit going for a run.  2 of the other guys though, actually ended up REALLY hot!  Like, one of them looked amazing.  Like, he could easily be a model/actor.  And the other guy had really long hair and a beard, and when it was cut off, he was hot too.  Not like in-your-face "hit it and quit it" hot like the other one, more like a "I could marry a guy like this" kind of hot.  Which isn't bad at all.

Childhood - I try to block it out.

Christmas - Not long now.  They'll start playing Christmas carols at work any day now.


Cleaning Nazi - Today, she came home and agreed to take me to the boyfriend's house.  I told him I'd be there at 4pm.  The Cleaning Nazi says to me, "Hang on, I'll just clean all the ceiling fans in the house first".  She also doesn't understand why I was annoyed at having to wait for over an hour.  Apparently, she doesn't think that turning up an hour late is rude at all.

Computers - I don't know if I've already blogged about this, but I went to Officeworks and bought a lap-desk.  It's pretty much a flat piece of wood that you can use as a desk.  It has a curvy cut out part so it fits nicely against your stomach.  It also has a cushiony bit on the bottom to make it comfortable on your legs.

Dogs - I'm cuddling my puppy dog right now.  He's being incredibly loud with his groaning and moaning and gremlin noises.

DVDs - I'm considering buying my sister a DVD for Christmas.  Problem is, I don't know what she has and doesn't have.  I'm thinking maybe Beauty and the Beast, she only has it on VHS.

Emotions - Umm.  Emotions got a bit out of hand tonight, when I was at my BF's house.  Simply because of Call of Duty: Black Ops.  I swear, the moment he's not gazing lovingly at it, I'm going to break it.  I already laughed like a maniac when his internet connection dropped out.

Energy drinks - If I have more than one within six hours of eachother.  I have a very interesting reaction.

Exams - Fuck that shit.

Fear - This blog is taking so damn long, simply because I'm discussing Dani-Q's love life with her, and her fear of dying alone and unloved.  I'm also attempting to explain the concept of kissing in nightclubs.  She's not getting it.

Food - I've been eating so much junk food lately.  I feel bad about it but it's so much more convenient that making my own, because I have to constantly watch what I'm cooking, since I can't smell the house burning down.

Hair - My hair is hideous at the moment.  I need to do something with it. After my old hair dresser told me to piss off, I haven't had the time to get my hair done.

Injuries - Apparently, riding a bike while high is a bad idea.  It results in bandaged arms and possible stitches.  Don't worry, it wasn't me.  But I drove past them several minutes before they did it, which I find hilarious.

Love - Such a silly thing.

Magic - I don't remember what post this label was even referring to.  So I don't know what kind of magic I was talking about.

Nightclubs - I've been having a massive D&M with Dani-Q about nightclubs.  It's frustrating.

Party - I haven't been to a decent party in so long.

Patriotism - I patriotism-ed myself out the other day.  I don't even want to think about it.

Psychic - In my post about my visit to a psychic, I mentioned that she said the law would catch up with someone.  They did.  Hard.   Like, fines, possibly a court date, and potential jail time if things go really badly.  It wasn't about stealing though, so she wasn't really right about anything.


Psychology - You know, when I meet people, after they find out I study psychology, they ask me if I can read their mind.  No, no I can't.  I'm a future psychologist, not a psychic.

Stupid People - A friend of a friend added me on facebook.  He's the type who has a really clingy girlfriend, and they break up and get back together all the time.  Like, once a week.  At least.  Not even an exaggeration.  And it's all on facebook.

Tarot Cards - See psychic.

Text Messages - My phone goes weird sometimes, and I don't recieve text messages.  Then, I get them all at once, a few days later.  Last time, I got about 60, mostly facebook notifications.

The Future - I don't even want to think ahead.  Anything past January is unplanned at the moment.

Toys - The list of blog topics I have is mostly talking about toys.  And I don't want to write it.  Those posts are better off for when I've finished work and I'm pissed off about it.

Twitter - Another dodgy phone moment = There's a Twitter application you can download.  It worked fine, then stopped for like 2 weeks straight. It's fine again.  Very weird.

University - The one I go to is shit.  I hate it.

Water - I don't drink nearly enough.  I tried drinking the reccomended 2L a day, and I couldn't sop peeing.

And I'm too lazy to talk about work, writing, and zombies.  I'm sure you can all come up with you're own ideas about what I would say.

I have more to say, but I'm too tired to put the necessary level of thought into it, so this will have to be the end for now.

Word Count for this post = 1604
Total November word count = 25,178

13th of November: UNI IS OVER

 As you can tell from the title, uni is over for the year.  Thank god!  I'm so happy, but it hasn't sunk in yet.  I can't get used to the feeling of being able to do what I want without feeling guilty about not studying.  Earlier, I was thinking "Man, I wish I could play the ps3", and then I realised there's absolutely nothing stopping me, and I move on without playing the PS3 anyway.

 I don't really have a planned topic for today, since I'm running out of creativity and privacy to think about stuff.  So, to get my word count up, I googled "random questions to ask people", and I'll answer them.  Hopefull it will inspire me .





Do you remember your favorite teacher?  - I didn't really have one.  The ones that liked me were quite tough, and I never did my homework, so I didn't like them that much.  They saw straight through me.  At uni though, I had a lecturer last semester that was awesome.  He taught sociology, and he was a total hippy.  He wore tie-dye shirts all the time, and did all this other hippy stuff I can't be bothered explaining.  He's like the local news station's go-to guy for an "expert authority" so he's on the news pretty much every night.  It was funny seeing him the first few times, but now my parents even recognise him.

Which is your favourite cereal and why?  - Not a big fan of cereal.  Actually, I am, I fucking love cereal.  But I'm too lazy to eat a real breakfast most days, cereal takes a lot of prior planning and time management, and I kind of suck at that.  My favourite at the moment is Fruity Bites.  It's like pillow shaped lumps of whatever cereal usually is, and it's filled with a gelatinous substance, kind of like jam.  Sounds a bit gross, but its not.  Eating it makes me thirsty.

 As a side note, the question originally asked "what are your favourite 2 careers and why?"  and I read it wrong and went on about cereal.  So I changed the question, so I don't look like a complete retard.




Which is the hardest thing you ever had to do? - Hmm, I really don't know. Stand up to some shitty friends I guess?


When was the last time you lied and to whom and why? - I don't really remember.  I don't lie that much anymore.  It's more like "temporarily withholding the truth about my performance in anatomy to my parents".

Tell me about something you really regret? - Taking anatomy.  I'm sure I go on about it enough, so I'll spare you. There's not that much else I regret.  That's good I suppose.

Tell me about a mistake you made? - When I used to work at Hungry Jacks (Burger King for you Americans) years ago, an Indian family walked in and ordered.  They wanted 4 burgers, and 4 large drinks.  Because they were Indian, and I was an idiot, I thought they said "rings", not "drinks".  Rings, as in onion rings.  So they waited patiently for like 15 minutes, while I got them their onion rings, which take ages to cook.  And then they told me I got it wrong.  They could have told me 15 minutes earlier, but they didn't.  Oh well. 

Tell me about someone in your family? - I'll tell you about someone in my family I haven't mentioned yet.  My older sister Alyce.  She's 23, or 24, I don't remember. She was born as a perfectly normal baby, but when getting her triple antigen injections (which were compulsory at the time I believe), she had a terrible reaction, and since then, she's been special needs.  There's no real term for it, since doctors refused to accept that it was their fault.  So she's classified as "intellectually disabled".  That means she can't talk too well, usually she can get her point across, but sometimes not, and it's annoying as hell.  When you ask her how old she is, she tells you whatever number comes into her head.  Usually 4.  So that's why I don't remember her age. She can be taught to do somethings, like using the key to unlock the house, but other not things, like checking for cars before crossing the road. She also doesn't get the concept of personal space, and she walks wherever she wants.  At 7pm on the dot, she's stripped off in the bathroom, screaming for mum to shower her.  She does this regardless of who else is in the house.  Many a time, visitors (including my boyfriend, several times) have walked into our living room, and were treated with the sight of my overweight, special needs sister naked with a shower cap on her head. 

She's finished school now, and she goes to this place with carers and other disabled people, and I really don't like her going there.  They steal her money, and teach her bad habits.  She's learned to call me "a shit" when I piss her off.  As in, "Megan, you're a shit!". And when I call her Oscar, and ask her if she's a boy or a girl, she usually hits me, pretty damn hard. 


Tell me about someone you envy? - I envy anyone who can fit into the average costume at a costume shop.  Those things are tiny.  And my ass is not.  And I have a lot of friends with costume party fetishes.

Tell me about something you've achieved? - I finished my first year of uni today :)

Tell me about the worst punishment you had when you were a child? - Public humiliation at the hands of a teacher?  I don't even remember what I did, but the relief teacher wouldn't let me go to the toilet (I had my period, and it was getting rather unpleasant).  I told her I'd explain it to her at lunch time, as long as she let me go.  She didn't, and by the time I did leave, it was too late.  Red all over my pants, all over the chair I was sitting on, and I just ran to the office crying, and I went home that day.  Apparently, my friend had a massive fight with her about it after I left.  The teacher wouldn't believe my friend either (what the hell, the evidence was freaking everywhere), and made her clean it up as punishment.  After that day, I only had her once, and she recognised me well enough to swap classes with another teacher that day.  I hope she learned something from that day.

Tell me about someone you really admire? - I admire people who can stick to diets.

Tell me about the last movie you've watched? -  I don't even remember last time I watched a movie.  I've been too busy.  I think it may have been 17 Again, with Zac Efron in it. It was on the external hard drive of movies my BF left at my place, and I went through, looking at random movies.  It wasn't that bad.  I expected it to be worse.


Tell me about a country you would like to visit most and why? - America.  Because it seems awesome.  Anywhere in Europe.  Anywhere, actually. 

Tell me about your favourite music / song / band? - I can't be bothered talking about my favourite band, but look up the song "Hey Leonardo" by Blessid Union of Souls.  It's an awesome song.

Tell me about something you would happily do again? - I'm tempted to say "go on another cruise ship".  I like the cruise ship, and I like going to different places, but I don't like the "stuck in the middle of the ocean" bit.  I can look past that though, if I'm on a cruise ship.

Name your 5 favorite foods? - 1= Avocado.     2= Chicken.   3= Prawns (if they're done properly)   4= Chocolate.    5= Spaghetti?


Do you like to shop? - YESSSSSSS

How often do you go online? - Whenever I'm not sleeping, working, or doing something important.  Kind of sad.

Something or someone you miss the most from childhood? - Not having to worry.

Are you usually late, early or right on time? - Usually early, unless it's work, and then I'm late because mum insists that everyone come to drop me off.  Especially if they don't want to go.  She fights with them until they do, even if it makes me 10 minutes late.

Are you happy with your life for the most part right now? - I guess so.

You can have one of the following two things: trust/love? - I guess I choose love.  Right now, I lack trust in others, which prevents me from loving them.  If I had love, I wouldn't need trust, because I would love them enough to forgive them for anything.


Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? - Considering the fact that I'm the most reliable person I know, HELL YES.

Your best friend dies, what would you do? - Wonder who my best friend is.  I don't really have one.

When and how was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt? - About what?  I'm usually honest about how I feel, but it's never really a deep and meaningful conversation.

What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back? - I'm not sure, since I've never really been in either situation.  Probably to tell them I don't love them back.  I've had to turn down a few guys in the past, and I still feel bad when I see them and talk to them.  It wasn't like hardcore love or anything though.

What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up on? - Junk food.

Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? - Since I don't really know CPR well enough to do it on anyone, no.

Are you old fashioned? - In some ways, I guess.

Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a heart break or have never loved before? - All true love ends in heart break, because one of you has to die sometime.  And if I never love, does that mean I can't give/recieve affection, or just the true love/lifetime/soulmates kind of love?

If you could do anything OR wish for anything that would come true, what would you wish? - I wish I could have a loophole-free time machine that creates no paradoxes, and does not cause any problems for me.

Whats your middle name? - Peta.

How big is your bed? - I think it's a king/queen single.  I don't know, or care.  I'm not fat enough for a double yet.

What music are you listening to right now? - It's not music, but my ceiling fan.

What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number? - 7930

What was the last thing you ate? -  Dinner.  Which was KFC.

Who was the last person you hugged? - Probably the BF.  I'm not into hugging.

How is the weather right now? - Pretty damn good.  I'm inside though, so who cares?

Word count for this post = 1888

November total = 23, 574

9th of November: Must....Keep...Goingggggg

I really don't want to blog today.  At all.  Unfortunately, I was too tired to continue yesterday, so I'm behind on yesterday too.  Over all, I'm still ahead on my total word count I think, but I'll soon be behind.  I think after today, if I don't make the word count, I'll be behind.

I have my criminology exam today, at 6pm.  Because of this ridiculous time, I had to tell work I couldn't do tonight's night fill shift. So there's a good $70 or so gone from my potential bank account.  Oh well.  I'm still working about 24 hours this week, so I'll be well on my way to saving up for that car.  I'm obviously not looking for a new car, because my price range is around $2000.  Once I drive around an old shitbox for a while, and I get my license and everything, then my parents have promised to buy me a decent car. I don't know if they will, but I'll harrass them anyway.

BUT

There was an interesting discussion last night on Facebook last night, about a certain New Zealand expat/deserter who was bagging out the county she has lived in for about 6 years now.  And as a strong patriot of the country she lives in, I had to blog about it.

NOTE:  As with many things I say, it's not personal at all.  I object to what a person can SAY, not the person themselves.  It's all intended to be in good fun.  Some parts may seem racist, but no harm is intended.  I don't believe that some of Australia's actions against Aborigines were right, but we've been trying to fix it for god knows how long, and it just keeps going.


She started off by talking about how she couldn't enter a competition because she wasn't an Australian citizen.  I'd say that's fair enough.  If they wanted someone from another country to win, they would open the competition to that country, right?

Some comments are made along the lines of "ha ha, suck shit".  She continues on to say that she doesn't want to be an Australian, and she feels sorry for us all.  Now, what the hell.  She's the one who left her country to come to this place.  And I'd like to point out that you only ever hear about people from New Zealand coming to live in Australia, never the other way around.  And the majority of these New Zealanders are taking advantage of our lax immigration laws so they can escape debt. Australians go over there for holidays, then come back after about 2 weeks.  A month at the most. Hmm, I wonder why?

When people start telling her to leave, she backtracks and says its a nice place, with some nice people, but it has no culture.   Now, you can't throw around words like "culture" and expect that everyone agrees with you.

Since I'm lazy and went to wikipedia, here's a few definitions of culture.

The word "culture" is most commonly used in three basic senses:

• Excellence of taste in the fine arts and humanities, also known as high culture
• An integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior that depends upon the capacity for symbolic thought and social learning
• The set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution, organization or group

I know that this particular person is referring to the first definition, and I suppose she has a point there.  But she needs to take into account that our country has only escaped British rule in the last 100 years.  We've had 100 years to form our "high culture" of fine arts, and Europe, which you keep comparing us to, has had got at least 900 years on us.  I don't think any comparison should be made.  Come back in 900 years, then we'll talk.  Considering the fact that we're so far behind on European culture, I'd say we're doing damn well with what we've been given.

Now.  Here's the tricky bit.  As Australians define our "culture", it would be most in tune with the third definition of shared attitudes, values, goals and practices that define us.  In that sense, I don't think there's a single country on Earth that has MORE of a culture than us.  Australian patriotism is unbelieveable.  It's everywhere.  People bag out the guys with Southern Cross tattoos, but you can't deny that it stands for something.  Even if the constellation is visible to the entire southern hemisphere, it's still considered a symbol of Australian patriotism, and of Australia itself, due to all of our Aboriginal stories that incorporate it. 

I think that the backbone of Australian culture comes down to war.  Our country has one of the best armies on the planet.  We may not have the best numbers, but we have the attitudes and mindset for it.  Our soldiers are famous for their efforts at Gallipoli.  Yes, I know that ANZAC stand for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps.  which is exactly why I'm surprised that a New Zealander has the balls to have a go at a country so historically linked to her own.

In case you don't know about the story of Gallipoli, here's a summarised version.  The British sent boatloads of Australian and New Zealander men to land on a certain beach at Gallipoli.  Of course, the British were being complete twats and dumped them on a beach with a massive cliff on it.  And the enemy was on top of the cliff.  With machine guns.  Good job, Brits.  Our soliders failed their mission over all, since they were pretty much slaughtered whilst climbing that cliff.  BUT.  Quite a few survived, and they stuck it out, despite the war conditions (duh), the rampant disease and malnutrition, and the unsurmountable odds.  They eventually got the order to retreat, and they came up with an ingenious plan that meant that their escape was completely unnoticed.  They rigged up some machine guns, and sent out a group to play cricket in an a spot where the enemy could see them.  While they were playing cricket, and the enemy was watching the game, the ANZACs took off.  They packed up their game, and went home.


Since then, the Aussies have always been proud of their war efforts, and the virtues displayed by our soliders is something that all Australians, even now, nearly 100 years later, try to reflect.  Even apart from our history of war, our families all come from labourers, famers, miners, and other kinds of working men.    On my mother's side of the family alone, we have found the stories of several men who embody the sought after characteristics of the Australian man. 

My mother is right into doing family history stuff with my great Aunt, and they've found some interesting stuff.  One guy, I don't remember his name, but he was a soldier.  He went to war, and eventually got kicked out of the army for too much drinking, fighting with other soldiers, and promiscuity (and for having gonorrhea).  Now, how Australian is that?  Another one of my relatives, Albert Vollenweider, discovered copper on Mt. Garnet, and was eventually ripped off by a business man who took all his ownership rights in the 1800s.  Vollenweider's diaries about what he found are still being held by this business man's relatives, who are desperately trying to fend off my great Aunt from getting them back. 

At this point in the thread on Facebook, its a bunch of people having a go at her about how her opinions are based on blogs and the history channel.  Which is entirely true. I'm pretty certain that she too will admit that.

Someone else brings up our history and racism.  What they're referring to is our on-going issues with the Australian Aborigines.  Back when we were still British,  they dumped their convicts here, on a massive desolate rock (which happened to be a great place for farm land, mining and city expansion, with the best beaches in the world, the British clearly didn't think it out too well).  There just so happened to be some native people already here.  What was the response of the British?  Kill the fuckers.

When you're opponents know the land like the back of their hand, it's not always a good idea to kill them all.  Anyway, many spears were thrown, guns were shot, and a lot of people died on both sides.  This continues on, and many different policies were used to try and settle it all down.  It didn't work.  Even today, people still have issues with it all.  Yeah, all right.  The Brits stole your kids and tried to make them live in the British way.  That's kind of because you had 40,000 years (yes, forty thousand years)  in Australia, and you couldn't get your shit together and progress past the tribal stage. 

Now, as for present day racism.  Yes, we do have some issues there.  As do every country in the world.  In Townsville, we have the particular issue of racism against Aborigines.  Now, it's important to note that no one has an issue against the ones with an education, jobs, and a respectable way of presenting themselves.  It's the ones that are drunk, on drugs, with six kids, no job, and they hang around the mall screaming and urinating on bench seats.  It's not because they're black.  It's because they're drunk, on drugs, with six kids, no job, and they hang around the mall screaming and urinating on bench seats.  Regardless of the colour of their skin, anyone who does that is trash.  There was a story in the news paper the other day about an Aboriginal woman who was drunk outside a fancy cafe.  She picked fights with everyone who walked past, until she found another drunk Aboriginal lady.  They proceeded to fight, fall over, strip their clothes off and scream on the ground until they were arrested.  Black or white, that's no way to behave.

Now the Aborigines may be all hung up about the Brits invading their country years ago, but that's no excuse to do what they do.    Are they singling out every single white person and giving them individual pay back for someone else's actions, hundreds of years ago?  Did my mother get attacked by a young Aboriginal kid because she was white?  Did I get sexually assaulted by an Aboriginal man in broad daylight simply because I am on his ancestor's native territory (which is now a busy main road)?  Does that give them the right to do whatever they like, to who ever they like for no apparent reason?

Australians don't hate Aborigines because they're black.  We hate the jobless, drunk, uncivilised, rapists, regardless of race.  The majority of them just happen to be Indigenous.  We hate the white ones just as much.

Another racism issue that happened a few years ago is somewhat similar in result.  The Cronulla race riots.  Even though it may have looked like a Australia vs. Lebanon free-for-all battle royale, originally it was something very different.  It started off when large groups of young men (who just so happened to be Lebanese) began raping and brutally bashing our women, terrorizing our neighbourhoods, and destroying our cities.  Even if they were white, people would go out and stop these monsters, because these sorts of things just aren't cool.  Since the actual perpetrators were Lebanese, the police didn't want to get involved because of racism issues.   So the Aussie guys from that area wanted to stop them instead.

It was originally to go after that particular gang that did all these horrible things.  Then, when the Lebanese community banded together and started burning our flag, in our own country, all hell breaks loose.  After that, any person, Australian or Lebanese, innocent or not, was in danger of being killed.  It's not like it was just Aussies going out and beating up poor little defenceless Lebanese people.  They disrespected our country, our land, our property and our women.  Of course Australians will retaliate.

As for our racism compared to the rest of the world, particularly Europe?  Do I really need to say anything about the Holocaust?  The Crusades?  I'd say those things are far worse than anything Australia can mange.

And of course, there's racist people in every country.  It's not neccessarily racism, but the French are world famous for being intolerant assholes to anyone who doesn't speak French fluently. And Aussies are world famous for how laid-back and nice they are to people of all cultures (unless they're alcoholics, rapists, or flag burners, I'd like to see a country that DOESN'T hate that).

Now, enough about racism.  The image that we're undereducated.  Seriously? 

Watch this, and tell me Australians are the uneducated ones.

Nothing against Americans, of course.  But I'd say that the education problems over there are far worse than anything we have over here. They still manage to be the greatest political power in the world, even with all their issues.

Also, the guy who invented Gardasil, the vaccine that prevents Cervical Cancer, he was an Aussie, you know.  Just throwing that out there.  We can't be too uneducated if we have people who have developed things that prevent cancer!

I'm getting sick of talking about Australia.  I haven't even gone on to the country itself.  Eventually, I'll muster up some more passion and keep on going about this.  For now, I've done today's word count, and I really need to study.

Once again, don't take it personally.  This isn't a serious post.  It's all absolutely true, but I don't intend for it to be taken as something mean, or hurtful.  I'm just defending the country that I love.  But we Australian don't take kindly to foreigners bagging out our country, especially if you've been living in it for years.  It's a given that we're going to dish out a smart-ass, tongue-in-cheek response about our patriotism.

Word count for this post = 2348

Word count total for November = 17, 612

November 7th: Anosmia

I've finally updated yesterday, now I have to start from scratch for today, 7th of November.

I've decided to talk about anosmia - which is the lack of a sense of smell.

This may seem pretty random, but I am in fact anosmic.  Which is pretty much the only reason why I know about it.

Don't get me wrong.  I can enjoy food, and I can taste stuff.  In fact, flavour is 75% smell, and 25% taste.  So when you eat, you're mostly smelling, and I'm just getting all taste.  So in a way, I can taste better than you smelling-people, because I'm not confused by scent.

Somewhat embarrassing life story time!  When I was little, all my friends would completely over react whenever there was a bad smell in the air.  Normal little kid's "OMG EWWW" kind of reaction.  This continued on until I was about 12 or 13.  At this age, I had an experience which is burnt into my brain for many reasons.  There was a girl that was always picked on by people for whatever reason they could find.  She pulled out a permanent marker, which apparently smelled pretty bad.  You know how every classroom had the ADHD ringleader asshole who stirred everyone up?  He decided to go on and on about this smell for about 20 minutes, resulting in everyone in the class walking out because it was so gross.  The only people left in the classroom was me, the girl with the pen, and the teacher who called me a very mature young woman for not picking on the girl.  I wasn't trying to be nice, I just couldn't smell it.  It's interesting, because even now, that girl that was picked on still gets picked on by a lot of people, but she's become a complete bitch and learned to deal with it, by being mean to everyone else.  And that ADHD asshole?  I've been dating him for nearly a year now.  Funny how things turn out. 

When I was sick, I refused to take painkillers because of my throat (another long story), so the parents would either crush it up in honey (before they believed me about the extreme discomfort honey gives me) or they would tell me to block my nose and swallow it.  I never understood this, because it did nothing at all for me.  I now get why they would say that.  Because for normal people, you can't "taste" when your nose is blocked.  Really, you're doing nothing BUT tasting, you just can't smell it. But it didn't work for me :(

Whenever I was sick and didn't feel like eating, my parents would always say, "food never tastes good when you're sick, because you can't taste it".  It always tasted normal to me, but I've seen how badly my family reacts to food when they're sick and they can't "taste" it.  I just laugh at them now.

Also, this bit is a bit gross, but it gives you a clearer picture of what I'm trying to say.  A kid in primary school (elementary, for the Americans) crapped his pants in front of an entire auditorium of 10-year-olds.  Everyone else was grossed out by the smell, which I imagine was putrid by other people's reactions.  The worst part?  Rather than smelling it, I could taste it.  Yeah, that's right.  I can taste it when kids poo their pants.  Isn't that disgusting?






AAAAAAAAAAAANYWAY
  Have a picture to break it up a bit.

This continued on through my life.  I was embarrassed by it.  I thought that I just wasn't doing it right, or I hadn't learned how to smell things.  Or that I had a really weak sense of smell or something.  Either way, it never crossed my mind that I DIDN'T have it.  I didn't think it was possible.

 I think it was about grade 10 or 11, and I was about 15.  Dani-Q probably doesn't realize this, but she was one of the first people who made me take notice of my disability, indirectly, of course.  The conversation wasn't about me at all.  She used the term "mouth-breather" as an insult.  People laughed about it and thought nothing of it.  I thought about it a lot though.  I didn't think that there was anything wrong with breathing through your mouth.  I mean, it's far more efficient, you get more air, faster.  And it's not like there's any benefit to using your nose.  And that's when I realised there WAS a benefit to most people.  That's why it was an insult.  It's like saying their too stupid to use their god-given (it's just a phrase, I'm not being religious) gift of a functioning sense of smell.

I probably was overthinking it WAAAAAAAAAAAY too much, but it made me realise that if I still hadn't worked out how to recognize smells by then, it wasn't going to happen.  I just assumed I was a freak of nature,  that no one else would have it. 

I continued on in life, with my parents and friends testing me out until one by one, they started to believe me.  But people still didn't really believe me, because they hadn't heard of anyone else not having a sense of smell.

I was reading a book one day, last year I think.  I came across a word I'd never seen before, and that doesn't happen too much.  I looked it up, and found out that  the word - anosmic - refers to a lack of the sense of smell.  A  little more research, and I found that there's plenty more people like me.

When its a condition right from birth (or I assume mine is, since I don't remember even having it) it's classified as congenital anosmia, which sounds like an STI.  I think its the "genital" bit.

As my research has indicated, there is no apparent cause, and no cure.  Websites talk a lot about the dangers of no smell, because we can't tell when there's a gas leak (which isn't true, I could TASTE it when the barbecue's gas cylinder was leaking), or when there's a fire, or when food is spoiled. 

I read an article once about how a restaurant had to be evacuated once, because all these people were becoming sick and vomiting and passing out because of a smell.  When people got out their gas masks to check it out, it was just an anosmic kitchen-hand cleaning out the freezer with chemicals.  I laughed at that.

Something else that I DIDN'T laugh at - a man was kicked out of the police force for being anosmic, he couldn't smell drugs or alcohol on a person he was trying to arrest.  I can see why it would be a problem, but I don't think the guy should have LOST HIS JOB because of it.

Another issue with no sense of smell - you can't tell when you smell.  I'm constantly telling my friends that I won't be offended if they tell me I smell, because I won't know otherwise.  This of course, causes issues when I get people to help me buy perfume and deodorant, and this conflicts with someone else's opinions.  I can't make my own decision, so I have to rely on the outcome of their dispute.  Which sucks.

When you look around for information, there's a lot of stories about people "coming out" to their parents about their condition.  It may not seem like a big deal, but parents don't know about their child's condition until the child itself is aware, and the parents usually don't believe their child. 

There's also a type of anosmia which happens after an illness, or a blow to the head, etc.  They experience loss of appetite, massive weight loss, depression, and lowered sex drive, among other things.  I find it strange that people have trouble adjusting to a part of my everyday life.

There's not much else to say, except that I may from time to time ask people to describe smells.  Which makes them very confused.

Even after I knew I couldn't smell, I still couldn't get used to the idea that everything around me had this extra dimension that I can't appreciate.  I was tripping so hard when I found out that bread has a distinct smell.  It really doesn't look like it would smell, since it's so plain.  Also, fruit.  I was very surprised to find out that strawberries, oranges, and bananas had a smell.  I think it's because they're usually served cold, and warm/cold is about as far as my smelling distinctions go.  I can't explain it well, but "cold" smells are chemical-like, or unnatural.  "Warm" smells are natural things, like food and feces (long story of how I found that out).  When fruit is served cold, I always assumed it wouldn't smell as much as it would if it were room temperature.  Now that I think about it, that makes no sense whatsoever.  But that's just how I think. 

So, bread, fruit, hair, and grass. I really can't imagine HOW these things could possibly smell.

And don't say "it smells the same as how it tastes" because that's not true.  You're just smelling it and confusing it with taste.

Right, I only have a few more words before I make today's minimum word count.

I was just looking at the website NeverSmell.com because it has a "personal stories" section on there, and it reminded me of something else.  You know in school how you had to write stories about how something looks, sounds, tastes, feels and smells?  They suck.  Lucky I was good at bullshitting.  Also, in science classes, most recently biology, we often had to identify things by smell.  I think one of our experiments depended entirely on how bad something smelled after a certain period of time.  Other people were gagging with the test tube about a metre away, and I pretty much shoved it up my nose and didn't react.

Well.... I think I'm sick of typing now.  I've got my psychology assignment tomorrow, so I'd better get some sleep.

My total word count is now 14, 488.

5th of November: There's two types of people in the world, those who finish their sentences and those who

I think I'll do another list, since I don't have much to say about any one topic just yet.

1.  I feel like I've got a hangover.  But I don't, it just feels like it.  My eyes hurt.

Last night, a bunch of crap happened.  I don't even feel like explaining it.  My cousin came over, talked and talked and talked.  He went home, the family went out to find some house that the Cleaning Nazi wants to buy.  It was really dark, but we found it anyway.  Went home, had dinner. Got a text message, and my friend came and picked me up.  We went and picked up another friend who just finished work.  We bought her dinner, then went back to her house (God I hate going to people's houses).  We watched TV until 1am or so.  The entire time I was dropping hints about how it's getting late, and we better go to bed etc.  She (the one with the car/my way home) wasn't getting it.  So I waited and waited and waited.  Then I went home and died.  

Today, I feel like I had a pretty wild night out, when I didn't. 

2.  I know what my second point is, and I can't think of how to start it.  So, I'll start it as far back as I possibly can.  I know that I've expressed my feelings about visitors in my home, and in my bedroom, onto this blog.  I think it's probably the first three or so posts.  But I don't like visitors.  My home is a physical manifestation of my mind, personality etc.  I don't want people looking at it.  People being in my room is even more personal, because it's made up entirely of items that I used my own hard earned money to buy.  Everything in there is a small piece of me, that makes up my identity.  Unfortunately, the BF understands this as well, even if I haven't discussed my own views on it.  Only yesterday, he said "I like looking at people's book collections, it tells me a lot about them".  Well,  you're a bit too late, aren't you.  About a day before he came to my house for the first time, I went on a massive "spontaneous" clean-up of my room.  Everything but my uni books went into the garage, in those sealed plastic containers.  I had to do it anyway, because I had no space on my bookshelf for uni stuff, but I also did it because I don't want him to judge me. I know people probably think that it shouldn't matter, and his opinion of me shouldn't change, because my possessions ARE a reflection of who I am.  I'd just rather that he base his opinion of me on what I do, and how I act, rather than what books are on my shelf.  

Anyway, my point to that is, after he sort of examined my room again the other day, he made fun of the fact that I'm hooked on the Sims 3. The next day, he sends me a message saying he was having dreams about the Sims, and that he wanted to borrow it.  He says he's bored of it already, but I think he's addicted, which is why I haven't heard from him since I gave it to him.  It's kind of good for him to have it for the next week or so, because it can't distract me now.

 

3.     I sit down to continue this blog post, and a very weird feeling comes over me.  I don’t know why, or what triggered it, but I just felt unsettled.  I decide to move around a bit, try and shake the feeling.  I go into the bathroom, wash my hands, and come back to the computer.  In the corner of my eye, I notice something.  My dog.  Staring intently at me.  I’ve never seen him so focussed in his life.  It was strange.  If bigger dogs stare at you, you can sort of tell if they’re angry or whatever their emotion is, but Butters is too small for that.  I can’t read his facial expressions and body language as much as I’d like to.  There’s videos on Youtube showing dogs “talking” to their owner, and they seem to be obviously upset or happy or whatever.  But, with my dog, he just seems frustrated.  When the boyfriend came over, we were outside and I was holding Butters.  We were talking about my boyfriend’s dog, and other dogs that talk and do tricks and stuff.  Then Butters starts going on the dog equivalent of a rant.  He won’t be quiet. And he sounds like a gremlin.  And kind of looks like one, which doesn’t help. He went on and on and on, and I felt bad because I didn’t know what he was saying.  Maybe he was just joining in on our conversation, because he didn’t seem to be very emotional.

I have Butters on my lap right now as I type.  He rests his head in the crook of my elbow, and just looks sad.  I don’t actually think he IS sad, I think it’s just his face.  It’s all innocent and wide-eyed and when I try to get a reaction out of him, he licks me on the arm.  He seems pretty intent on staring at the washing basket though.  I wonder why?

I find Chihuahuas to be a very interesting breed.  Even though people say they’re dumb, or useless rats, they really aren’t.  They seem to have far more personality than any other dog breed I’ve encountered.  They’re the smallest breed of dog, and I was told once that they would be the considered the most vicious breed, if they had any size to them.  I could believe that.  You’ve probably never seen it, but a Chihuahua has a very specific way of dealing with threats. Kind of like in this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKGPvul8FXc&feature=related

They scrunch up their face, show all of their teeth, and have their tongue out.  It sounds and looks ridiculous, but I’ve seen it in action and it works.  I took Butters to puppy school when he was about 3 month old I think.  He was the oldest dog there, but half the size of the smallest one.  They had like 10 minutes at the start where they could all play together and get used to each other.  Being the smallest, they all ganged up on him, and he got really scared at the start.  I was told to put him in a playpen until he calmed down.  When he realised they were just playing, we let him out again, and he started doing the attack thing I was talking about whenever the bigger ones got too rough.  They got the hint, and the bigger ones left him alone, and the little ones played nicely.  Then a new guy came, with his French bulldog called John.  Of course, John went around, scaring the crap out of every dog there in turn.  He got to Butters, and he did his little growly thing.  John promptly rolled over, showing submission.  Everyone thought, “oh good, the little one isn’t going to be eaten”.  Then, Butters surprises everyone and starts humping John.  As you can imagine, I was mortified.  It got worse, when by the end of the night, he had humped EVERY DOG THERE!



4.  Every now and then, I go and have a look at the NaNoWriMo forums.  As much as I'd like to take part, I'm not doing the real challenge, I'm just doing the word count.  I find it really weird how motivated people are on these forums.  There's all the different genres of writing that people can talk about, there's a board for the overachievers, the people who need ideas, people who want to ask questions, it actually seems like a really good, supportive forum of like-minded people.  

Right now, I'm looking at the overachievers' forum.  It's all these people talking about how they did 75k last year, so they're going for 100k, or they did 200k last year, and they want to do that again this year.  It's a bit scary how much these people can write.  There's also people aiming for 50k in 2 weeks, which they are well on their way to doing.  Each forum post has the person's word count next to the name, and most of them are 25,000 words or above.  Now, Morgan, Dani-Q and I are all struggling a bit.   Or I know Danique is, I'm not sure about Morgan, but she seems to be questioning the very fabric of our existence, so I think she's going a bit loopy with all these words we try to do.

I've lost track of the numbers, and I don't know if this counts as a new number, or a continuation of the last one.  Whilst trying to spell "continuation", I completely forgot what I was going to say.  So I'll keep going.





5.   I hate my neighbours.  So much.  This will probably come off as a bit racist, but it's not intentional.  I don't hate my neighbours BECAUSE they're Indian, I just happen to hate them, and coincidentally, they are Indian.  I hate them because they have about 3 million kids.  Or maybe one VERY loud one.  I don't know, but there's at least one kid, making more than enough noise for many kids.  And it's constantly screaming about something.  I don't know what exactly, because it's screaming in Indian.  The father also has a strange fondness for power tools.  So I find it a bit suspicious when there's children screaming at the top of their lungs, then the father starts screaming in Indian, and then a power saw starts up, and there's more screaming.  At this very moment, the father is starting up a chainsaw.  Any minute now, the kid will start screaming.............. There we go.


6.  Just out of curiousity, I just tried out something called Write or Die.  The results were strange.  Here they are below.

I'm trying out this thing I've heard about called Write or Die.  It should be interesting if it works.  I think  the idea is that you set some word goals, for example, I have set a goal of 500 words right now to test it out.  You set the goal, then a time limit.  And how strict you want it to be.  I'm on the hardest setting right now.  Fuck, I'm worried.  I don't actually know what's going to happen in 8 minutes, since it's been 2 minutes already.  I think its an alarm or something.  Either way, I'm trying to type so god damned fast that I'm spelling everything wrong because my brain moves faster than my fingers.   AAAAAAAH 7 minutes!  What do I write about? 

Holy shit.  I stoped typing for like 20 seconds and shit started flashing red.  Doesn't look very fun, but I suppose it will work.  It's not giving me any inspiration though.  I'm just typing and typing, and nothing is coming to mind.  Fuck fuck fuck.  What was my word goal again?  500?  I don't remember.  I'll tell you about my love of energy drinks, to make me talk about SOMTHING

I drink lots of energy drinks.  I love them.  But I only drink certain ones.  Like Monster, the green and yellow ones.  Not the low-carb bullshit.  That's crap.  I tried Mother or whatever its called, and that tastes disgusting, I hate it.  Escpeicaly the orange one.  It makes me sick.  Once I had 2 within about an hour of eachother, and I was all over the place.  I actually took the dog for a run, that was several kms long. It was weird, consideing fat people usually dont like to run.  But I ran with my dog, and i couldnt stop smiling the whole time.  i wasnt really happy, i just smiled, and my face hurt, it wasnt too fum.  I have like 2 minutes left, and 150 words.  think i can do it?  I dont.,

Anyway.  I only drink monster.,  havent tried rockstar, but i think i might.  apparently it tastes better than monster, but the person who said that is probably lying.  theyre supposed to be bad for your teeth, and my teeth are gjhbjk siodjfo o xalready shit as it is.  theyre gross and i dont like them.  i need braces, because theyre gross as .  5 seconds hoigrnw;og r sfjco;eq ewfcojcoper;j copjodv pogvjopskjrp.




Now, that probably didn't make much sense.  You set a word goal, in my case 500 words, then you set a time limit, which for me was 10 minutes.  Then you type as much as you possibly can before the time is up.  I had heard about this, last time I tried to do NaNoWriMo last year, but I never got around to using it.  I needed some motivation for today's post, and I come out with a garbled mess.  Don't worry, I don't normally type like that.  I was in a rush, and hitting the backspace button took up my precious seconds.  So rather than editing, I just started the word again.    When I stopped to think for a little while, the screen started flashing red.  I panicked, and kept typing, even if it was crap.  


http://writeordie.drwicked.com/


This is the website here.  Ignore the crap on the front, the important part is on the right hand side.




My fingers are tingling now.  Weird.


You know, I'm completely awake now, and my eyes don't hurt any more.  


I'm going to take a break, then start a new blog post, this time with a topic.