Friday, October 29, 2010

My visit to a psychic.

Today started off pretty normal.  I got up, harassed Dan-Q about uni and shopping, then went to uni.  Some strange miscommunication meant that I was at uni, and she wasn't, though she was the one who convinced me to go to uni instead of going straight to the shops.  Dunno what happened there.

We caught up, and went to the food court, and ended up on the topic of blogging.  It somehow got to ghosthunting, ouija boards, and then psychics.  Luckily for us, the local shopping centre has this hippy, earthmother-ish shop called Nature's Wisdom.  It sells candles and dream catchers and fancy rocks that apparently smell like baby breath.  It is also kind of like the home base for our town's "best psychic", called Sarah.  I hear about her on the radio and stuff, so she's not some random lady that took our money and ran.

I decided to get a half hour reading for $50.  I was a bit concerned, since I'm sceptical about psychics and people who claim they can do things.  I want to believe, but I just don't.  I didn't want to go in there and have her tell me a bunch of general bullshit that could apply to anyone, because I was paying good money for it.

Let me tell you, it was WORTH EVERY CENT.

After she asked me how old I was, the first thing she said "Are you in or out of this relationship?"  I was a bit taken aback, not sure of what to say.  BTW, the bf is back in contact with me, and wants to be back together.  Weird, right?

Anyway, I told her I was in the relationship.  She then explained the set up of our next half an hour.  She starts off with a sort of general reading about my life at the moment.  Then I get to ask one, and only one, question.  I asked her how general my question can be, and I was told "ask a broad question, get a broad answer".  Fair enough.  Then she would go over the next year of my life.

The first part ended up as a discussion about my relationship with my bf.  She kept saying that we lived together, then kept correcting herself.  At one point she referred to him as my husband.  That's a bit weird, but I think its just her getting her words mixed up. 

She told me that one person was honest, and one wasn't telling the complete truth.  She said that one person was becoming bored, and that "they don't know what they want, but it isn't this".  She said that the main cause of conflict would be money and children (wtf, she never mentioned children again).  She said that one of us  was very careful with money, and a good saver, and the other has difficulty keeping a hold of it (hmm, I DID just pay $50 to see a crazy lady, clearly, someone has some money to waste).

She told me I was "surrounded by theft".  Not saying that it was me, but someone around me,  and that the law will catch up with them.  That's good.  Unless I suddenly become a thief, and I get caught. But that wont happen. 


She told me that other people were saying things about me, with the intention of hurting me (I know exactly who these people are).  I need to let these things go in one ear and out the other, and not take any of it on board.

Another weird thing she said was that I was living out my consequences for past actions.  Like, I'm at this point in my life because of consequences of past actions.  I have no idea what this is about, but I'll come back to it.

I don't remember what else she said in this part, so I'll continue on. 

I got to ask her one question.  I chose to ask "Will I stick with my current career choice?"  I got the strangest answer ever.  It was a purely career-centred question, and it goes completely off course.  She told me that I am in the exact time and place that I need to be in at this stage of my life.  For the moment, I am on course.  But then shit gets weird.  She tells me I have poisonous influences in my life, that are going to try their hardest to pull me back.  Then she asks me if I think I handle the pressure my parents put on me.  I didn't mention my parentsat all up to this point, then she starts talking about how harmful my father is with his words.  She says that they put these massive expectations on me, that I can never hope to achieve, simply because it makes them feel powerful to see me struggle.  And this will hold me back.  Eventually I'll give up trying to please them, because I know it will never happen.  She told me I will eventually grow enough to stand up for myself, and tell my parents that they have no say over my life, and that I am my own person.  Apparently it will take a lot of work, and it will hurt me.  I was told that I need to QUOTE: "ELIMINATE" these people from my life before they destroy me.

So yeah, my career question ends up being about my parents holding me back, and it seems to be a game of Survivor.

Then we go on to my future.  She gives me quite specific time frames.  In six months time, I'll take a massive step.  I will be terrified, but I'll do it and I'll find peace and happiness within myself.  Within 18 months, my conflict with the bf will be settled.  Interesting how I find peace and happiness in six months, while the relationship conflict continues.  She also says that I need to stop apologising for the consequences of my actions, and that I need to forgive myself and move on.  It would be nice if I fucking knew what I was forgiving myself for. 

She also said that I need to cut the bf from my life.  She said he's bad now, and he's only going to get worse, violence, cheating, etc.  I will apparently experience it all. 

4 more things jump to mind.

1.  She said that I chose my own learning experiences, before I was even brought into the world.  I have some sort of predetermined fate that I chose before I knew I was making a choice.

2.  I have unresolved trauma that I need to come to terms with.  I have no idea what this is about.

3.  The more trauma I experience, the more spiritual I will become.   Hmmm

4.  I have a female presence watching and guiding my emotions for me.  Now I'm paranoid about this presence  guiding me on my spiritual journey to the toilet.  I feel like some poor otherworldly being is wasting a lot of their time on me. 

Anyway, at some point I started crying.  Not because I regretted spending $50, or because I didn't know this.  Just because its such a strange feeling for some lady you've never met before to strip your life bare and tell you exactly how it is.  It kind of set in about how (if she's genuine) I'm going to have a pretty terrible 18 months, with violence, massive changes, and not living up to people's expectations.  All of these things scare the shit out of me.  I don't know how I'm supposed to do it, but I'll survive. 

I wonder if this is a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy.  Since this chick says I'll take a massive step in six months, does that mean I'll be so freaked out by her prediction that I'll have a mental breakdown and move to Ethiopia?  I don't want to make changes just because she said this stuff.  I'll continue on with life as per usual, but when the conflict starts, I guess I'll have these potential solutions in the back of my mind.

I came out, still in tears.  I took a few minutes in the bathroom, washing my hands several times to calm down.  I texted Dani-Q, and she ran up to be all expectantly.  I don't know what she thought when I started crying again.  We sat down, and it took me a while, but I got it all out.  Then I promptly suggested she do it. 

Silly me.

I'll let her talk about what she was told, but there were some strange coincidences. 

So yeah.  I've had a rough day, and I have plenty to think about.  And even though I didn't believe in psychics earlier today, and now I'm still sceptical about most, this lady, real or not, she put on a fucking good act, and everything she said was true.  I dont know how she does it.  I'm definately coming back to her later on in life.

Before I finish, something interesting.  She used tarot cards, and for the last part, I made note of the ones she pulled out so I could find out about them later.  I don't remember them all, but a few stuck out to me.





Now, I'm pretty sure that in any context, the devil is a bad thing.  The meaning for it that I found is this:

Perhaps the most misunderstood card of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. ... this is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remind the Querent that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.


She also pulled out Temperance
I don't get this one's supposed meaning.  Something about balance and symmetry.

 I also got the sun, and the wheel of fortune, but I really can't be bothered finding pictures and meanings for them.

The last one I remember really confused me.  I couldn't work out what it was, because there were no words on it.  It was a person with two crossed swords.  I did some research, and apparently its "The Lord of Peace Restored".  Doesn't sound too bad.  Supposed to symbolize courage and restoration of peace in the mind.

So yeah.  I didn't believe in psychics, and now I believe in at least one. What a strange day. 

Just some word salad for you

I can't be bothered doing a proper blog, so I'll type out a preview of what's to come.

1.  Did my anatomy exam.  Unfortunately, I was not the one examining hot men.  Examiners were examining me examining a severed corpse's arm.  Didn't go as badly as I previously thought.

2.  I'm shopping around for a new hairdresser, since the one I always go to hired a new chick, who told me to go away for a week and think about my choice.

3.  I'm also shopping for a new doctor.  The old one is refusing to give me a script for the pill until I do a pap smear.  That's pretty fucked up.  Spreading my legs for birth control.

4.  I've realised Dani-Q makes most of my life decisions for me.  I was in the shopping centre she works at, and every time I'm presented with a problem, I kind of run to her shop for guidance and pretend I'm buying stuff.

5.  I'm gradually dying my hair lighter, so I can dye it blue.  If I do it while it's red, funky shit may happen.  And I'm not going to risk my hair like that.

6.  The ex-bf texted me about my exam.  God knows how he knows about it, so I'll take it as a romantic gesture.  He has a job now, paid back some debts (nothing serious).  It took him like a week to "sort his life out".  Fickle boy.

7. The Halloween Zombie Walk is on Saturday night, and the there's the afterparty in the local nightclub strip.  I don't think I'll dress up or anything, I just want to watch and possibly go into town afterwards.  I need people to go with me.

8.  November is only like a week away.  Shit shit shit.  I completely forgot about NaNoWriMo.  Still doing it though.

9.  Umm.  Too tired for rational thought.  Finish my sentences tomorrow.

Goodnight.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Red hair + Blonde Hair Dye = ???

So, in a spur of the moment decision, I purchased blonde hair dye. Well, it was a spur of the moment decision about a week ago, but I couldn't find any until now.

I brought it home with me, and watched the Cleaning Nazi do her own roots, before turning her attention on to me.  When it was all in and done, I saw that the stains around my roots seemed quite dark.  I figured that hair dye does go some funny colours before its done.

I should have gone by my instincts that it wasn't right.  Or maybe, the Cleaning Nazi should have said "Hey, this isn't blonde."  But nooooooo, I leave it in my hair for the specificed amount of time.

I was it out, and it looks pretty much the same while my hair is wet.  I get out my brand new hair dryer that cost me $25 from work (yes, apparently toy stores DO sell hair dryers).



Isn't it pretty?

Anyway.  I dry it, and I can't believe my eyes.  Mousy,  Plain-Jane brown.



  I don't know who that chick is, but that's the colour.  Except mine is a more boring shade.  It's not fair.  I payed $10 for that dye, and it did the exact opposite of what I wanted.

FML.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

What is love?





Ok, I just had to do that. Serious blog time.

Some things have happened in the last few weeks that have made me question my beliefs and values and all that other crap about love.

When do you know you love someone?
How do you know that wont change?

While I'm usually pretty open minded towards a lot of stuff, one thing I don't agree with is divorce. I understand that people end up not loving each other as eternally as they originally thought. But to me, marriage is between two people (male and female, male and male, female and female, or any combination, as long as its 2 humans) who see each other as soul mates. I don't think that there is only one person out there for everyone, but I believe that if you go into a contract like marriage, it should be for life. If you don't think you can do that, don't get married.

I understand that everyone thinks differently, so don't get upset about what I'm saying. I just think that people rush into a serious commitment like marriage way too soon.

When I talk to other friends about their thoughts on this kind of stuff, they've told me they'll only date people they could consider marrying. I find that thought horrific. I'd spend so much time looking for "the one", if I found him and he left me, I'd be absolutely destroyed. If I considered him to be marriage potential, I couldn't see how I could ever move on with life, because I'd be without my soul mate.

This is why I don't date people based on marriage-ability. In fact, I don't really date at all. But my now-temporarily-indefinitely-ex-boyfriend (long story, I'll get to it later) is not the kind of person I'd want to marry. Not that I don't care about him, I just don't think I could make a serious commitment to him. The last 10 months haven't been preparation for the "next step", its just been two teenagers having fun while we're still young. I mean, in 5 years or so, (if everything goes to plan) I'll be a white-collar professional, who really shouldn't be casually "dating" everything with a heartbeat.

I couldn't waste my youth on finding a soul mate. I've already missed on on the whole high school dating thing, so I'm trying to have fun while I'm still a student of some sort.

To go off in a bit of a tangent, its kind of the same with drinking/nightclubbing. I'm doing it now, while I'm young and my breasts are somewhat gravity-defiant. I'm not going to wait until I look like a sea-hag. I'll do it while I'm young (but still old enough to be legal) and not just when you deem it "appropriate". Once again, don't take this personally if it sounds like something you might say. Just my beliefs.

This leads to something else: Everyone's varying beliefs on the idea of sex. What makes someone a slut? These days, its thrown around to everyone, including virgins. Its the basic, go-to insult. Of course, its never to someone's face, if its meant as a serious insult. Or, its subtly implied. Or not so subtly. But never outright. But what makes a person a slut? Sleeping with many people only once? Sleeping with one person many times? Who knows?

Anyway. Back to my current situation. There's not really that much to say about it. I went to the house he's currently living in. He and his friend (who lives there) were acting really weird. They started talking about what they were going to do after I left, and I just thought, well I might as well leave now if you have more important things to do. They both started going "No! I don't want you to leave, you can stay if you want!" etc etc etc. Didn't sound convincing at all, so I go home, annoyed about having my time wasted. I get a text message later, with him saying we should "take a break" because he isn't a good boyfriend to me. WTF does that even mean? Don't I have a say in his boyfriend skills? Haven't I already told him he's a pretty terrible boyfriend compared to other people's, but it works for me because I can't have a "full-time" boyfriend?

Its not the first time it's happened. The first time, his family was harassing me over facebook, so we took a break. I took this to mean that it was over completely. I was pretty cut up, but I got over it after 2 months, which was about 2 weeks before my 18th birthday. Then I get a phone call out of the blue from him, asking me to go out with him again. It confused me immensely.

It's been another 2 months since he started talking to me again. I thought it was all going fairly smoothly, and then this happens. I could understand if I was actually angry at him about the other night, but I wasn't. Confused, but not angry. So now we're on another "break". I don't know how long I'm supposed to wait, or if I should wait at all. Last time I waited and waited, then as soon as I finally decided I was no longer wanted, and that I was ready to move on, he calls again. The current situation is so bizarre that I just don't know what to think.

I know my obvious option is to forget about him and move on. But I don't have the patience for someone new. And if I stay single, I'll stay all upset about him.

Another option is to wait for him. But the thought of waiting for someone makes me think "What happens if I don't want to wait? Why does he think I'll come running back to him?" All these unfounded defiant thoughts are strange, considering how I'm quite upset about it all.

I think I'm going to continue on with my life, and see if he can get his life back together. If so, we may get back together again. Or maybe we wont. Depends on how long he expects me to wait. Depends what happens in the next few months. Oh well. No biggie.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Cleaning Nazi Strikes Again.

Well, that title is a little misleading, because it's not really about cleaning.  But it is the Cleaning Nazi who is once again harassing me, this time about DVDs.

As a job, the Cleaning Nazi interprets for Deaf people.  Yes, she can sign.  No, I can't sign, but I can understand enough to get the message.  Anyway.  She's always bringing home stuff to do, or in this case, DVDs to burn.  She and Dad say that she's fantastic with computers and I only wish I was as good as her etc etc etc.  Yeah, maybe in the mid-90s.  Not now.

Anyway, she demanded a week or so ago that I burn a DVD for her.  I tell her I'm busy, which I was.  She keeps demanding throughout the week, and I keep telling her I'm busy, which I was.  Last night I was out and she kept calling and calling me to ask if I burnt the DVD yet.  I said no, but I would do it when I got home.  She asked what program I use, and I told her what it was, but we don't have it on my laptop.

I go home, go to bed.  This morning, she bursts into my room screaming about the DVD.  She said she's ripped it off the original disc and saved it on my laptop, but she can't put it on the blank disc.  I do it for her, on three different discs like she asks.  She bursts in again, screaming that I didn't do it.  She says it has no sound, which is true.  The audio folder on the files taken from the disc are empty, in both the one she did, and the one I did this morning.  I thought this was normal, because Deaf people don't need sound on their educational, dialogue-free movies.  Apparently they do.  And now I'm the worst person ever, because the sound doesn't work.  Even Dad agrees that its all my fault.  It's even my fault that when mum did it without me, there was no sound.  I was clearly controlling the laptop through telepathic means, preventing the sound from being copied off a disc.  Anyway.  I got screamed at, and she went to work to complain about me.

She calls Dad (who is not at work for some reason, dunno why) and I, saying we need to set up the other computer to try and burn the DVD again.  There's 3 main problems with that.
1.  The computer she wants us to set up doesn't work.  That's why its in a cupboard.
2.  She took the disc with her, so we have no way of burning it.
3.  If the sound didn't work the first 2 times, done by 2 different people, I don't think its going to work at all.


So now we have another computer set up, and it doesn't work.  Guess who's going to cop the blame when the Cleaning Nazi gets home?

The blog version of chain mail?

Ok, I'm supposed to pass this on to 7 people or something, but I don't think I even know about 7 blogs I think.  I'm going to do this anyway, because its sort of similar to the blog I wanted to do anyway.


A.) Your Fave Youtube Video

I know it's only supposed to be one video, but I don't care.



The Bed Intruder Song - You need background info to understand this one I think.  A guy broke into a house and tried to rape this chick, and a news crew came and interviewed her brother.   This song is a remix of the interview.  It doesn't sound that funny, but I love it, and I sing along to it.



Look At Me - Semi Precious Weapons. This band is closely associated with a highly controversial artist, which many people hate. So just listen to the song before you pass judgment. I've seen them in concert, and it was fantastic.



My hands are Bananas - This video is amazing. One of my all time favourites. I saw it years ago, and I still sing it with a friend of mine. One more video before I move on.



Na Na Na - My Chemical Romance. Remember the mopey little emo band that was big around 2005? This is the first single from their new album, and it's fantastic. It's like an ADHD ice cream with a rainbow on top. Seriously. There's an astounding amount of colour and energy in this video. It's silly, and more than a little bit cheesy, but I love it.
I'll stop with the videos now. Moving ON!


B.) A Photo that will make everyone say Awww





C.) A funny T-shirt

In case you can't read it, it says : This T-Shirt is 100% Organic : 65% baby seal, 25% panda, 10% manatee




D.) Something geeky

What's more geeky than a list of the most bizzare dating websites?

E.) Link/Image to your fave movie
Hmmm.  I don't really know what my favourite movie is.  I'll give you a link to one of my favourites, but don't worry.  Its supposed to be a silly movie, not dead serious.


F.) A link to the newest blog you've discovered
I don't really find new blogs.  If I find one, I'll tell you.


G.) An item on your wish list 
It's a time machine.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Sorry.

Sorry, people who bother reading this blog.  I haven't had time to update at all.  Even now, with my assignments done, I still feel stressed, like I have to urgently get stuff done.  I feel bad about sitting here typing, even though I don't have to go anywhere for another two hours.  I'll give you a look at my timetable for the last week.

Last Friday: Anatomy Quiz (which I ended up failing by 2 questions)

Saturday: Work all day, come home and work on anthropology essay

Sunday: Work all day, come home and work on anthropology essay

Monday: Do my anthropology essay, hand it in. Go home and work on criminology speech.

Tuesday: Do my criminology speech.

Wednesday: Work on criminology speech, present speech.  Go home and work.

Thursday: Stress about psychology essay, find out it's extended to Monday.  Somehow catch a cold.

 Friday: Do psychology essay, go to work.  Come home and die from my illness.

Saturday: Work all day, have millions of people ask me if I'm ok (No, I'm not ok, I can't breathe through my nose.) come home and do psychology essay. Gums around my wisdom teeth swell up, can't close my mouth.

Sunday: Work half a day, continue dying from both the cold and my teeth, my entire face hurts, come home and do psychology essay.  Go to friend's house, watch movies, feel bad about not doing stuff.

Monday: Do psychology essay. Still dying.  Finish 15 minutes before deadline, run to uni and hand it in.  Boyfriend comes over, asks if I'm sick. Use all my physical restraint not to beat him over the head.


Well, that's my week for you.  That's why I haven't blogged in about a week or so.  Next topic... GO!


Sorry, the two men in my life.  Neither are really men, because one's only 19 and I don't count him as a fully grown man when he's still going through puberty.  And the other one is a dog, but a male dog nonetheless.

To the dog:  I'm sorry I haven't been able to spend much time with you.  I've had all this stupid human bullshit to deal with, so I had to hope you could entertain yourself for a while.  I promise when uni's over, I'll take you for walks everyday, like we used to before I started uni. You're getting fat, and you can't fit through the pool fence as easily as you used to. We need to fix that.

To the boyfriend:  I'm sorry I've kind of had to ignore you for the last week.  I hope I sort of made up for it last night, even if I couldn't come near you because of my cold (which I caught from YOUR friend).  I promise when I'm not sick, I'll spend time with you properly.  I've been so stressed lately, that I've pushed everything to the side, including my own well being.  So don't worry, you haven't done anything wrong.



Sorry, people who had to read my psychology essay.  Actually, I don't even want to think about it, because I'm worried.  I'll just say, it was 500 words over the limit.

Stupid blog, giving me the ability to type 1500 words in one sitting. Now I can write 1500 words essays without struggling.  BUT I can also write 2500 words easily, which poses a problem when you're only supposed to write 1500.

I'll finish this later.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Survived another day

Did my anatomy exam today.  Not sure how it went.  I think I at least passed, hopefully.  It always sucks when you think "well, I understand enough to get me through the exam" and then the exam doesn't ask you the important stuff, it asks you the bullshit questions that you were told not to worry about studying.  Last anatomy exam, we were told not to worry about the details of each of the layers of the skin.  Guess what 25 of the 40 questions were about?

I passed that one, somehow.  I also vowed to never get that far behind in my study ever again.  I kind of did, but I definitely felt like I learned stuff in this second half of the semester.  That's a plus, I guess.

I did the exam, went home, and tried to start my anthropology essay.   I didn't touch it, because I wasn't really in an African Witchcraft kind of mood.  Went to work, 4 hours of shelf stacking boredom, and I'm home again, still not in the mood for African Witchcraft.  To be honest, I don't think I've ever been in the mood for African Witchcraft.

I discovered that my lipstick (L'oreal Colour Riche, good stuff) has made its way into my bag, without a lid.  Not cool, lipstick.  Not cool.  Last time I had a makeup disaster, it was a  bottle of nail polish on the carpet, and the cleaning product made more of a stain than the original accident did.

Speaking of accidents,  something weird happened outside my house last night.  The dog started barking, and since his bed is outside my window (and I consider him my son), it is my duty to tell him to shut the hell up and go to bed.  Ususally he does, and he stays quiet.  Last night, he wouldn't be quiet.  Then mum heard the noise of our gates opening and closing.  A minute later, the sliding noise of a van door.  She freaked out and assumed people were in our backyard and woke up my dad.  I assumed the dog was being a retard and barking at our weird Indian neighbours (they aren't weird because they're Indian, they are weird and Indian separately). So I ignored it all.

My parents are walking around the house, checking out the shed to see if people were in the yard.  Then they heard voices out the front, and saw an ambulance driving away.  Bit weird, but fair enough.  We're surrounded by old people, someone probably hurt themselves.  Doesn't explain the dog barking, or the gates opening, or the BLOOD SMEARED ON OUR DRIVEWAY!  It seriously looks like something dragged itself from the neighbour's front yard, across the front of our house where the gate(and the dog)  is, across our lawn and onto the road, where it just stops in the middle.  But why did the gate open and close?  Why was there an ambulance further down the road, away from the end of the blood trail?  I'd like to think that my vicious guard dog attacked someone, severely wounding him.  But I don't think he's capable of hurting anyone when he looks like that (see below)









Or is he?

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Shake that healthy butt!

I honestly regret getting on this site today.

I went to anatomy.  I saw cadavers.  I poked a few, as I usually do on Thursday mornings.  I came home, got out my books and began to study.  I thought, "oh, I'll do a quick check of all the social networking sites and get into study".  Did that happen?  Well, sort of.

I looked at Morgan's blog (here) and she was talking about the song "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix A Lot, among other things.  I watched the video, laughed at it's ridiculousness, and was reminded of something from high school.  Then the song was stuck in my head while I was doing my anatomy study.

I went shopping to get away from all the anatomy and music.  Didn't stop me from thinking.  I sat there, eating dinner, wondering why men like Sir Mix A Lot are so attracted to women with a thick layer of adipose tissue over their gluteus maximus.  Then one of the anatomy lab assistants walked past, and I lost it.  Ran for the hills (or rather, to the nearest shoe store) to take my mind off people's asses.

Anatomy exam tomorrow/ " I'll study YOUR anatomy..."

Every time I try to think of something to blog about, my brain  goes "NO!  STUDY FOR ANATOMY TOMORROW!"   So, I shall compromise, and blog about anatomy.  I'm like 10 weeks in, and I still associate "studying anatomy" with staring at males.  Cue giggling like an idiot.  I can't help it.

For most of the 10 weeks, we had a female lecturer with a New Zealand accent.  Then, for about 3 weeks, we had a hot male lecturer, Dr. Nathan (He's a doctor!) with an Irish accent.  Now, don't get me wrong, having a hottie with an accent is good, because I was constantly studying his anatomy (that counts as learning, right?).  However, I'm starting to wonder if we (the students) are pronouncing things properly.  All our anatomical terms are taught to us with Kiwi or Irish accents, so do we sound like idiots to Aussie people?  For example, Crypts of Lieberkuhn.  Its somewhere in the digestive system.  I feel like I gain an Irish accent everytime I say "Leeber-coon".  But that's how the lecturer said it.

I'll finish this off later.  I should study.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Look Alive, Sunshine.

It's only been a few hours since I finished my last post, but it's a brand new day, and everything starts fresh if I go to sleep. 

Firstly.  I joined Twitter a while back.  Not because I want to do all the twittering and tweeting and twatting and whatnot.  I just want to stalk some celebrities.  Some of them are celebrities I don't give a damn about.  Stephen... I don't even remember his last name, that's how much I don't care.  Stephen Fry!  I was told that he was witty and clever and stuff.  Not on Twitter, apparently.  He just goes on about all these absurdly British things, and how he goes to random interviews and concerts and his busy schedule and stuff that I don't care about.

I follow about 42 people in total.  Mostly musicians,  some joke accounts like Darth Vader, and a few friends.  None of my friends do anything on Twitter.  They realize that anything that can go on Twitter, can be put on facebook, and actually receive responses.  A few friends don't know that though, and that's why I didn't add them.  Just because we're friends, doesn't mean I care about you craving a muffin.

Secondly, Twitter has alerted me to articles about our new "alien ambassador".  Now that would be a cool job.  Unfortunately, its not real.  Let's pretend it is anyway.  Her name is Mazlan Othman.  Now why the hell did we (not really) appoint someone to represent humans, when their name is not even a vaguely human-sounding name.  Are we even sure SHE is human?  Is that how she got the job?  Also, she's apparently an astrophysicist.  Now, from what I've heard, astrophysicists aren't the most social of people.  They've got all this intelligence packed into one compartment, and nothing on the social side of things.  As my psych lecturer said only yesterday:  People can be "socially retarded".  Not saying my good ole' bud Mazlan is socially retarded, just sayin'.

Who would I prefer as alien ambassador?  I'd personally pick someone young-ish, mid thirties maybe, with some sort of political qualifications, who is a good negotiator.  He'd (yes, HE.  Like it or not ladies, men would be a better representative if we were to make contact with aliens.  It also represents our generally patriarchal society) have to have some sort position of power, not some douche off the street. 

I wonder what sort of qualifications were needed?  From what I read, Mazlan already had a job as Head of Space Affairs or something, and alien ambassador was kind of tacked on at the end.  But what if I wanted to apply?  An 18 year old Australian girl, with a quarter of a degree in something completely unrelated.  Previous experience in fast food and a toy store.  I'd say I'm more than qualified to represent the human race.

Anyway, like I said earlier, its not real.  Damn.  Dreams are being shattered all over the place here.

I don't feel very good.  It's about 9am at the moment, and I feel like I'm hungover.  I don't usually get hangovers when I drink, so why do I get them when I purposely AVOID drinking?  Energy drink for breakfast.  I know it's probably terrible for me, and I don't gain anything from it, but I drink them anyway.  I don't know if there's actually a major difference between energy drinks, but for some reason, everyone has a preference.  I like Monster.  My parents get this confused with Mother, so when I ask them to buy me Monster, they get Mother.  I drink it anyway.

I just opened iTunes to have some music playing while I attempt to pull shit out of my ass for this blog.  I need to work on writing 2000 words a day for November. I set the challenge, and other people are taking it on, so I can't just fail at it.   I've managed to write at least 1500 for the last few blogs, so I just need to build on that.  I don't know how I even manage that, since most of my assignments are 1500 in length, and I struggle with them for weeks.  But if I just dribble shit, I can do 1500 no worries.

Back to my point.  I put on iTunes to hear some music.  It wants me to download another update.  What if I don't want to?  Oh, is that right iTunes?  You'll stop working if I don't?  God damn it, I guess I will then.  I'm not happy about that last update.  I had my library all set out nicely, exactly how I wanted it.  I download an update, and its entirely different.  Now there's shit everywhere, and I can't get rid of it.  And the logo thing is different too.  Why change it?  They somehow managed to change it to be more generic.  Now it's not distinctly iTunes, it's more like iGeneric Music Player.  I suppose that works.  Apple likes monopoly.  They want their program to be the generic music player, so the average computer user won't ever use another program.


Speaking of monopoly, that reminds me of a topic scheduled for November.  Monopoly.  Stay tuned for that exciting one.

Back onto the topic of music.  Katy Perry's California Girls (Gurls?).  The song isn't that terrible, but maybe I'm blinded by my infatuation with her.  So blinded that I can't hear.  That makes sense.  I mean, look at her. (also, look at that halterneck! See what it does?)

  The song is the standard "let's party on the beach" kind of song.  It goes on about pretty girls, bikinis, beaches etc.  So you think the music video will be straightforward, and it will fit perfectly.  Apparently, Katy Perry is living in Bizzaro-California, some alternate reality where Snoop Dog is a giant, with an army of rude little gummy bears.  Its all candy and board game themed, because, y'know, the song is all about candyland board games.  Didn't you hear how many times she mentioned it in her song?


...

Clearly, this is an example of media misrepresentation.  I was lead to believe that California was an American state, known for its beaches, and slutty lay-around women.  Katy Perry has shown me the truth!  It's all a giant board game with cotton candy and tiny dresses, and no obesity or diabetes in sight (those pieces stay in the box) !

Don't worry.  I'm quite heterosexual, and I only obsess over certain females.  Namely you, "Ms OMG If you can find other females attractive, you MUST be attracted to me!".  Be at ease, you aren't my type.  My type  has stubble, a manly stench and a penis.  Or, since the people who know me are comparing this image to the image of someone else right now,  I'll settle for the potential for stubble, the stench of smoke (hey, I'm anosmic, but that's for another day), and a penis.  Not that penises are important.  It just makes them male.

Dad's home (I think).  So I'll finish this later.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Inverted Greebles [UPDATED]

I'm conflicted.

I have someone texting me about going out all day. I've had someone nagging about me blogging all day. I clearly can't do both to a satisfactory level, so I compromise. I blog as well as I possibly can, while my poor little phone is buzzing its little heart out.

The reason why I am putting off my social life for an hour or so is because of NaNoWriMo. National Novel Writing Month. It's actually international, but that ruins the catchy name. The other day, I was going about my daily business, and I realised it was October. Then I thought, "Hmm, when's November?" Then I pretty much creamed myself when I remembered what order the months of the year go in.

It's November next month! And NaNoWriMo is in November! And that means that NaNoWriMo is next month, in case you have reading comprehension issues!

Two years ago, I first heard about it. As a little sixteen year old, I found it to be too daunting. And, it was already December by then... Last year, I signed up, had a few months of intense dedication and excitement, until November 1, when I gave up... On.The.First.Night.

God damn it.

Ah well. This year, I decided I wasn't going to do it. Then I was thinking about Russell Brand putting out a second autobiography (despite how young he is, and how it's only been a few years since his first). I considered writing my own autobiography, but that would be silly, since I haven't really had too many dramatic life changing events to dedicate chapters to.

Instead, I'm going to do this blog as my NaNoWriMo project. The goal is 50 000 words, which is the size of a smallish novel. I worked this out last year, if I do 2000 words a night, it gets me over the line by the end of the month. So yeah. No structured and carefully planned narratives for me, just an endless stream of Meganisms (apparently, within my extended family, that is a commonly used term). Don't worry, I have plenty to talk about.

You know that person I was telling you about, who keeps texting me? He turned up at my house anyway, despite my dismissals. I'll finish this later. I may be slightly drunk, but it will be completed.


To Be Continued...



I'm back, and I figured that I might as well continue this one, rather than start a new one.

ANYWAY.

So my NaNo project will be this blog. I told Dani-Q about this, and she's up for a challenge. Personally, I think we'll both surrender within a week, but who knows? Typing in this blog isn't nearly as hard as trying to write your own fictional story, where you're constantly wondering if it's going to be any good and screaming "DON'T READ IT!" Every time someone walks past. Also, this way, it seems like I'm making daily progress. I'm really not, since I don't have a goal other than word limit.

I'm going to go ahead and tell you something completely (well, not completely, but somewhat) off topic here.  I've been writing stories and crap since I was learning to write.  My first one was like 2 pages long, and it was about a crab with magical powers.  I was clearly a strange little child.  Anyway, I've been writing for a long time.  I've also gone to a few different workshops with authors and shown them my writing and whatnot.   I won a poetry competition once.  It was also terrible, but not as bad as other kids' I guess.

I picked up a tiny little piece of advice from god knows where, but it helps as a character building exercise.  I used it once, and I liked it a lot, it's a shame I didn't keep those few paragraphs.  IT WAS:  Write a scene where your character(s) are having breakfast.

Y'know, you can learn a lot about someone from their breakfast.  Think about it.  My breakfast, or lack thereof, is completely dependent on what time of the year it is.  If I have cereal (which takes me like an hour to eat), I have plenty of time so I must be on holidays.  If I have something quick, and un-breakfast-like, for example pizza, I am going somewhere, probably uni.  If I have a coffee or something liquid, I'm going to work and don't have time for food.  If I have nothing, I'm going shopping, where I buy something while I'm out.

It also teaches you a lot about another person.  Let's say Jane wakes up at 2pm on a Sunday afternoon, and rather than go for the greasy bacon and eggs that her husband made her several hours ago and left on the bench, she goes for a nice big glass of water and a puke.  Big night, Jane?  I can tell.

John wakes up at 5:30am, has a power-shower, and grabs his protein shake on the way out of the apartment, with a towel around his neck.

It can also be done with several characters having breakfast together. A family with three kids, Mum rushing off to work while Dad feels the toddler.  Or, the other way around gives you a completely different story.

I'll stop now.  You get the picture.


To continue with something completely different, I'm going to see if I can get to 2000 words without running out of steam.



People who invite themselves along to stuff:  I had to deal with this situation personally today.  A friend of mine sent me a message about going into town (to nightclubs) tonight  for cheap Tuesday.  I was willing to go, because I figured I have money to spend on some fun.  I ran into another friend, who was also going out tonight.  That's when they told me "(Let's call her...) Barbara kind of invited herself. "  So, by extension, I invited myself as well, since the one who invited me wasn't invited.  Its not a huge deal, since I really don't think they would care if I went (it's my town too, guys.  I see it as a party that everyone's invited to).  Still, I told the chick who organized it that I was going to have a night alone, and save my hard earned cash.  That's what I fully intended to do.

I got home from uni, had a shower, washed my hair (FINALLY).  I snuggled up in my PJs, started this post, and KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.  My pyjama party was crashed by the boyfriend.  Mum runs into the room, frantically gesturing for me to put some real clothes on.  So he makes awkward conversation with my parents, who hate him, while I get dressed as slowly as possible.  I'm not going to make things easier for you if you turn up unannounced.  Keep that in mind before you show up at my house, whoever you are, Blog Stalker.

We get food, go places, blah blah blah.  Then I find out that (the person who I renamed as...) Barbara has texted my boyfriend (because renaming is fun, let's call him...) Ken, trying to make him take her into town.   Fair enough if I was going in with her, but I wasn't going to.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not angry, I just thought it was strange (and a bit funny).  Anyway, enough about tonight.  It was weird and I can't be bothered trying to explain why.

Speaking of Barbara and Ken, I was talking to Danique today about Barbie (the doll).  In particular, the Twilight Saga dolls made by Mattel (the company that makes Barbie).  I was telling her about the massive jump in quality from the first movie's Bella and Edward dolls, who look like a brunette Barbie and a pasty white freak.



To a semi normal looking Jacob doll for New Moon, which I won't link to, since I can't find a decent picture of the one we sell at work.  Then, when Eclipse came out, I noticed these were the most amazing dolls I have ever seen.  Freakin' look at them down there!



 How cool are they!  And I don't even like Twilight!  But they look like the characters, and not like Barbie/Bella.  This got us onto the topic of other Mattel triumphs, and a couple of other fucked up dolls.  There's the Black Label Basics Barbies, which are like the perfect women.  Not even like Barbie perfect, more like perfect in a more-perfect-than-Barbie way.  As Danique put it, "It's America's Next Top Model for Dolls!"





Once again, how cool are they!!!!!!  The really really black one makes me laugh.  It sounds so racist, but its funny when the packaging is black, the doll's dress is black, and the doll is the same colour as the packaging, so from a distance it looks like an empty box. Still, I'd kill to look like any of these dolls, because they are far too good looking for real people. 

What else was I going to write about?


There's some guy trying to talk to me on facebook chat.  Honestly, if you're relying on FB chat to contact me, I clearly don't like you enough to give you any of my real details, so don't bother talking to me.  He's some random guy, I don't know where I found him because he's well into his 20s, and I don't have any friends that old.  Not that it's old in the general scheme of things, it's just that I'm barely 18, so someone in their twenties is old and worldly to me.  Anyway, the point I was going for before I got off track, when we first encountered eachother, we were strangers.  Now, nearly a year later, we seem to have a lot of mutual acquaintances.  They're all people we've both known for ages, separately.  It's like I'm playing 6 Degrees of Separation with myself. 

I'm not going to talk to him. 

He's weird.


One last thing.  Watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63lyA42Y6ug&feature=related

Since I don't think the link worked.

My god.  November can not come fast enough.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

THERE IS A GOD

THERE IS A GOD.  And they let me stop following this fucking blog.  I'm sorry about any swearing that may happen, but I am so UNBELIEVEABLY happy.  My blog-writing friend tried to get me to follow other people, and I tried it.  I somehow ended up following something completely unrelated, which was written in Japanese or something.  As much as I like Japanese people/culture, I'd rather you didn't spam up my internets.

Someone else read this, and demanded I continue writing tonight, so I thought I might as well include the grueling quest to unfollow people I don't know.  Also, you know that ghostly rake attack I suffered at work?  I've just noticed the 6 or so arm-length scratches near my elbow *cue X-Files music*.  I'm not sure what's going on, but it's kind of cool, apart from how painful they are.  Normally, I would blame scratches on ma doggeh.  But as previously mentioned, he's a chihuahua.  He can't scratch up my back or my arm. So yeah.  Creepy.

The Phantom Corn Popper.

1.  I'm going to do a numbered list, rather than a proper, paragraph structured blog, because I don't really have much to say about anything in particular.

2.  I work in a toy store.  This may seem fantastic for all you non-toy-store-employees, but its not all that great.  Don't get me wrong, most of it is great, and I'm not planning on leaving any time soon.  BUT.  The store is seriously a death trap.  Here are some common occurrences:

-Crap falling from shelves on to heads, usually with the pointy bits hitting you in the eye.

-Random unsanitary goo finding its way into children's clothes.

-People (staff and customers alike) falling in every possible direction, such as down stairs, up ladders, up stairs, down ladders, over boxes/children/the occasional dog.

-Finding animals in strange places, like dogs in the warehouse, rats in the nursery, dead possums in bike shop, and these tiny humanoid creatures called children: we kind of have an infestation of the weird little buggers.

-Finding cuts all over your body.  I am covered in tiny cuts, and I am becoming immune to the pain they cause, which is good I suppose.  On a related note, I was on break today, and I felt something strange in my back.  I later have a look at where the feeling is coming from, and I have these giant cuts down the middle of my back.  It looks like I got raked (yes, raked, not raped).

-Some people believe that there may be some sort of poltergeist, due to all the random shit falling unexpectedly, lights flickering, strange noises in some parts of the store, and the fact that something raked me.

-Fisher Price corn poppers.  Google it if you don't recognise the name, but everyone's seen them.  If you put too many of them together, they somehow make a god-awful noise.  I don't know how, since they're made of plastic and styrofoam, but they create like a really high pitched whining sound.  So high pitched, that you can't really hear it unless you're in complete silence, for example, doing nightfill in that aisle.  Its so high, that you aren't sure if its real or you're imagining it, until you bump into them and they stop.  Either way, it scares the shit out of me.  Maybe we don't have a poltergeist.  It might just be a phantom corn popper.

Anyway, that's enough for number 2 on my list.

3.  My blog-writing friend (whose blog tempted me into starting this in the first place) has been nagging me all afternoon about updating, so here it is.  It may seem like I'm taking ages, but believe me, when I do update, its always long enough to satisfy you.

4.  Isn't it always fun to get text messages while you're at work?  I know you aren't supposed to have your phone on you, because you should be working.  But let's ignore that for the moment.  When you receive messages at work, its like it  affirms your existence.  It says to you "Yes, even if you are stuck in the one building for an ungodly amount of time, there is still life outside of its walls, and these life forms are taking the time to think about you".  I'm definitely overthinking this, since the messages weren't particularly deep and meaningful and life affirming, they were the sort that you wouldn't really want to show your grandmother.  Even if it was a bit crude, its still nice to know that someone's thinking about you.

5.  Some of my friends may be aware that I am completely in love with halterneck dresses/tops/whatever.  Sometimes I say I like it because it makes the wearer look classy and elegant.  Really, its because of its well known effect of making breasts look larger.  I like that.  Anyway, readers.  You may rejoice, I have found another halterneck dress to add to my collection.  I now have a black one, and a bright blue one, both of which look stunning.

6.  I have been doing a criminology assignment on the CSI Effect.  Basically, I've been trying to write 1500 words on how TV makes people stupid.  They watch CSI, and expect TV magic to happen in real life crime cases when they are part of the jury.  In my research, I have found some strange stuff.
  
     a.  A prison inmate was caught with drugs in his rectum.  The jury did not have an excrement sample to confirm that the drugs were indeed in his rectum, and not in someone else's.

     b.  In another prison, a syringe was found next to a note signed by a certain inmate.  When approached, the inmate had syringe marks on his arm, and admitted it was his, yet the police did not do a handwriting analysis on the note, so they would not convict him.

     c.  A man sped past police in a stolen car.  When he was arrested, the jury demanded fingerprint tests done on the car, to prove that he was in the car that he was driving (because, apparently, you don't have to be in the car to be seen driving it?).

     d.  A man was acquitted of an attempted murder charge because there was no "scientific evidence",  after hearing the good news, he promptly hunted down his girlfriend and repeatedly stabbed her to death.

The bottom line of my argument is:  People are stupid.

7.  I recently turned 18, as I may have mentioned in some other blog.  This means I can (legally) enter nightclubs.  And I have been doing so.  Anyway.  I was there the other night, sitting there casually while my friends were doing god-knows-what.  I already made a point of finding THEM males to use and abuse in whichever way they please.  I personally am already in a strange sort of agreement with a male, and so I am not even slightly interested in jumping through the hoops to get a new one.

Well, I was trying all night to find friends for my friends, but they were being all wishy-washy standard girl stuff.  They go to do something somewhere, and I am left sitting on a couch.  There's a guy with a bunch of other people about a metre to my left.  He beckons me over, and we begin to talk.  I'm thinking friendly chatting, and apparently he's thinking something different.  He seemed quite confident when he tried to kiss me on the hand/shoulder/cheek/lips, and I realised he never actually asked me if I was comfortable with any of it.  He never asked about any other people I may or may not be involved with.  If he had, I would  happily tell him that I was not looking for anyone, and that I was here for my friends.  But, for some reason, the topic never came up.

He asked me to go outside with him so he could smoke (LOLOLOLOL SMOKER) so I did.  Ah, fresh air, and a noise level suitable for conversation.  Still, the topic never came up.  I just thought, well, I'll give him some way to contact me, and I'll run for the hills so the awkward "I guess I've been leading you on by talking to you" conversation never comes up.  Guess what?  He has no phone.  How come everyone in the developed world has a phone, except for the people that I encounter?

Anyway, went back inside, saw pretty much everyone I know but don't really talk to (funny how people go "OH MY GOD I DON'T TALK TO YOU EVER BUT LET'S HUG ANYWAY" in nightclubs) and found my friends.  I'll skip over like an hour or so, since pretty much nothing happened.  We went back outside again (god knows why), but this time with my friends.  Finally, they were able to correctly identify my uncomfortable body language, and we left, after a very awkward "I'm leaving for no apparent reason" conversation with this guy.

If for some reason you read all this, and you realise, hey, this sounds exactly like me you're describing, then yes, it is you.  I used a lot of commas in that sentence.  Back on track, if this is about you, then I'm sorry about the other night, if you feel I may have led you on or anything.  It wasn't intentional.  You're a nice guy, but I'm not really emotionally available right now (emotionally available - sounds like something out of a dating advice column, but it means that regardless of my married/single/other status, I am personally not able to commit myself to a relationship with you).

I've kind of forgotten my point now.  Maybe there wasn't a point.


8. (I think this is 8, not really sure)  On my desk, I've created a sort of collage of photos from the last 3 years or so of my life.  I've seen lots of other people do it, and I've always looked at it, thinking "wow, this person has so many great memories with friends".  Looking at mine, yes, I have some great memories with friends. But these randomly pasted together images don't accurately reflect my life, because it doesn't show all the stress and pain of the parts in between.

For example, there's a photo from a sports day with people in costumes.  It looks all happy and fun, but leading up to that moment (and even after) there was plenty of arguments, tears, and dirty looks tossed around by all.  Another photo, from film and tv class, doesn't depict the race against time that came in the form of an assignment, which was being completed while the photo was taken. Another one is from a friend's birthday party, and everyone that night was angry at each other, because some chose to go to several other parties that same night, before eventually turning up around midnight.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, because these experiences make me who I am.  But, never again will I look at a photo album of collage and ignore all the happenings between each photo, because what you don't see is just as important as what you do see.

9.  On a lighter note, I have been on lecture recess, and I will be until Monday (Its Saturday now).  I know that right now, I feel stressed and worried about uni, and I'm looking forward to this semester being over, so I get a break and have a chance to save some money (Toy store job + Christmas =$$$$$).  BUT.  I know once uni is finished, after maybe  3 weeks of holidays, I'll be sick of being at home or work all the time, and I'll want to go back to uni.  Oh well.

10.  I have a chihuahua called Butters.  Being a chihuahua, he is quite small, regardless of what size he believes he is.  This size can pose a problem.  He is not a guard dog, and if anyone comes into the yard to steal stuff, they'll probably take him too.  Anyway, we just have him because he'll bark at stuff.  And bark he does.  He's a good little alarm system.  The problem is, what he perceives as a threat is not actually a threat to anyone but him.  Namely, the possums that live in the tree near his bed.  I thought it was funny how they sat in the tree while the dog lost his shit, hopping around on the ground.  However, the other morning, I realized that this situation was far more serious than I thought.  The entire side of the house was a battlefield, and the possums were victorious.  Butters has a little igloo type thing with a dog mattress (which we call his hump rag) and all his toys in it.  The hump rag was over in a completely different part of the yard, and his toys were everywhere, including places that the dog could never reach.  Dog food was spread out all along the side of the house. I believe that possums have co-ordinated an attack against my dog... Bastards.

Well, that's about all for now.  I also have realized that I easily wrote a 1500 word blog post in one go, but I've been agonizing about my 1500 word essay for about a week now.