Update!

So, it's been nearly two months since I've updated.  And even that update was pretty crappy. I can't remember that far back (who am I kidding, I can't even remember what I had for breakfast), so I'll just go through this entire year thus far.

Earlier this year, I was lamenting my joblessness after I quit at the toy store due to lack of hours.  I got a job at a truck stop as a waitress.  For American readers, this place was a bit classier than you probably imagine (but not classy enough to be called an actual restaurant).  I started back at uni around this time.  The job didn't really work well with my uni timetable, and my parents didn't appreciate the fact that I stayed back a few hours every night.  After having one too many coffees thrown at me, I quit.  I had only been there about 2 months, if that.

I had another stint of joblessness, but I used this time to try and focus on uni.  It was nice, but I was running out of money pretty fast.  I applied at a few places, got a few interviews, and finally got a job at a grocery store, as an online shopper.  Basically, my department gets the orders, and my coworkers and I go around and collect the order items off the shelves.  I've been there for about a month and a half I think now.  Still haven't got my discount card, but when I do, it will probably be one of the greatest days of my life.

I also finished the first semester of my 2nd year at uni today!  For the other semesters I finished, I was always so relieved it was over.  This semester went really quickly though, and I'm not sure if it was my improved time planning, or just a better course structure.  Whatever it was, I was significantly less stressed out this semester, despite a few disasters involving group assignments and stupid people. 

So now, I'm at home, lost and unsure of what to occupy my time with.  Currently, I'm experimenting with alcohol.  Green apple UDLs and Agrum taste surprisingly good together.    Probably won't taste so good tomorrow if I'm throwing it up.

Oh well.  It's not like I have anything I need to do tomorrow either.

It's been a while,,,

I think it's been like a month or so since I've last updated.  I'm not sure what made me think to come back, but there's been a lot of stuff I haven't said anything about on here.  Here's what's new.

    Last time I posted, I'm pretty sure I was still looking for a job.  Well, I got a job as a waitress at a truckstop, worked enough in the last month to earn myself $1000, and now I'm quitting.  I know I made such a huge drama about not having a job before, but honestly, I'd rather go back to that than keep working at this place.  It pays $10 an hour (as opposed to my last job paying between $15 and $21 depending on the day), I'm required to do a lot more hours, and during those hours I've been working a crapload more than I think I should considering the pay.  It also helps that they weren't too flexible about me working and going to uni.  So I've quit and my last shift is on Tuesday.

    I'm back at uni for my second year, and holy crap it's getting hard.  For example, my Tuesdays and Thursdays for the last month have consisted of being at uni from 9 to 6, the work from 6:30 to midnight.  Then back at uni the next day.  As a result of my tiredness, and the recent terrible weather conditions, I kind of ruined my bike.  The cars in my area kind of speed around corners, so when there was a speeding car approaching, he swerved his car, I swerved my bike.  I hit a gutter, destroyed the chain, tore off the basket at the back and twisted the handle bar to a 90 degree angle.  As for the damage to me, I got a face full of mud and slime (brilliant idea to break my fall with my face) and my clothes had to be thrown out.  Since then, I've had to walk to uni, which is 5 km a day (or about 3 miles for the Americans).  It's good exercise, but it just makes me so freaking tired that I don't want to go to classes.


When I do turn up to my classes, at least they're somewhat enjoyable.  Statistics (the teacher makes it interesting), Brain and behaviour, health psychology, and learning and behaviour.   It's going to be tough thins semester though.  They actually have fairly high expectations this year.  I may actually have to put some effort in.  Good thing I'm unemployed again.

What else?  Everything else is pretty much the same, I think.  I might try to keep up with posting a bit more, and actually have a topic to talk about.

8th of November: Things I'm going to do when uni is finished.

Good news everyone!  I got my psychology lab report back today, about 20 minutes before I walked into today's exam.  It was about the Stroop Effect, where you have to read words, colours, then the colour of words.  It was pretty boring.  I got 92% though, and combined with my 77% on the last quiz, I didn't even need to turn up to the exam and I would still pass.  That meant that I went into the exam feeling pretty good.

Anyway, the list of things I'm going to do when uni is finished.
1.  Work, and save up for a car.

2.  Work on getting my driving hours up.  Even if I forge my remaining 40 hours, I still can't drive a manual.  I   need to fix that.

3.  Go shopping with the friends, and actually have fun, and not feel guilty about wasting study-time.

4.  Join a gym of some sort.  I know I have all these walking tracks (with lovely named areas such as the "Rape Tunnel") that mean I should be walking my ass off, literally, but I'd rather not walk, then get tired, then find myself several kilometres from home.  If I get on a treadmill or exercise bike, I don't actually travel any distance at all, and I stay in a safe environment.

5.  Spend time with the BF.  Like, real time.  Even though I've spent a bit of time with him lately, it doesn't feel like we're as close now, because we never get time to be together in privacy.  I don't even mean that in a sexual way.  We don't have the privacy to sit and talk without being interrupted by someone.  After uni finishes, I won't really have time constraints, and the issues on his end will be close to resolved, so we won't have all this unnecessary stress.

6.  Go into town and actually get drunk.  I don't remember the last time I was properly drunk.  I know people act all disapproving about people drinking, but clearly these people have never been drunk.  I didn't think it was particularly appealing, until I tried it.  I didn't realise until then how many social restrictions I placed upon myself.  I'm not saying I go out and drink until I pass out.  I've never done that.  And if you don't remember the next morning, you've obviously had too much.  But yeah, getting drunk made me realise that I didn't need to be all uptight.  I could have fun, and talk to strangers, and make friends with people I wouldn't normally look twice at.  It's about life experiences.  How can you say you know yourself until you've experienced yourself in every state of mind available to you?  After I began drinking (note:  I am now legally an adult who can legally consume and purchase alcohol), I learned a lot about myself.  I knew when enough was enough, I knew how much I could handle before I started doing potentially regrettable things,  and I knew that I still had the ability to say no to anything and anyone.  Now, if people want to still go on about how silly drinking is, maybe they should try it first (with an open mind and a positive attitude, of course).

7.  Continue on with NaNoWriMo, until the end of November.  Hopefully, I won't just go completely lazy and sleep all day and ignore my personal goals.

8.  Read some more of my psychology text book.  It's not just a temporary thing, where I learn it for exams and forget it instantly.  It's full of the knowledge I want and need if I have chosen psychology as my profession.  Everything in it is beneficial to me, and I find it very interesting when I don't have anything in particular pressing on me.  The minute I have to read it for study, I want to burn it.

9.  Chip away at my "Sci-Fi Movies to Watch" list.

10.  Try and meet some new people.  I'm running out of friends.

11.  Try and patch up some old friendships that have been dwindling because of uni.

12.  Get the Sims 3 off the bf, and keep playing it.  I"ll also start playing Spore again.

13.  Play my poor little PS3 again.  It's practically brand new, and I've barely played it.  I need to finish FF13, and properly START to play MGS4.

14.  Do my Christmas shopping.

15.  Do something with my hair.  Keep it maintained instead of letting it go wild.

16.  Buy some nice pairs of shoes.

Well.  It's nearly midnight and I have an exam tomorrow.  I'll continue this another day.

Current word count = 15, 264

3rd of November: Hmmm

What am I going to blog about today?

I consult my list of blog topics, and none seem particularly interesting, and I don't think I could squeeze 2000 words out of any of them.  The list I've been getting some ideas off has ideas like "Things that scare the shit out of me", which I have done.  Another topic is "My First Kiss" and "My Worst Kiss".  Not sure I want to talk about those.

My first kiss was when I was drunk at a party, with a friend of mine.  After that, it's been VERY awkward between us.  Especially since my friends don't let it go.  It's not even that embarrassing, but everyone else tries to MAKE it embarrassing.

My worst kiss?  It was a strange night.  Once again, I was drunk.  For those of you who know me, all I have to say is "New Years Eve", and they know exactly what I'm referring to.  For my newest follower, Hed from Hed Down Under, this happened at your beloved Magnetic Island.  Anyway, I was drunk, and instead of wobbling around like the drunk girl I was, I had my hand on the shoulder of some guy, so that I could keep myself upright.  I don't know what happened, but next thing I know, he's kissing me, and he's got his hand up my skirt, trying to tell me I had a fantastic ass.  That didn't work well, because... You know.  Have you ever TRIED to compliment someone while your tongue was halfway down their throat?  Bit difficult.  I said to him, "Excuse me", I turned around, and threw up everywhere.  I didn't stop for a few hours.  And that's why I will never, ever, mix vodka and rum in my stomach every again.   I still feel queasy when I see Captain Morgan rum.  For days afterward, I couldn't drink anything without feeling sick.  It was still the best party I've ever been to.  I think my drunkenness ruined it for everyone else, but I had fun.

So there you go, my first and my worst kiss.  FYI, my first SOBER kiss was with the guy I'm currently dating.  But THAT story is not going to be posted for all the internet to see.  It is quite embarrassing.

Speaking of the guy I'm currently dating, he left his wallet at my house.  It has no money or anything in it.  Just a $2 coin I think.  And a very silly looking school ID from 2009.  I find it funny that he takes such pride in his hair, no matter what it looks like.  In this ID photo, the best way to describe the hair is like a shorter, modified version of Russell Brand's hair.

Kind of like that.  Except his was straightened at the front, and a teased-to-hell rat's nest at the back.  Weird.  Sometime between that photo, from start of 2009, and when I decided to randomly talk to him after 6 years of no contact in January 2010, he cut it so it's shortish, spiky, and highly styled.  No matter what his hair looks like, he's still in love with it.  It's like his prized possession.  I'm not sure what would hurt him more, throwing his last pack of cigarettes into a pool (as Dani-Q once threatened), or shaving his head.  Either way, no one will survive.

But yeah, he left his wallet at my house, under my bed.  I don't have a clue how it got there, considering he put it on my desk, which is on the opposite side of the room.  I tried texting him about it multiple times, but I haven't heard from him.  You would think that he would want it back, but nope.  He doesn't ever have his bank card or anything, so I suppose he doesn't need it.  It just means he'll have to ask for it back from me if he wants to go into town, because his 18+ card is in it.


Well, I managed to ramble on about that for longer than expected.

I have to go to work this afternoon.  I don't fucking want to.  I hate working late, because it means I sit around all day, not doing anything because I don't want to waste my precious free time.  If I worked in the morning, I could go to work, and I'd have all this time afterwards to do whatever I felt like doing.  But working at night, you just wait.  If you go out before work, it feels like you don't have enough time, and you constantly check the time, and you end up late anyway.

I'm supposed to be studying for exams this week.  I only have 2 night fill shifts (putting new stock on shelves), so nothing to worry about there.  Next week, I have all four of my exams.  I also have like 4 night fill shifts, 6pm to 10pm.  Why is it that I get heaps of work when I shouldn't be working, and I get pretty much nothing on the week that I have no uni.  It's the same as when I had all my assignments due about 2 or 3 weeks back.  I worked about 3 times during the week, when I shouldn't have been working at all.

Stupid work.


I can't really think of much else to write at the moment.

OH.  One last thing.  In the backyard, next to the pool, we have all these gardens, all with palm trees in them.  Birds make their nests in them, and the silly birds always choose the palm leaf that's turning yellow and is about to fall off at any second.   It doesn't happen very often, but for the last week, we've had a nest out there.  Two eggs hatched.  One day, my parents witnessed a hawk take one of the babies, and the hawk sat on the pool fence and ripped the baby to shreds, in front of them.  So there was one baby left.  Mum and I expected this baby to be cute, so we went to take a photo of it.

The original photo we took was just a tiny little head sticking out between two palm fronds.  But something wasn't quite right.  We zoomed in on the camera to look at the head, and it looked quite strange.  So we uploaded it on the computer, and I've zoomed in, and cut out all the extra crap so you too can see what I see.

FUCKING LOOK AT IT.   THAT'S SOME MOTHERFUCKING SCARY-ASS SHIT RIGHT THERE.  IT'S BEEN WATCHING ME FOR A WEEK NOW!

It's fuckin' angry.  I can tell.







You know what the scariest part is?  It's gone.  Not in the nest anymore.  I can just tell.  One day I'm going to be home alone, and I hear a strange noise.  I'll turn around, and that THING will be looking back at me.  Possibly holding my dog's severed head.  Now that I think about it, I haven't seen my dog all day....







I guess today can be counted as my first unsuccessful day of NaNoWriMo.  I'm not going to be able to make 2000 words today, since I don't really have a topic.  Lucky I did 3000 words yesterday, I knew it would come in handy one day, I just didn't realise it would be today.  Well, I made it to 1240 words, I might be able to come up with something after work.  My total for November is now 6370.

Also, I've found some pictures from that Zombie Walk that I didn't end up going to.

Makeup by Veeutiful, Photo by Hiroshima Photography.

Survived another day

Did my anatomy exam today.  Not sure how it went.  I think I at least passed, hopefully.  It always sucks when you think "well, I understand enough to get me through the exam" and then the exam doesn't ask you the important stuff, it asks you the bullshit questions that you were told not to worry about studying.  Last anatomy exam, we were told not to worry about the details of each of the layers of the skin.  Guess what 25 of the 40 questions were about?

I passed that one, somehow.  I also vowed to never get that far behind in my study ever again.  I kind of did, but I definitely felt like I learned stuff in this second half of the semester.  That's a plus, I guess.

I did the exam, went home, and tried to start my anthropology essay.   I didn't touch it, because I wasn't really in an African Witchcraft kind of mood.  Went to work, 4 hours of shelf stacking boredom, and I'm home again, still not in the mood for African Witchcraft.  To be honest, I don't think I've ever been in the mood for African Witchcraft.

I discovered that my lipstick (L'oreal Colour Riche, good stuff) has made its way into my bag, without a lid.  Not cool, lipstick.  Not cool.  Last time I had a makeup disaster, it was a  bottle of nail polish on the carpet, and the cleaning product made more of a stain than the original accident did.

Speaking of accidents,  something weird happened outside my house last night.  The dog started barking, and since his bed is outside my window (and I consider him my son), it is my duty to tell him to shut the hell up and go to bed.  Ususally he does, and he stays quiet.  Last night, he wouldn't be quiet.  Then mum heard the noise of our gates opening and closing.  A minute later, the sliding noise of a van door.  She freaked out and assumed people were in our backyard and woke up my dad.  I assumed the dog was being a retard and barking at our weird Indian neighbours (they aren't weird because they're Indian, they are weird and Indian separately). So I ignored it all.

My parents are walking around the house, checking out the shed to see if people were in the yard.  Then they heard voices out the front, and saw an ambulance driving away.  Bit weird, but fair enough.  We're surrounded by old people, someone probably hurt themselves.  Doesn't explain the dog barking, or the gates opening, or the BLOOD SMEARED ON OUR DRIVEWAY!  It seriously looks like something dragged itself from the neighbour's front yard, across the front of our house where the gate(and the dog)  is, across our lawn and onto the road, where it just stops in the middle.  But why did the gate open and close?  Why was there an ambulance further down the road, away from the end of the blood trail?  I'd like to think that my vicious guard dog attacked someone, severely wounding him.  But I don't think he's capable of hurting anyone when he looks like that (see below)

Or is he?

Shake that healthy butt!

I honestly regret getting on this site today.

I went to anatomy.  I saw cadavers.  I poked a few, as I usually do on Thursday mornings.  I came home, got out my books and began to study.  I thought, "oh, I'll do a quick check of all the social networking sites and get into study".  Did that happen?  Well, sort of.

I looked at Morgan's blog (here) and she was talking about the song "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix A Lot, among other things.  I watched the video, laughed at it's ridiculousness, and was reminded of something from high school.  Then the song was stuck in my head while I was doing my anatomy study.

I went shopping to get away from all the anatomy and music.  Didn't stop me from thinking.  I sat there, eating dinner, wondering why men like Sir Mix A Lot are so attracted to women with a thick layer of adipose tissue over their gluteus maximus.  Then one of the anatomy lab assistants walked past, and I lost it.  Ran for the hills (or rather, to the nearest shoe store) to take my mind off people's asses.

Anatomy exam tomorrow/ " I'll study YOUR anatomy..."

Every time I try to think of something to blog about, my brain  goes "NO!  STUDY FOR ANATOMY TOMORROW!"   So, I shall compromise, and blog about anatomy.  I'm like 10 weeks in, and I still associate "studying anatomy" with staring at males.  Cue giggling like an idiot.  I can't help it.

For most of the 10 weeks, we had a female lecturer with a New Zealand accent.  Then, for about 3 weeks, we had a hot male lecturer, Dr. Nathan (He's a doctor!) with an Irish accent.  Now, don't get me wrong, having a hottie with an accent is good, because I was constantly studying his anatomy (that counts as learning, right?).  However, I'm starting to wonder if we (the students) are pronouncing things properly.  All our anatomical terms are taught to us with Kiwi or Irish accents, so do we sound like idiots to Aussie people?  For example, Crypts of Lieberkuhn.  Its somewhere in the digestive system.  I feel like I gain an Irish accent everytime I say "Leeber-coon".  But that's how the lecturer said it.

I'll finish this off later.  I should study.

The Phantom Corn Popper.

1.  I'm going to do a numbered list, rather than a proper, paragraph structured blog, because I don't really have much to say about anything in particular.

2.  I work in a toy store.  This may seem fantastic for all you non-toy-store-employees, but its not all that great.  Don't get me wrong, most of it is great, and I'm not planning on leaving any time soon.  BUT.  The store is seriously a death trap.  Here are some common occurrences:

-Crap falling from shelves on to heads, usually with the pointy bits hitting you in the eye.

-Random unsanitary goo finding its way into children's clothes.

-People (staff and customers alike) falling in every possible direction, such as down stairs, up ladders, up stairs, down ladders, over boxes/children/the occasional dog.

-Finding animals in strange places, like dogs in the warehouse, rats in the nursery, dead possums in bike shop, and these tiny humanoid creatures called children: we kind of have an infestation of the weird little buggers.

-Finding cuts all over your body.  I am covered in tiny cuts, and I am becoming immune to the pain they cause, which is good I suppose.  On a related note, I was on break today, and I felt something strange in my back.  I later have a look at where the feeling is coming from, and I have these giant cuts down the middle of my back.  It looks like I got raked (yes, raked, not raped).

-Some people believe that there may be some sort of poltergeist, due to all the random shit falling unexpectedly, lights flickering, strange noises in some parts of the store, and the fact that something raked me.

-Fisher Price corn poppers.  Google it if you don't recognise the name, but everyone's seen them.  If you put too many of them together, they somehow make a god-awful noise.  I don't know how, since they're made of plastic and styrofoam, but they create like a really high pitched whining sound.  So high pitched, that you can't really hear it unless you're in complete silence, for example, doing nightfill in that aisle.  Its so high, that you aren't sure if its real or you're imagining it, until you bump into them and they stop.  Either way, it scares the shit out of me.  Maybe we don't have a poltergeist.  It might just be a phantom corn popper.

Anyway, that's enough for number 2 on my list.

3.  My blog-writing friend (whose blog tempted me into starting this in the first place) has been nagging me all afternoon about updating, so here it is.  It may seem like I'm taking ages, but believe me, when I do update, its always long enough to satisfy you.

4.  Isn't it always fun to get text messages while you're at work?  I know you aren't supposed to have your phone on you, because you should be working.  But let's ignore that for the moment.  When you receive messages at work, its like it  affirms your existence.  It says to you "Yes, even if you are stuck in the one building for an ungodly amount of time, there is still life outside of its walls, and these life forms are taking the time to think about you".  I'm definitely overthinking this, since the messages weren't particularly deep and meaningful and life affirming, they were the sort that you wouldn't really want to show your grandmother.  Even if it was a bit crude, its still nice to know that someone's thinking about you.

5.  Some of my friends may be aware that I am completely in love with halterneck dresses/tops/whatever.  Sometimes I say I like it because it makes the wearer look classy and elegant.  Really, its because of its well known effect of making breasts look larger.  I like that.  Anyway, readers.  You may rejoice, I have found another halterneck dress to add to my collection.  I now have a black one, and a bright blue one, both of which look stunning.

6.  I have been doing a criminology assignment on the CSI Effect.  Basically, I've been trying to write 1500 words on how TV makes people stupid.  They watch CSI, and expect TV magic to happen in real life crime cases when they are part of the jury.  In my research, I have found some strange stuff.
  
     a.  A prison inmate was caught with drugs in his rectum.  The jury did not have an excrement sample to confirm that the drugs were indeed in his rectum, and not in someone else's.

     b.  In another prison, a syringe was found next to a note signed by a certain inmate.  When approached, the inmate had syringe marks on his arm, and admitted it was his, yet the police did not do a handwriting analysis on the note, so they would not convict him.

     c.  A man sped past police in a stolen car.  When he was arrested, the jury demanded fingerprint tests done on the car, to prove that he was in the car that he was driving (because, apparently, you don't have to be in the car to be seen driving it?).

     d.  A man was acquitted of an attempted murder charge because there was no "scientific evidence",  after hearing the good news, he promptly hunted down his girlfriend and repeatedly stabbed her to death.

The bottom line of my argument is:  People are stupid.

7.  I recently turned 18, as I may have mentioned in some other blog.  This means I can (legally) enter nightclubs.  And I have been doing so.  Anyway.  I was there the other night, sitting there casually while my friends were doing god-knows-what.  I already made a point of finding THEM males to use and abuse in whichever way they please.  I personally am already in a strange sort of agreement with a male, and so I am not even slightly interested in jumping through the hoops to get a new one.

Well, I was trying all night to find friends for my friends, but they were being all wishy-washy standard girl stuff.  They go to do something somewhere, and I am left sitting on a couch.  There's a guy with a bunch of other people about a metre to my left.  He beckons me over, and we begin to talk.  I'm thinking friendly chatting, and apparently he's thinking something different.  He seemed quite confident when he tried to kiss me on the hand/shoulder/cheek/lips, and I realised he never actually asked me if I was comfortable with any of it.  He never asked about any other people I may or may not be involved with.  If he had, I would  happily tell him that I was not looking for anyone, and that I was here for my friends.  But, for some reason, the topic never came up.

He asked me to go outside with him so he could smoke (LOLOLOLOL SMOKER) so I did.  Ah, fresh air, and a noise level suitable for conversation.  Still, the topic never came up.  I just thought, well, I'll give him some way to contact me, and I'll run for the hills so the awkward "I guess I've been leading you on by talking to you" conversation never comes up.  Guess what?  He has no phone.  How come everyone in the developed world has a phone, except for the people that I encounter?

Anyway, went back inside, saw pretty much everyone I know but don't really talk to (funny how people go "OH MY GOD I DON'T TALK TO YOU EVER BUT LET'S HUG ANYWAY" in nightclubs) and found my friends.  I'll skip over like an hour or so, since pretty much nothing happened.  We went back outside again (god knows why), but this time with my friends.  Finally, they were able to correctly identify my uncomfortable body language, and we left, after a very awkward "I'm leaving for no apparent reason" conversation with this guy.

If for some reason you read all this, and you realise, hey, this sounds exactly like me you're describing, then yes, it is you.  I used a lot of commas in that sentence.  Back on track, if this is about you, then I'm sorry about the other night, if you feel I may have led you on or anything.  It wasn't intentional.  You're a nice guy, but I'm not really emotionally available right now (emotionally available - sounds like something out of a dating advice column, but it means that regardless of my married/single/other status, I am personally not able to commit myself to a relationship with you).

I've kind of forgotten my point now.  Maybe there wasn't a point.


8. (I think this is 8, not really sure)  On my desk, I've created a sort of collage of photos from the last 3 years or so of my life.  I've seen lots of other people do it, and I've always looked at it, thinking "wow, this person has so many great memories with friends".  Looking at mine, yes, I have some great memories with friends. But these randomly pasted together images don't accurately reflect my life, because it doesn't show all the stress and pain of the parts in between.

For example, there's a photo from a sports day with people in costumes.  It looks all happy and fun, but leading up to that moment (and even after) there was plenty of arguments, tears, and dirty looks tossed around by all.  Another photo, from film and tv class, doesn't depict the race against time that came in the form of an assignment, which was being completed while the photo was taken. Another one is from a friend's birthday party, and everyone that night was angry at each other, because some chose to go to several other parties that same night, before eventually turning up around midnight.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, because these experiences make me who I am.  But, never again will I look at a photo album of collage and ignore all the happenings between each photo, because what you don't see is just as important as what you do see.

9.  On a lighter note, I have been on lecture recess, and I will be until Monday (Its Saturday now).  I know that right now, I feel stressed and worried about uni, and I'm looking forward to this semester being over, so I get a break and have a chance to save some money (Toy store job + Christmas =$$$$$).  BUT.  I know once uni is finished, after maybe  3 weeks of holidays, I'll be sick of being at home or work all the time, and I'll want to go back to uni.  Oh well.

10.  I have a chihuahua called Butters.  Being a chihuahua, he is quite small, regardless of what size he believes he is.  This size can pose a problem.  He is not a guard dog, and if anyone comes into the yard to steal stuff, they'll probably take him too.  Anyway, we just have him because he'll bark at stuff.  And bark he does.  He's a good little alarm system.  The problem is, what he perceives as a threat is not actually a threat to anyone but him.  Namely, the possums that live in the tree near his bed.  I thought it was funny how they sat in the tree while the dog lost his shit, hopping around on the ground.  However, the other morning, I realized that this situation was far more serious than I thought.  The entire side of the house was a battlefield, and the possums were victorious.  Butters has a little igloo type thing with a dog mattress (which we call his hump rag) and all his toys in it.  The hump rag was over in a completely different part of the yard, and his toys were everywhere, including places that the dog could never reach.  Dog food was spread out all along the side of the house. I believe that possums have co-ordinated an attack against my dog... Bastards.

Well, that's about all for now.  I also have realized that I easily wrote a 1500 word blog post in one go, but I've been agonizing about my 1500 word essay for about a week now.

Empty Fridge Space.

Empty fridge space would be nice right now.  I don't know about you, but seeing a packed fridge makes me anxious.  It means that something is happening.  Someone is coming.  The Cleaning Nazi is stirring from its slumber, preparing to unleash its fury on to a poor little Meeg-Meeg.

Saturday, 21st of August, it did.

It was kind of expected, since that happened to be the day of my 18th birthday gathering at my house.  As you may have previously realised, I kinda/sorta/maybe/probably/DEFINATELY have a problem with people being in my house.  But I have to seem like a normal person every once in a while, so I usually do stuff around my birthday.

When there's large numbers of people coming to your house, you gotta feed 'em.  Hence the sudden need for fridge space.  Its full of food purchased to fill someone else's stomach, and none for the inhabitants of the house.  Unfortunately, I fall under the "inhabitant" category.

Other than the food, the gathering was a moderate success. Sort of.  I just kept repeating to myself "As long as the close friends turn up, it wasn't a complete waste of time".  Well, most of the close friends turned up.  But that wasn't enough.  I feel a bit let down, and also a bit selfish for being let down.  It led to me being pretty miserable and tired all night.  The mood lifted slightly when stuff started catching on fire.  Nothing serious though.

Since the "party" was a failure, I thought, "well, going into town should be fun".  Seeing as though people have been harassing me about how awesomely amazing it is and how they go out every weekend and I'm missing out in the greatest thing ever and they're so excited that I'll be able to go and oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god town boys drinking awesome awesome oh my god wasting money eighteen boys dance oh my god.  So, yeah.  I cop this pretty much every day for a few month, and now that it's here, what do I get?  No money don't feel like drinking it's overrated town sucks I thought you were more mature than that they spike you're drinks you're dressing like a prostitute waste of money don't you have anything better to do you're going to fail uni now blah blah blah blah.


I don't know what to think anymore.  So I think I'll just talk about something else that  doesn't make me so angry.  Like psychology... Wait.


I've been trying to revise for my mid-semester psych exam.  Its not working too well.  Week 1 and 2 was the same as week 1 and 2 from last semester, so one would think that I already know it.   I'd think that too.  But I just get the feeling that I haven't done enough, and I don't know anything about this subject that I've been doing for 6 months longer than most of my peers.  Week 3 and 4 is a new-ish topic, which was sort of covered in senior high school biology.  Once again, I don't know if I know enough to do an exam on it.

There's a website you can sign up to and do chapter reviews and quizzes and stuff.  It makes me angry.  Like everything in psychology, its all very vague and difficult to navigate and I'm pretty sure its some sort of trap.   Especially when it tells me stuff like "Sorry, that was correct".

Everything in psychology is a trap.  EVERYTHING.  In like week 2 of last semester, they presented us with a "fun" tutorial exercise about how a experiment is done.  Five weeks later: BAM.  You know that "fun" thing we did a million years ago?  No?  Well, that's good.  We need a 1500 word lab report on it.  You don't know what a lab report is?  Even better!  You can add that to your list of stuff to learn.

You know what else makes me angry? Y'know how I was all angry about the Father trying to read over my shoulder?  Now, the Mother is hanging around, pretending to do stuff to read over my shoulder and/or steal the computer.  She can't do that.  I'm stressed as hell, thanks to her.  She sees that I'm clearly doing something, and offers to take me out to buy whatever junk food I want.  I clearly can't take her up on her offer, because I have to study, and I can't neglect it to stuff my face with junk.  If I did, she'd make all sorts of comments on how big my thighs are.

She can fucking leave me alone or I'll punch something in the throat.  Funnily enough, the more she hovers, the closer her throat is to punching range.

 I want to go for a drive.  Meaning, I want to just sit in the back of a moving car for hours at a time, just listening to music.  Being in cars and eating are the only 2 things in life that make me feel better, since everything else in life is an utter disappointment. And I can't do either without being called a selfish money waster.  Oh well.

I'm getting this awful feeling inside me now.  Lately, I've been constantly hungry, even after I just ate.  I don't know why, but the feeling is constant.  Normally, I just eat out of boredom or some sort of emotional pain.  But now, its out of physical hunger pains.  My stomach has been making sounds louder than my normal speaking voice.  That's a bit worrying.

Right now, its not hunger.  It's just discomfort.  This, coupled with the stress of tomorrow's exams, the disappointment of the weekend, and a lifetime of expectations that I can't live up to, makes me pretty damn unhappy right now. 

Out of curiosity, I just did a word count.  Nearly 1000 words.  Why can't I do this for assignments?  Just sit down and type and type and produce something that will get me through to the next semester, like this will hopefully get me through the night.

That's the worst part of these moods.  I know that all I need to do is get through the night.  But it always feels like I'll never make it.  The only person I want to talk to right now isn't available for talking, and they don't give a damn anyway.

I think I should just stop now and go back to raging at Darwin's theory of Giving Undergrads Unnecessary Amounts of Study.

First attempt at a blog.

Rather than do my uni assignment, I have instead decided to create a blog.  I'm willing to bet any amount of money that the password is forgotten in a week.  In fact, I may have forgotten it already.

With impeccable timing,  my father looks over his shoulder and asks "What the fuck is a dynamic bicycle?"  Good question.  A dynamic bicycle is the result of a random word generator being abused by a bored blog-creator.

Trivia time:
1.  The blog creator is a student of psychology at a terrible university.

2.  People assume that psychology students know a lot more than they actually do.  I am constantly hearing "Come on, psychologist!"  No, fuck off.  I'm not shouldering the responsibility of a psychologist until I've at least graduated.  I haven't even finished my first year.

3.  My psych tutor is a fool.  Don't try to teach people something you don't know yourself.  Especially if your students have enough knowledge on the topic to correct you.

4.  Psychology brings out my inner rage.  Probably not the best career choice.

5.  Psychology makes me hungry.  Damn classical conditioning.  I've learned to associate psychology lectures with dinner because of last semester's timetable.  Now I'm screwed.

6.  My original career choice in grade 3 was to be a solicitor.  I clearly had no idea what it was.  Come to think of it, I still don't.

7.  Next choice,  marine biologist.  I had no idea what that was either.  Lucky I didn't stick to it, because I am now terrified of the ocean.

8.  When I realised how boring marine biology is, I turned my aspirations to writing.  I still intend to do it one day... Maybe tomorrow.

9.  My father is still harassing me about what a dynamic bicycle is.  I settled for "a website".

10. My train of thought has been obliterated.  I didn't know where it was going anyway.

11.  People keep inviting me over their houses.  They don't get it.  If I have a choice of being at my house or yours, obviously I choose mine. That's why I live there, and not with you.  "But that's socialising for you!"  You may say.  No, just no.

12.  I don't come to your house, so please don't come to mine.  I don't care how much time we spend together outside of our homes, you can't come in.  It may seem rude,  but if you saw the amount of cleaning my family has to do before visitors come, you would tell your favourite people in the world to fuck off too.

13.  My mother turns into the cleaning Nazi if visitors come.  Every room of the house is immaculate,  the dog's hump rag has to be shaken out, the fucking ceiling has to be dusted and wiped with a damp cloth.  I'm not even kidding.  Even if someone is just using our toilet before they go on their merry way.  This is why I rage so hard when I see people with messy houses.  Did the cleaning Nazi attack you?  No?  Well, maybe they should, and it will give me a break for once.

14.  Do blogs have a word limit?  I'm tempted to see how long I can go for.

15.  I'm all pissed off now.  Now I'm rage-eating.  Actually, if rage makes me hungry,  that might explain why psychology makes me hungry.

16.  I kind of have rage issues.  Notice, I'm not "annoyed" or "angry"... Its rage.  Pure, uncensored, 100% rage.  Its probably quite entertaining, unless you're on the receiving end.

17.  My rage-food is making me feel better.  Seeing my father in the corner of my eye, isn't.  This entire night has just been an epic battle between my parents and I.  Starting with me announcing that I was staying home tonight.  One of them said "don't you use your reverse pychology on us!"  And it was ON.  Claws came out, and it somehow ended up as yet another screaming match about a certain friend of mine who I was apparently sneaking out to meet.  Right,  that's precisely why I told you I was staying home.  So I could make sneaking out more difficult for myself.  Maternal-Unit went to a movie, and called Paternal-Unit later to subtly check that I was still home.  To her horror, I answered the phone.

18.  I'm 18 in a week.  Which is awesome.  I've heard so many conflicting views about being 18, and I don't know what to think anymore.  Some people are all "OMG BEST THING EVER"  and other people are like  "Its awful, I hate it".

19.  Maternal-Unit is home.  Time to end this before she asks what a dynamic bicycle is.