Australia Day! Also, I have an award!

I've been given an award by Dani-Q, so I'll do that at the end of this post.  Here's a brief update on my life.  

Still no job, but the bag shop at the local shopping centre is apparently looking for casual staff to do 8-10 hours a week, which is perfect for me.  I spoke to the lady, and she seemed really positive.  So I went home, got my resume, and went back there a few hours later.  The lady actually recognised me, which was very encouraging.  I got an email back about a job at a grocery store, and they said their hiring process is on hold until mid-February, so that sucks. Other than that, nothing new.

WARNING:  THIS PARAGRAPH IS A BIT GRAPHIC.

I went to the doctors about my digestion-related problems.  He referred me to a pathologist, who had to take blood, urine and faeces tests.  The pathologist wasn't very nice at all.  But she had to deal with my faeces, so I think we all know who came out on top.  BUT, she told me the sample had to be frozen, so I had to do it all again.  Of course, I got stage fright  and didn't go to the toilet for 2 days after that.  I finally did, handed in my jar of poo, and the lady thanked me for it.  I laughed like a demon.  I know it's part of her job, but it must suck.

 Since it's Australia Day, and I am Australian, I took part in the customary ritual of consuming a shitload of alcohol.  Being sick to begin with, I didn't consume as much as what I planned, but I still attempted to have fun.  There were too many people in town, and line-ups of about 30 mins for each club.  One place had a line for about 2 hours, apparently.  Also, thank god we had a designated driver, because the taxi line went the whole way down the street.  No thank you.

But now, today actually IS Australia Day, and I'm not doing anything Australia-related for it. Oh well, I think last night made up for it.

Last thing before I do the award bit, I just received a text message from the boyfriend.  He is apparently making a cake. He won't tell me what flavour.  I fear for the world.  This will not end well.

And now for the award! 

 Life Is Good

Apparently, since I have been given an award I have to answer questions and pass it on?  I think I can do that.

If you blog anonymously, are you happy doing this? If you aren't anonymous, do you wish you started out anonymously, so that you could be anonymous now?

To be honest, it doesn't really matter to me whether I'm anonymous or not.  I mean, I haven't given away all the details to me life, so to the casual reader, I sort of am.  If you wanted to go all out stalker on me, it wouldn't be too hard to find me though.

Describe an incident that shows your inner stubborn side.

I continue to argue, even when I know I'm wrong.  Mostly with my parents.  And if my side of the argument is going badly, I blame someone else and they cop it worse than I do.

What do you see when you really look at yourself in the mirror?

I see a sack of flesh with limbs and a face and other appendages.  I also stare at my eyes until they look more grey than blue.  Then I notice my terribly shaped eyebrows and run away before I'm tempted to shave them off.

What is your favourite summer cold drink?

I liked Pepsi Max, until I realised that it was one of the things that makes my digestive system do weird stuff, so I'm trying to cut down on it.

When you take time for yourself, what do you do?

I have very long showers.

Is there something that you still want to accomplish in your life?

Of course!   I haven't even had a real job yet!  Let alone a life, proper relationships, kids, etc etc.  All that normal life stuff people do when they have lives.

When you attended school, were you the class clown, the class overachiever, the shy person or always ditching?

Depends on the class really.  And who was in the class.  But I was usually seen as the overachiever, but only because I consistently turned up for class, and did the work (never the homework though).

If you close your eyes and want to visualize a very poignant moment in your life, what would you see?

When someone I was very close to was drunk, and said some very hurtful things that they didn't mean.  Even though they apologized, we were both hurt by the end of it, and it started the decline of our friendship.  We don't even talk anymore.  It sucks, because they were one of my best friends, but that incident brought out all the problems we had ever had. And don't worry, people who are reading this.  It's none of you.  You don't even know this person.

Is it easy for you to share your true self in you blog, or are you more comfortable writing posts about other people and events?

I share my true self I guess.  It's sort of a shallow picture, because I try not to name too many people, but what I do tell is like the top layer of my true self.

If you had the choice to sit down and read a book or talk on the phone, which would you do and why?

Read.  I can't talk on the phone.  I hate it.  My grandmother told my mum it was like talking to a rock when you're on the phone to me.  I'm a little bit better now, but I still hate it.

So that's it for the award bit.  I have to give it to other people now?  How about Morgan from the Adorkable Ditz' Missteps.  She always reads my posts.  I like her.  She's nice.

18th of November : What day is it?

Now, this whole "new day begins at 12:00" is confusing the shit out of me.  I believe my most recent post was titled 15th of November.  Except I thought I wrote it yesterday, or the day before.  I don't fucking know anymore.  NO WAIT.  I started writing it on the 15th, and midnight came around, and it ended up being finished and posted on the 16th.  Now, my dilemma is, where the fuck did the 17th go?  Or the 16th?  I lost a day somewhere.  Is it actually the 18th today?

HOLY SHIT.  It's past midnight.  That's why it's the 18th.  Right, I've got it now guys.  Don't worry.

Now that I know what day it is (I believe it is currently Thursday) I can continue on with the bits and pieces of my last few days that I actually remember.  Now, a disclaimer.  You may read this, and assume I did some silly things under the influence of alcohol.  I was drunk, but not once did I lose control of what I was doing.  The days and times are just jumbled up because I don't pay attention to it anyway.

Now.  Let's start with Monday night, or what I shall refer to as Monday night.  I was talking to a person over facebook chat.  He was a guy who I sort of knew from years back.  He was a few grades above me in high school.  I added him to seee if he would accept.  After seeing the friend request, he sent me a message asking if I knew him.  I did what any decent internet stalker would do, and I avoided all direct communication.  I'm a stalker, not a talker.

So I ignored this message, and completely forgot about it.  He added me anyway, about a week later.  Monday night, he starts talking to me on facebook chat.  It's basically just me saying "oh, no I don't know you, I just stalk you, but not like hardcore stalking, since I don't know anything about you".  I think he was dissappointed at my fail-stalk.  I don't really have much to add, but I'll keep you all in the know.

What else happened?  Monday night... Tuesday comes next I think.  So I do nothing for most of Tuesday.  I decide that I'm going shopping for booze and shoes (booze and shooze?)  So I text people, and they're all lame and doing exams and other stuff that responsible people do.  Fuck that.  So I go to the bus stop, and I wait.  I get on the bus, off the bus, and I start shopping.  I don't find any decent clothes, so I look for new shoes to go with my old clothes.  Unsuccessful.  I get gel inserts for my old shoes instead.  I also get a new town-bag.  Town-bags have some pretty specific requirements.  Has to have a long strap, not be very big.  Has to match outfit and shoes, MUST have inside zip pocket.  Anyway, I got one.  So I've got my shoe stuff and a bag, so now I need booze.  I go to Dan Murphy's, the alcohol grocery store that I may have mentioned previously.  I buy my drinks, totalling $136 (to be fair, $100 of that was because I wanted cash out).

After that, I catch a bus home, and get in the shower.  The Cleaning Nazi comes home and screams at me about going to the dentist.  The appointment was at 4pm, and it was about 3:15pm at the time.  So I screamed back.  I got ready as fast as possible, and she kept screaming, until she realised me were going to be 45 minutes early.  We go to the dentist, normal dentist stuff happens.  They say I have crooked teeth, and that I should go to the oral hygienist, but I can't get an appointment until next year.  Oh well.

Go home, and I do my hair and makeup.  I put on outfit 1, then outfit 2, then back to outfit 1.  I show the Cleaning Nazi, and I get the thumbs up.  Then she does some weird gesture towards my breasts, so I change to outfit 2.  She tells me she likes outfit 2, but 1 was better.  So I change again.  Then Dad comes home, and there's more breast gestures, so I stick to outfit 2.

I get ready, and we pick up the friends and go to one of their cousin's friend's place.  So, a friend of a friend of a friend's place.  I didn't know any of them.  My solution?  Get drunk.  And so I did.  There were faces being made at me, but I was drunk, so who cares?  I know what they were probably thinking, but oh well.

I was talking to some guy about his tattoos.  On one of his arms he had a sleeve of norse mythology symbolism.  At the top near his shoulder, he was telling me the wolf was Thor.  Now, I may have been wasted, but I knew damn well that the wolf in Nordic mythology is Fenrir.  I just hope he knew that, and was simplifying it for me.  He then told me about the tattoo on his chest.  He reckons it was a Nazi symbol, but it didn't look like any kind of Nazi-related imagery I've ever seen.  Just the term "Nazi tattoo" had my friends wide-eyed with horror.  I wasn't fussed, since he was full of shit anyway.  He also had an Autobots symbol on the back of his neck.  Now that's just lame. 

Autobot symbol from Transformers

When it got to around 9 or 10 at night, the maxi taxi turned up.  I didn't want to waste drinks, so I sculled a few and shoved one in my bag before I left.  We got in the taxi, and went to town.  We went to Cactus Jack's, a mexican themed bar and restaurant.  They have $9 jugs.  Of course, this asks for many jokes about how I don't need their jugs, I have plenty of my own.  I was talking to some guy called Grant I think.  He was 28, and a former geography teacher, now a union representative.  Weird, I forget that 28 year olds are still young enough to go nightclubbing.  In any other situation, 28 is not old at all.  In night clubs, its just weird that I socialise with people 10 years older than me, and they aren't condescending douches to me.

Anyway, we meet up with a bunch of physiotherapy students (the friends I'm with are physios).  They go about their usual business, and I try to learn their names.  That goes fairly well.  I also start feeling bad about the fact that I never mentioned my plans with the bf, so I do a bit of drunk dialling, and he knows exactly what's up.

Now this is about the point in the night where I stop taking note of the order of events.  We leave Cactus.  I see a bunch of people I know, and one of them has a pair of dice (die?).  One of them has an action (tickle/rub/kiss etc) and the other has a body part.  I rolled them, and got an ear massage.  Nice.

I ran into that crazy guy I talked about AGES ago, the one who started crying when I left to go home.  He tried to get me to go inside with him, but I had to find my friends, who I had somehow lost.  I found them again, then stuff happened.  I don't even know.  There was a guy called Troy with a lip piercing, and he asked if my boobs were real.

Skip ahead in time, and my friends are getting pizza.  I find the guy with the dice again, and I hug him as if I hadn't seen him an hour earlier.  There's some old guy called Gino talking to me.  I'm not very nice to him, but he's like 50-something.  I don't have to be nice to old guys hitting on me and trying to buy me pizza.

Then I don't even remember what comes after this.  Not because I was blind drunk, just because all the clubs are pretty similar, and I haven't been going long enough to tell the difference.

Somewhere around this time, my friends are trying to get into contact with Danique.  I may have even called her, and I called her a pussy.  Quite a lot.  Because she refused to come to the other side of the street, where all her friends were.  Pussy.  She went home at like 1 I think.  That's what she said in the message she sent me.  I think.  I may not have read it. But anyway, I last until 3, when we all pile in the designated driver's clown car and go home.

I wake up this morning, and I stumble around as if I'm still drunk.  I can't feel my toes.  Other than that, I feel pretty good.  I get on facebook, and everyone else who was out that night is doing the same as me.  Assessing injuries and eating strange things for breakfast.  I do pretty much nothing for the rest of the day, until 6, when I go to work.  One of the girls I work with was out in town with me, and I saw her a few times.  Apparently I kept telling her about how the gel inserts in my shoes were falling out.  Sure enough, I went from 4 at the start of the night, to 1 at the end.  So I wasn't doing any drunk rambling.  It was all true.

Now, that pretty much updates you from Monday, all the way to now, which is very early Thursday morning.  When it's daylight, I think I'll go shopping again.  Thursday night, I believe there may be some sort of a plan for going to a tavern, or the uni club or something.  I don't know, but I'm all for it, since I'm not working.

Now, it's like 1am.  My parents aren't too happy about my weird sleeping pattern, but who cares.  I get enough sleep, just not at the same time as them.  As long as I get to work, I don't think it should matter what I do for the rest of the time.  I'm going to end this here, since I can barely keep my eyes open.

This post's word count = 1744
Total November word count = 26, 922

3rd of November: Hmmm

What am I going to blog about today?

I consult my list of blog topics, and none seem particularly interesting, and I don't think I could squeeze 2000 words out of any of them.  The list I've been getting some ideas off has ideas like "Things that scare the shit out of me", which I have done.  Another topic is "My First Kiss" and "My Worst Kiss".  Not sure I want to talk about those.

My first kiss was when I was drunk at a party, with a friend of mine.  After that, it's been VERY awkward between us.  Especially since my friends don't let it go.  It's not even that embarrassing, but everyone else tries to MAKE it embarrassing.

My worst kiss?  It was a strange night.  Once again, I was drunk.  For those of you who know me, all I have to say is "New Years Eve", and they know exactly what I'm referring to.  For my newest follower, Hed from Hed Down Under, this happened at your beloved Magnetic Island.  Anyway, I was drunk, and instead of wobbling around like the drunk girl I was, I had my hand on the shoulder of some guy, so that I could keep myself upright.  I don't know what happened, but next thing I know, he's kissing me, and he's got his hand up my skirt, trying to tell me I had a fantastic ass.  That didn't work well, because... You know.  Have you ever TRIED to compliment someone while your tongue was halfway down their throat?  Bit difficult.  I said to him, "Excuse me", I turned around, and threw up everywhere.  I didn't stop for a few hours.  And that's why I will never, ever, mix vodka and rum in my stomach every again.   I still feel queasy when I see Captain Morgan rum.  For days afterward, I couldn't drink anything without feeling sick.  It was still the best party I've ever been to.  I think my drunkenness ruined it for everyone else, but I had fun.

So there you go, my first and my worst kiss.  FYI, my first SOBER kiss was with the guy I'm currently dating.  But THAT story is not going to be posted for all the internet to see.  It is quite embarrassing.

Speaking of the guy I'm currently dating, he left his wallet at my house.  It has no money or anything in it.  Just a $2 coin I think.  And a very silly looking school ID from 2009.  I find it funny that he takes such pride in his hair, no matter what it looks like.  In this ID photo, the best way to describe the hair is like a shorter, modified version of Russell Brand's hair.

Kind of like that.  Except his was straightened at the front, and a teased-to-hell rat's nest at the back.  Weird.  Sometime between that photo, from start of 2009, and when I decided to randomly talk to him after 6 years of no contact in January 2010, he cut it so it's shortish, spiky, and highly styled.  No matter what his hair looks like, he's still in love with it.  It's like his prized possession.  I'm not sure what would hurt him more, throwing his last pack of cigarettes into a pool (as Dani-Q once threatened), or shaving his head.  Either way, no one will survive.

But yeah, he left his wallet at my house, under my bed.  I don't have a clue how it got there, considering he put it on my desk, which is on the opposite side of the room.  I tried texting him about it multiple times, but I haven't heard from him.  You would think that he would want it back, but nope.  He doesn't ever have his bank card or anything, so I suppose he doesn't need it.  It just means he'll have to ask for it back from me if he wants to go into town, because his 18+ card is in it.


Well, I managed to ramble on about that for longer than expected.

I have to go to work this afternoon.  I don't fucking want to.  I hate working late, because it means I sit around all day, not doing anything because I don't want to waste my precious free time.  If I worked in the morning, I could go to work, and I'd have all this time afterwards to do whatever I felt like doing.  But working at night, you just wait.  If you go out before work, it feels like you don't have enough time, and you constantly check the time, and you end up late anyway.

I'm supposed to be studying for exams this week.  I only have 2 night fill shifts (putting new stock on shelves), so nothing to worry about there.  Next week, I have all four of my exams.  I also have like 4 night fill shifts, 6pm to 10pm.  Why is it that I get heaps of work when I shouldn't be working, and I get pretty much nothing on the week that I have no uni.  It's the same as when I had all my assignments due about 2 or 3 weeks back.  I worked about 3 times during the week, when I shouldn't have been working at all.

Stupid work.


I can't really think of much else to write at the moment.

OH.  One last thing.  In the backyard, next to the pool, we have all these gardens, all with palm trees in them.  Birds make their nests in them, and the silly birds always choose the palm leaf that's turning yellow and is about to fall off at any second.   It doesn't happen very often, but for the last week, we've had a nest out there.  Two eggs hatched.  One day, my parents witnessed a hawk take one of the babies, and the hawk sat on the pool fence and ripped the baby to shreds, in front of them.  So there was one baby left.  Mum and I expected this baby to be cute, so we went to take a photo of it.

The original photo we took was just a tiny little head sticking out between two palm fronds.  But something wasn't quite right.  We zoomed in on the camera to look at the head, and it looked quite strange.  So we uploaded it on the computer, and I've zoomed in, and cut out all the extra crap so you too can see what I see.

FUCKING LOOK AT IT.   THAT'S SOME MOTHERFUCKING SCARY-ASS SHIT RIGHT THERE.  IT'S BEEN WATCHING ME FOR A WEEK NOW!

It's fuckin' angry.  I can tell.







You know what the scariest part is?  It's gone.  Not in the nest anymore.  I can just tell.  One day I'm going to be home alone, and I hear a strange noise.  I'll turn around, and that THING will be looking back at me.  Possibly holding my dog's severed head.  Now that I think about it, I haven't seen my dog all day....







I guess today can be counted as my first unsuccessful day of NaNoWriMo.  I'm not going to be able to make 2000 words today, since I don't really have a topic.  Lucky I did 3000 words yesterday, I knew it would come in handy one day, I just didn't realise it would be today.  Well, I made it to 1240 words, I might be able to come up with something after work.  My total for November is now 6370.

Also, I've found some pictures from that Zombie Walk that I didn't end up going to.

Makeup by Veeutiful, Photo by Hiroshima Photography.

Inverted Greebles [UPDATED]

I'm conflicted.

I have someone texting me about going out all day. I've had someone nagging about me blogging all day. I clearly can't do both to a satisfactory level, so I compromise. I blog as well as I possibly can, while my poor little phone is buzzing its little heart out.

The reason why I am putting off my social life for an hour or so is because of NaNoWriMo. National Novel Writing Month. It's actually international, but that ruins the catchy name. The other day, I was going about my daily business, and I realised it was October. Then I thought, "Hmm, when's November?" Then I pretty much creamed myself when I remembered what order the months of the year go in.

It's November next month! And NaNoWriMo is in November! And that means that NaNoWriMo is next month, in case you have reading comprehension issues!

Two years ago, I first heard about it. As a little sixteen year old, I found it to be too daunting. And, it was already December by then... Last year, I signed up, had a few months of intense dedication and excitement, until November 1, when I gave up... On.The.First.Night.

God damn it.

Ah well. This year, I decided I wasn't going to do it. Then I was thinking about Russell Brand putting out a second autobiography (despite how young he is, and how it's only been a few years since his first). I considered writing my own autobiography, but that would be silly, since I haven't really had too many dramatic life changing events to dedicate chapters to.

Instead, I'm going to do this blog as my NaNoWriMo project. The goal is 50 000 words, which is the size of a smallish novel. I worked this out last year, if I do 2000 words a night, it gets me over the line by the end of the month. So yeah. No structured and carefully planned narratives for me, just an endless stream of Meganisms (apparently, within my extended family, that is a commonly used term). Don't worry, I have plenty to talk about.

You know that person I was telling you about, who keeps texting me? He turned up at my house anyway, despite my dismissals. I'll finish this later. I may be slightly drunk, but it will be completed.


To Be Continued...



I'm back, and I figured that I might as well continue this one, rather than start a new one.

ANYWAY.

So my NaNo project will be this blog. I told Dani-Q about this, and she's up for a challenge. Personally, I think we'll both surrender within a week, but who knows? Typing in this blog isn't nearly as hard as trying to write your own fictional story, where you're constantly wondering if it's going to be any good and screaming "DON'T READ IT!" Every time someone walks past. Also, this way, it seems like I'm making daily progress. I'm really not, since I don't have a goal other than word limit.

I'm going to go ahead and tell you something completely (well, not completely, but somewhat) off topic here.  I've been writing stories and crap since I was learning to write.  My first one was like 2 pages long, and it was about a crab with magical powers.  I was clearly a strange little child.  Anyway, I've been writing for a long time.  I've also gone to a few different workshops with authors and shown them my writing and whatnot.   I won a poetry competition once.  It was also terrible, but not as bad as other kids' I guess.

I picked up a tiny little piece of advice from god knows where, but it helps as a character building exercise.  I used it once, and I liked it a lot, it's a shame I didn't keep those few paragraphs.  IT WAS:  Write a scene where your character(s) are having breakfast.

Y'know, you can learn a lot about someone from their breakfast.  Think about it.  My breakfast, or lack thereof, is completely dependent on what time of the year it is.  If I have cereal (which takes me like an hour to eat), I have plenty of time so I must be on holidays.  If I have something quick, and un-breakfast-like, for example pizza, I am going somewhere, probably uni.  If I have a coffee or something liquid, I'm going to work and don't have time for food.  If I have nothing, I'm going shopping, where I buy something while I'm out.

It also teaches you a lot about another person.  Let's say Jane wakes up at 2pm on a Sunday afternoon, and rather than go for the greasy bacon and eggs that her husband made her several hours ago and left on the bench, she goes for a nice big glass of water and a puke.  Big night, Jane?  I can tell.

John wakes up at 5:30am, has a power-shower, and grabs his protein shake on the way out of the apartment, with a towel around his neck.

It can also be done with several characters having breakfast together. A family with three kids, Mum rushing off to work while Dad feels the toddler.  Or, the other way around gives you a completely different story.

I'll stop now.  You get the picture.


To continue with something completely different, I'm going to see if I can get to 2000 words without running out of steam.



People who invite themselves along to stuff:  I had to deal with this situation personally today.  A friend of mine sent me a message about going into town (to nightclubs) tonight  for cheap Tuesday.  I was willing to go, because I figured I have money to spend on some fun.  I ran into another friend, who was also going out tonight.  That's when they told me "(Let's call her...) Barbara kind of invited herself. "  So, by extension, I invited myself as well, since the one who invited me wasn't invited.  Its not a huge deal, since I really don't think they would care if I went (it's my town too, guys.  I see it as a party that everyone's invited to).  Still, I told the chick who organized it that I was going to have a night alone, and save my hard earned cash.  That's what I fully intended to do.

I got home from uni, had a shower, washed my hair (FINALLY).  I snuggled up in my PJs, started this post, and KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.  My pyjama party was crashed by the boyfriend.  Mum runs into the room, frantically gesturing for me to put some real clothes on.  So he makes awkward conversation with my parents, who hate him, while I get dressed as slowly as possible.  I'm not going to make things easier for you if you turn up unannounced.  Keep that in mind before you show up at my house, whoever you are, Blog Stalker.

We get food, go places, blah blah blah.  Then I find out that (the person who I renamed as...) Barbara has texted my boyfriend (because renaming is fun, let's call him...) Ken, trying to make him take her into town.   Fair enough if I was going in with her, but I wasn't going to.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not angry, I just thought it was strange (and a bit funny).  Anyway, enough about tonight.  It was weird and I can't be bothered trying to explain why.

Speaking of Barbara and Ken, I was talking to Danique today about Barbie (the doll).  In particular, the Twilight Saga dolls made by Mattel (the company that makes Barbie).  I was telling her about the massive jump in quality from the first movie's Bella and Edward dolls, who look like a brunette Barbie and a pasty white freak.

To a semi normal looking Jacob doll for New Moon, which I won't link to, since I can't find a decent picture of the one we sell at work.  Then, when Eclipse came out, I noticed these were the most amazing dolls I have ever seen.  Freakin' look at them down there!

 How cool are they!  And I don't even like Twilight!  But they look like the characters, and not like Barbie/Bella.  This got us onto the topic of other Mattel triumphs, and a couple of other fucked up dolls.  There's the Black Label Basics Barbies, which are like the perfect women.  Not even like Barbie perfect, more like perfect in a more-perfect-than-Barbie way.  As Danique put it, "It's America's Next Top Model for Dolls!"

Once again, how cool are they!!!!!!  The really really black one makes me laugh.  It sounds so racist, but its funny when the packaging is black, the doll's dress is black, and the doll is the same colour as the packaging, so from a distance it looks like an empty box. Still, I'd kill to look like any of these dolls, because they are far too good looking for real people. 

What else was I going to write about?


There's some guy trying to talk to me on facebook chat.  Honestly, if you're relying on FB chat to contact me, I clearly don't like you enough to give you any of my real details, so don't bother talking to me.  He's some random guy, I don't know where I found him because he's well into his 20s, and I don't have any friends that old.  Not that it's old in the general scheme of things, it's just that I'm barely 18, so someone in their twenties is old and worldly to me.  Anyway, the point I was going for before I got off track, when we first encountered eachother, we were strangers.  Now, nearly a year later, we seem to have a lot of mutual acquaintances.  They're all people we've both known for ages, separately.  It's like I'm playing 6 Degrees of Separation with myself. 

I'm not going to talk to him. 

He's weird.


One last thing.  Watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63lyA42Y6ug&feature=related

Since I don't think the link worked.

My god.  November can not come fast enough.

The Phantom Corn Popper.

1.  I'm going to do a numbered list, rather than a proper, paragraph structured blog, because I don't really have much to say about anything in particular.

2.  I work in a toy store.  This may seem fantastic for all you non-toy-store-employees, but its not all that great.  Don't get me wrong, most of it is great, and I'm not planning on leaving any time soon.  BUT.  The store is seriously a death trap.  Here are some common occurrences:

-Crap falling from shelves on to heads, usually with the pointy bits hitting you in the eye.

-Random unsanitary goo finding its way into children's clothes.

-People (staff and customers alike) falling in every possible direction, such as down stairs, up ladders, up stairs, down ladders, over boxes/children/the occasional dog.

-Finding animals in strange places, like dogs in the warehouse, rats in the nursery, dead possums in bike shop, and these tiny humanoid creatures called children: we kind of have an infestation of the weird little buggers.

-Finding cuts all over your body.  I am covered in tiny cuts, and I am becoming immune to the pain they cause, which is good I suppose.  On a related note, I was on break today, and I felt something strange in my back.  I later have a look at where the feeling is coming from, and I have these giant cuts down the middle of my back.  It looks like I got raked (yes, raked, not raped).

-Some people believe that there may be some sort of poltergeist, due to all the random shit falling unexpectedly, lights flickering, strange noises in some parts of the store, and the fact that something raked me.

-Fisher Price corn poppers.  Google it if you don't recognise the name, but everyone's seen them.  If you put too many of them together, they somehow make a god-awful noise.  I don't know how, since they're made of plastic and styrofoam, but they create like a really high pitched whining sound.  So high pitched, that you can't really hear it unless you're in complete silence, for example, doing nightfill in that aisle.  Its so high, that you aren't sure if its real or you're imagining it, until you bump into them and they stop.  Either way, it scares the shit out of me.  Maybe we don't have a poltergeist.  It might just be a phantom corn popper.

Anyway, that's enough for number 2 on my list.

3.  My blog-writing friend (whose blog tempted me into starting this in the first place) has been nagging me all afternoon about updating, so here it is.  It may seem like I'm taking ages, but believe me, when I do update, its always long enough to satisfy you.

4.  Isn't it always fun to get text messages while you're at work?  I know you aren't supposed to have your phone on you, because you should be working.  But let's ignore that for the moment.  When you receive messages at work, its like it  affirms your existence.  It says to you "Yes, even if you are stuck in the one building for an ungodly amount of time, there is still life outside of its walls, and these life forms are taking the time to think about you".  I'm definitely overthinking this, since the messages weren't particularly deep and meaningful and life affirming, they were the sort that you wouldn't really want to show your grandmother.  Even if it was a bit crude, its still nice to know that someone's thinking about you.

5.  Some of my friends may be aware that I am completely in love with halterneck dresses/tops/whatever.  Sometimes I say I like it because it makes the wearer look classy and elegant.  Really, its because of its well known effect of making breasts look larger.  I like that.  Anyway, readers.  You may rejoice, I have found another halterneck dress to add to my collection.  I now have a black one, and a bright blue one, both of which look stunning.

6.  I have been doing a criminology assignment on the CSI Effect.  Basically, I've been trying to write 1500 words on how TV makes people stupid.  They watch CSI, and expect TV magic to happen in real life crime cases when they are part of the jury.  In my research, I have found some strange stuff.
  
     a.  A prison inmate was caught with drugs in his rectum.  The jury did not have an excrement sample to confirm that the drugs were indeed in his rectum, and not in someone else's.

     b.  In another prison, a syringe was found next to a note signed by a certain inmate.  When approached, the inmate had syringe marks on his arm, and admitted it was his, yet the police did not do a handwriting analysis on the note, so they would not convict him.

     c.  A man sped past police in a stolen car.  When he was arrested, the jury demanded fingerprint tests done on the car, to prove that he was in the car that he was driving (because, apparently, you don't have to be in the car to be seen driving it?).

     d.  A man was acquitted of an attempted murder charge because there was no "scientific evidence",  after hearing the good news, he promptly hunted down his girlfriend and repeatedly stabbed her to death.

The bottom line of my argument is:  People are stupid.

7.  I recently turned 18, as I may have mentioned in some other blog.  This means I can (legally) enter nightclubs.  And I have been doing so.  Anyway.  I was there the other night, sitting there casually while my friends were doing god-knows-what.  I already made a point of finding THEM males to use and abuse in whichever way they please.  I personally am already in a strange sort of agreement with a male, and so I am not even slightly interested in jumping through the hoops to get a new one.

Well, I was trying all night to find friends for my friends, but they were being all wishy-washy standard girl stuff.  They go to do something somewhere, and I am left sitting on a couch.  There's a guy with a bunch of other people about a metre to my left.  He beckons me over, and we begin to talk.  I'm thinking friendly chatting, and apparently he's thinking something different.  He seemed quite confident when he tried to kiss me on the hand/shoulder/cheek/lips, and I realised he never actually asked me if I was comfortable with any of it.  He never asked about any other people I may or may not be involved with.  If he had, I would  happily tell him that I was not looking for anyone, and that I was here for my friends.  But, for some reason, the topic never came up.

He asked me to go outside with him so he could smoke (LOLOLOLOL SMOKER) so I did.  Ah, fresh air, and a noise level suitable for conversation.  Still, the topic never came up.  I just thought, well, I'll give him some way to contact me, and I'll run for the hills so the awkward "I guess I've been leading you on by talking to you" conversation never comes up.  Guess what?  He has no phone.  How come everyone in the developed world has a phone, except for the people that I encounter?

Anyway, went back inside, saw pretty much everyone I know but don't really talk to (funny how people go "OH MY GOD I DON'T TALK TO YOU EVER BUT LET'S HUG ANYWAY" in nightclubs) and found my friends.  I'll skip over like an hour or so, since pretty much nothing happened.  We went back outside again (god knows why), but this time with my friends.  Finally, they were able to correctly identify my uncomfortable body language, and we left, after a very awkward "I'm leaving for no apparent reason" conversation with this guy.

If for some reason you read all this, and you realise, hey, this sounds exactly like me you're describing, then yes, it is you.  I used a lot of commas in that sentence.  Back on track, if this is about you, then I'm sorry about the other night, if you feel I may have led you on or anything.  It wasn't intentional.  You're a nice guy, but I'm not really emotionally available right now (emotionally available - sounds like something out of a dating advice column, but it means that regardless of my married/single/other status, I am personally not able to commit myself to a relationship with you).

I've kind of forgotten my point now.  Maybe there wasn't a point.


8. (I think this is 8, not really sure)  On my desk, I've created a sort of collage of photos from the last 3 years or so of my life.  I've seen lots of other people do it, and I've always looked at it, thinking "wow, this person has so many great memories with friends".  Looking at mine, yes, I have some great memories with friends. But these randomly pasted together images don't accurately reflect my life, because it doesn't show all the stress and pain of the parts in between.

For example, there's a photo from a sports day with people in costumes.  It looks all happy and fun, but leading up to that moment (and even after) there was plenty of arguments, tears, and dirty looks tossed around by all.  Another photo, from film and tv class, doesn't depict the race against time that came in the form of an assignment, which was being completed while the photo was taken. Another one is from a friend's birthday party, and everyone that night was angry at each other, because some chose to go to several other parties that same night, before eventually turning up around midnight.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, because these experiences make me who I am.  But, never again will I look at a photo album of collage and ignore all the happenings between each photo, because what you don't see is just as important as what you do see.

9.  On a lighter note, I have been on lecture recess, and I will be until Monday (Its Saturday now).  I know that right now, I feel stressed and worried about uni, and I'm looking forward to this semester being over, so I get a break and have a chance to save some money (Toy store job + Christmas =$$$$$).  BUT.  I know once uni is finished, after maybe  3 weeks of holidays, I'll be sick of being at home or work all the time, and I'll want to go back to uni.  Oh well.

10.  I have a chihuahua called Butters.  Being a chihuahua, he is quite small, regardless of what size he believes he is.  This size can pose a problem.  He is not a guard dog, and if anyone comes into the yard to steal stuff, they'll probably take him too.  Anyway, we just have him because he'll bark at stuff.  And bark he does.  He's a good little alarm system.  The problem is, what he perceives as a threat is not actually a threat to anyone but him.  Namely, the possums that live in the tree near his bed.  I thought it was funny how they sat in the tree while the dog lost his shit, hopping around on the ground.  However, the other morning, I realized that this situation was far more serious than I thought.  The entire side of the house was a battlefield, and the possums were victorious.  Butters has a little igloo type thing with a dog mattress (which we call his hump rag) and all his toys in it.  The hump rag was over in a completely different part of the yard, and his toys were everywhere, including places that the dog could never reach.  Dog food was spread out all along the side of the house. I believe that possums have co-ordinated an attack against my dog... Bastards.

Well, that's about all for now.  I also have realized that I easily wrote a 1500 word blog post in one go, but I've been agonizing about my 1500 word essay for about a week now.